Sunday, July 06, 2008

Loggerhead Key - Beginning of Week 3

Greetings Constant Readers!

Once again I have stowed-away on the Patrol Boat and made my way to the office to check my e-mail and do a quick post to the 'site.

Just a few pics to post before the find me and ship me back to the Gulag Caretta Archipelago...

We've had several great light shows- nothing like last year's, though...


Light show over the north part of the Island


Lighning over the Fort


One more from the north.

Another storm from rolled across the islands... This shot was taken just before the Fort completely disappeared from view behind the curtain of rain...


Hope the campers have their rainflys up...heh.

Waterspouts... We got 'em.

When the clouds are low on the horizon it's always fun to watch for waterspouts.
These little tornados can be interesting to watch as they twist across the water. Most that I've seen down here are the little ones... But they can get pretty big.
I remember some monsters from when I was a kid up in the Keys...


A little twister west of Loggerhead...

Preview-

Uncle Jay is going to teach you a little something about surviving on a deserted island.
How to utilize coconuts in the wild...

To wit:
How to go from this-

to...

...this.
Strombus not included...

TBG out-

Thursday, July 03, 2008

LHK Week 2

Just a quick note and a couple pictures...

To paraphrase Browning...

O, to be on Loggerhead, now that summer's there...


The Woman and the Perfect Child during the afternoon siesta.


Some visitors are more crabby than others...


The weather is always a joy too...


A beautiful morning...

Give it a few hours...


This squall ripped across this island last night...
Lots of rain and high winds.

But by the next morning the world was once again spinning in greased grooves...



Sunrise over the Geiger Trees.

Never a dull day on Loggerhead...

TBG out-

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

She's Just Thrilled

Can't you tell?



If looks could kill...

Loggerhead '08

A/K/A
Tryin' to Reason With Hurricane Season

Greetings Constant Readers...
It"s that time of year again. I'm on that midnight run from Jax to Key West.
At daybreak Yours Truly, The Woman Who Knows Most Things and the Perfect Child will be skimming across 70 or so miles that separate weirdness from tranquility.
Just a little Lattitude adjustment before heading back to Beijing mid-July.
I'll have limited Intartube access, but hopefully I'll be able to do a post or two from the Tortugas.

TBG, Loggerhead-bound...

Friday, June 20, 2008

TR2 Summary

A one-paragraph to describe the last two weeks:
No matter what logic or reasoning you employ, you will regret any and all decisions you make.


This bodes ill for July 16 through August 27.

TBG, just shoot me now-

Poor Planning.

I didn't drink enough to make the Airport Experience as painless as I would have liked.

There is a fine line between "hapily buzzed" and "drunk and disorderly".

TBG - tired already.

On the Big Silver Bird, Again.

Termimal 3 at Beijing Capital Airport is huge.
That's the operating premise here in China these days. Bigger, faster, better.

Well, they have the "bigger" part down. We'll have to wait until after August to see how the rest of it plays out.

One thing they haven't improved (and they *really* need to work on it), is air conditioning in public spaces like airports and other large-volume indoor spaces.
Sitting inside T3, it is 85 degrees and probably 90% humidity.
By the time I get on the plane I will be a perspiring miserable old man.
I weep for the unknowing fool that crosses me in the next 20 hours.

On the road again...

TBG, a little traveling music...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Sitting Duck

Beijing Food Porn



The one memorable meal I've had in Beijing on this trip was the night we went to Da Dong Roast Duck Restaurant.
Memorable for a good reason, that is... I remember Friday's Cheesy Cheeseburger...and the 3:00AM indigestion. A hard-learned lesson.



On previous trips to Beijing I have gone to other Roast Duck places with good results, but Stass the CodeMonkey and Craig from NBC said Da Dong prides itself on having the leanest Peking Duck available.
(Me? I like lean meat as much as the next lowai, but y'know, there's nothing wrong with a little duck fat between friends. Heh.)

So... We went to Da Dong...
(And every time I say the name I can only hear Long Duck Dong from the movie "Sixteen Candles" saying "Da Donger need food!")

Craig, having had the pleasure of dining here before, did the ordering...


Craig, Captain Jia, and Yours Truly...
Yes, I know... Don't faint. Yes, that's a beer in front of me.
No... There wasn't a bottle of Capt. Morgan for miles around.
You gotta do what you gotta do.


Scallops... Some of the best scallops I've ever had. Truly amazing.

I missed getting pics of some of the dishes... The boys were hungry and the food what was sot before us was quickly consumed with the gusto of a hound dog...


The grilled eel was awesome too...

I missed the bamboo shoots and the dragon beans, and the fried prawns were only on the table a few seconds before disappearing completely.

There were 7 of us... We ordered 3 roast ducks.
We could probably have gotten away with only ordering 2... Some of the guys weren't really duck aficionados... Barbarians.

