(It might behoove Constant Readers and Noobs to familiarize themselves with the concept of the Big Guy Irritation Index - Here & here)
Scheduled departure time: 11:11am
9:40 Arrive JIA, check in.
BGII-2
9:59am: TBG at the gate.
(yes, scanned AND groped. I'm actually starting to look forward to it...)
BGII- 3
10:20am: Plane arrives
BGII-3
10:50am
We haven't boarded yet...
Starting to worry...
BGII-4
11:01
Announcement: Weather @ ORD, flight canceled.
(cue stampede to gate desk for flight changes)
BGII-4
11:02
TBG leaves gate to go back to ticketing desk to rebook.
Try to contact United toll-free number while walking back to check-in desk.
Fuggetaboudit.
BGII-4.5
11:04am
Reach desk
Wait in line (one person in front of me)
11:09am
Start trying to get routing/seats to Calgary
11:15am
Not much luck.
Best bet: JAX-IAH-LAS-YYC,
Getting in just after midnight. Maybe.
BGII-5
11:17am
Call from gate: they are reinstating the flight. Get back to the gate. Now!
BGII-7
11:29
TSA, sensing stress and aggravation, sends me to the Radiation & Ball-jiggling line, for a second dose of scanning & groping.
BGII-8
They've lit the fuse now...
There is a bit of a verbal beat-down at moderate-to-high volume when the TSA testicle toucher tells me to assume the position:
"Hey- those gloves are for my protection as well as yours.
I just watched you grope the crotch on five different guys wearing the same pair of gloves, now you're going to run them all over me? I have news for you.
If you touch me without changing them, I'll see what I can do about having your ass brought up on charges of assualt..."
The Ball-Checker has a quick confab with his Supervisor, who, in essence tells him to change his gloves and get that loud-mouthed bastard out of the checkpoint.
A very cursory pat-down followed and I was on my merry way.
BGII-9
11:41am
Back at the gate. Boarding has started.
11:45am
On plane. Bulkhead, aisle.
(the only thing that actually worked out for me today.)
11:58am
Pushback & Departure
Hopefully the one hour delay doesn't screw up my connection to Calgary.
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
Scheduled departure time: 11:11am
9:40 Arrive JIA, check in.
BGII-2
9:59am: TBG at the gate.
(yes, scanned AND groped. I'm actually starting to look forward to it...)
BGII- 3
10:20am: Plane arrives
BGII-3
10:50am
We haven't boarded yet...
Starting to worry...
BGII-4
11:01
Announcement: Weather @ ORD, flight canceled.
(cue stampede to gate desk for flight changes)
BGII-4
11:02
TBG leaves gate to go back to ticketing desk to rebook.
Try to contact United toll-free number while walking back to check-in desk.
Fuggetaboudit.
BGII-4.5
11:04am
Reach desk
Wait in line (one person in front of me)
11:09am
Start trying to get routing/seats to Calgary
11:15am
Not much luck.
Best bet: JAX-IAH-LAS-YYC,
Getting in just after midnight. Maybe.
BGII-5
11:17am
Call from gate: they are reinstating the flight. Get back to the gate. Now!
BGII-7
11:29
TSA, sensing stress and aggravation, sends me to the Radiation & Ball-jiggling line, for a second dose of scanning & groping.
BGII-8
They've lit the fuse now...
There is a bit of a verbal beat-down at moderate-to-high volume when the TSA testicle toucher tells me to assume the position:
"Hey- those gloves are for my protection as well as yours.
I just watched you grope the crotch on five different guys wearing the same pair of gloves, now you're going to run them all over me? I have news for you.
If you touch me without changing them, I'll see what I can do about having your ass brought up on charges of assualt..."
The Ball-Checker has a quick confab with his Supervisor, who, in essence tells him to change his gloves and get that loud-mouthed bastard out of the checkpoint.
A very cursory pat-down followed and I was on my merry way.
BGII-9
11:41am
Back at the gate. Boarding has started.
11:45am
On plane. Bulkhead, aisle.
(the only thing that actually worked out for me today.)
11:58am
Pushback & Departure
Hopefully the one hour delay doesn't screw up my connection to Calgary.
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
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