Sunday, June 19, 2005

Once more. into the breach...

So I'm off to LA in th AM. I love going to LA. NOT.

Don't get me wrong... LA is nice, and some of the people out there are wonderful, but I hate GOING there.
It is dealing with the airports, airlines, and sitting for several hours in a seat with very little leg room that just kills me.

First- lets deal with Airport Math.

Flight is at 7:20AM
They want you there 1 hour before the flight, so I need to arrive at the airport by 6:20.
Now, on the average, it takes me 15 minutes to park my car and get the shuttle to the terminal, so that means I have to arrive at the parking lot by 6:05.
Ok... (This is getting ugly.)

So... it is 26.5 miles to JIA from the Humble Abode... It takes about 40 minutes on average. Early morning is a little less, but we can't count on it, so... I have to LEAVE the house by 5:25. AM.

Alrighty then. If I set the clock for 5:00AM, and don't hit snooze, I hit the shower, dress and throw my stuff in Physalia, I should be OK.

No margin for error, though.

I'll set the clock for 4:45.
I hope I can sleep on the plane...

Second- The TSA.

Idiots. Every one of them.
I swear to God.
They wouldn't know a weapon if it jumped up out of a bag and bit them on the nose.
And the whole concept of improvised weapons is lost on the people at Homeland Security. The circus that is the mag and bag at 99% of the airports in the US is an unbelievable joke.
Thrown in a bearded lady, and organ grinder and his monkey and a couple spotlights, and you could take that show on the road... Quite a few of the TSA personnel can pass as the animals (elephants, camels, sloths, etc) and the rest can all tumble out of a small car wearing face paint and their uniforms. They are a bunch of clowns.
Don't agree with me? That's fine. It MY OPINION, and you are entitled to yours.
The fact that there are so many levels of "inspection" at the airport is a big indicator that the entire system doesn't work...
Look, it you have to subject "random" people to more intense scrutiny, that is a tacit affirmation that the mag and bag doesn't work. And if it doesn't work, then why do it? Just accept it and pat everyone down if that is what it takes. But don't blow smoke up my ass and tell me that the all-powerful xray machine and metal detector are going to adequately safeguard the air traveling public, but let's choose random people to be checked a little better...
And the process of printing a "SSS" on the ticket of someone who purchased their ticket in the last 24 hours...
I hate to tell you, Dept of Homeland Security... You have to hide your procedures better than that...The second you implement a visual cue on the tickets, then issue a memo to all and sundry, the Bad Guys know about it and can make plans to thwart it...
And the shoe thing... Give me a break, please.
Yeah... someone getting on a plane wearing a business suit and 4-inch clogs, yeah... better check it.
But when I go through security wearing flip flops, but you STILL make me take them off and run them through the xray? Please. Get a clue.

Hey. Homeland Security... Take a handful of twentys from the piles of money that your are stealing from other more deserving government programs and go BUY YOURSELF A CLUE!!!

So... I'm off to LA. Corona, actually.

Wish me luck at the airport.

TBG out.

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