The Duck Cutters went to town, carving the birds quickly and efficiently...

Beijing Duck Slicing Machine

The finished product...

Take a Chinese tortilla, a little hosin sauce, some duck meat, some celery and/or scallion and wrap it up like a Beijing Fajita...
(Sorry, no pics of that. Maybe next time.)

And the delicacy...

Some neck meat and...

...How about a little head with your dinner?

(Jaden, get your mind out of the gutter.)

This meal went a long way to dampen the memory of the debacle of the Beijing TGIFridays and dinner at Domino's Pizza in Wuzhou.

I want to go back to Quan Ju De and compare duck fat content...
Purely for research, of course. For the betterment of mankind.

I know... Such self-sacrifice.
The things I do to improve life for my fellow man.
Hard living...But someone has gotta do it.

TBG, just ducky.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

"Hey, you! Out of the Gene Pool!

You *must* be kidding me.

"A woman called Orem police Friday afternoon needing help because her battery died and she was locked inside her car.

When police arrived, they found the woman sitting in the car...."

Original story

Is it just me or should the rescue crew just left her there?
Anyone unable to cope with the door locks on the car shouldn't be driving.

I'm just saying...

TBG, coping with technology-

Beijing Pizza Kitchen

"The Tree" in Sanlitun has a big wood-fired pizza oven in the middle of the dining room.
Too cool for words.


We (SMSH, DaveK, Erich & Ty) ate here one night last week.. the pizza was outstanding.

TBG- Who needs CPK?

Sanlitun

"A Little High"... Hmmmm.
I guess those hookahs are classified as "artwork" or "novelties" or even "marital aids"...



TBG, remembering a hookah in Crete...

Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Great (fire) Wall of China

This is getting to be a monumental pain in the ass.

Chinese ISPs have locked out access to several domains including blogger and blogspot.com. Even my anonymizer isn't working anymore...
I can post pics by MMS messaging, and post basic text messages by e-mail, but I can't get to my gallery or the Blogger editor page.
Maybe Shanghai will be better.

TBG, semi-incommunicado.

I'm not telling him. You tell him!

I just spent 40 minutes trying to get checked in for my flight to Shanghai...

40 minutes.

There were many ID checks and e-ticket verifications. Lots of different China Eastern Air employees would come and chat with the girl who was assisting me with my flight.

They would come over, look at my ticket, look at the screen, look at me, look back at the ticket, then a long conversation would ensue. The new person would depart and the poor girl would get a look of helplessness on her face, tell me "maiwenti" and the cycle would start over.

Having flown domestic airlines in China I have learned to value of patience and persistence.
I calmly waited at the counter.

Finally a Suit showed up, went through the same song and dance then finally addressed me.

Suit: Ah, very sorry. Your flight. It is...cancel.

(Long pause -waiting for my reaction)

I shrugged my shoulders. China Eastern has hourly flights to Shanghai. No big deal.

TBG: No flight at 10? Can you put me on 5108 at 11 o'clock?

Suit: Oh, maiwenti, maiwenti, no problem!

A quick conversation with the check-in girl and I was on my way...



Am I that scary, that they are afraid to give me bad news?



TBG, hanging at Beijing Capital Airport-

Friday, June 13, 2008

Teapot Depot

I took Ty and SpongeMark to Panjiayuan Market on Saturday morning...
Ty had a car coming to the Hotel for him at 1:15 and SM's car was scheduled for 3:30.
(I was riding with Mark to the Airport in order to drop off equipment at the FieldShop... Easier to deal with it on Saturday than to try to play Musical Equipment Cases on Tuesday when I get back from Shanghai.
We strolled the market for a couple hours in a cool drizzling rain...



I'm going to link to some of Mark's photos from the trip...

Everything went well, even the "interesting" ride back to the hotel...
The traffic in Beijing is horrible, but just like everywhere else, rain really screws everything up.

TBG out-

Can you hear the arteries clogging?

Because a TGIFriday's cheeseburger isn't bad enough for you in it's original state...
Let's throw a big slab of fried mozzarella on it along with some semi-cooked "bacon".



It was horrific.
The heartburn set in at about 3:30 in the morning...
I had to dig into my emergency kit and find the bottle of Tums.
(Thank Ghod I had them with me.)

Never again.

TBG out-

Wow

TBG to a souvenir hawker: "Bu yao!" (I don't want!)
Spongemark: "...with a side of Johnson."

Ask an LPGA guy...

TBG

Overheard in Beijing

In the car on the way to Mutianyu...

Mark: I think I should put the strap on.
(Pause)
Jay: That's what she said.

--------

Common question from people that I was told could help me with some aspect of our project:

"Can someone else help you?"

Or sometimes:
"Let me call someone else to help you. Then I will call you back."
Which means "If I can get you off the phone maybe you will call someone else when you get tired of waiting for me to call you back."

TBG- TCB

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Wall, Great

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Wait... What?

TBG: Where's Stass?
SpongeMark: He left. Said something about the end of the world...

Huh?

Beverage of Choice

Captain Morgan? No.
Gecko Seahorse booze, yes.
Cobra Scorpion hooch, for sure.

To each his own, I guess.

The 4' 10" proprietor of the liquor store made it clear that he could go toe-to-toe with me if he did a shot of either one.

If he *did* take a snort of either one of those I wouldn't tussle with him...
It's bad luck to punch crazy people.



TBG, not drinking? Heaven forbid!

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Heads Up

On the street in Beijing you have to watch out for widowmakers like this little jewel that Stass and David are about to get intimate with.



...and there are about 5 or 6 of these within a few blocks of the hotel.

It pays to keep your head up when strolling Wanzhou...

TBG, in self-preservation mode...

Sundown Over National Stadium

Out of Context

The first Beijing OOC quote:

Stass: "Every day has a happy ending."

TMI, dude. I really don't need to know that much about your habits.

TBG out-

Friday, June 06, 2008

Mmm. Breakfast.

Braving food poisoning, I hit the breakfast buffet at the Crowne Plaza.
Last time I was at a big chain hotel in Beijing I got the worst case of food poisoning... 24 hours of pure hell...
Since it will be a long day at the field shop, I figured I'd fuel the machine...

All kinds of goodies at the buffet- cold cuts, fresh fruit, cereals, eggs prepared the way the pan-flipper wants, regardless of how you order them- it's comedy gold to watch a Brit guest order scrambled then watch the chef hand him 2 over easy. Hilarity ensues.

More goodies:
Free-range waffles, French toast made with the worst bread ever broiled, miso, fried noodles, mackerel, 3 kinds of dim sum, a do-it-yourself Natto bar (Ghod save us), 5 kinds congee (red bean with century egg is quite good) and a pickled vegetable bar with some great kimchi.

(Sorry about the poor Crackberry picture.)



TBG, hungry.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Lovely

14 hour flight, sitting next to the bathroom.
At least I'll have some legroom...
This is going to be fun.

TBG, reaching for the Ambien...

Cup of Brown

Greetings Constant Readers...
I'm off to Beijing to several fun-filled days
of testing for the 2008 Olympics.

No doubt there will be all manner of frivolity and shenanigans.
Keep an eye on this space for full coverage.

In the mean time, check out MC Elemental:

"When I say 'herbal', you say 'no thanks'..."


Elemental - Cup Of Brown Joy from Moog on Vimeo.

TBG - looking for a cuppa...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

STFU Award

From a speech yesterday, Memorial Day, in New Mexico...



It's in the first 10 seconds:

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."
Hey, dumbass... you seeing dead people now?
Well, I guess since you're from Chicago you'll follow the long-standing Illinois tradition of having the dead people voting for you too...

Of course, the Glowbama campaign would have you believe that their man doesn't make mistakes...

Abracadabra!

Obama '08

No more screw up.

Powerful man... He can raise the dead and change the past.

For all this... Obama gets this week's Shut The Fuck Up Award.


TBG out-

Monday, May 26, 2008

I'm tired tired tired of these assholes...

Buckle up, Constant Readers... I spent 4 hours in Pittsburgh International and Charlotte International Airports yesterday watching Fox News and reading conservative websites...



"Most of what Congress is constitutionally authorized to spend for is listed in Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution and includes: coining money, establish Post Offices, to support Armies and a few other activities. Today’s federal budget is over $3 trillion dollars. I challenge anyone to find specific constitutional authority for at least $2 trillion of it. That includes Social Security, Medicare, farm and business handouts, education, prescription drugs and a host of other federal expenditures. Americans who have become accustomed to living at the expense of another American would not want Congress to obey the Constitution, especially if it left out their favorite handout.” —Walter Williams

I've had plenty of time the last week or so to catch up on Current Events and the talking heads that are tracking the election for me...
I was watching Brit Hume and his “panel of experts” (Krauthammer, Kondracke and Barnes) talking about taxes, and tax rates, and tax receipts, and the gyrations of Congress, and the doublespeak of presidential candidates last week...

Synopsis:
It's all bullshit, and I’m sick of it, and sick of the candidates.

Most of all, I’m sick of Congress taking far more than it needs, and giving it to special interest groups and pork barrel political friends, and upon rare occasion doling back to us the dribs and drabs of their largess at their whim.

“Letting the Bush tax cuts expire... will be the largest increase in personal income taxes since World War II... The tax code changes enacted in 2001 and 2003 are scheduled to expire at the end of 2010. If they do, statutory marginal tax rates will rise across the board; ranging from a 13% increase for the highest income households to a 50% increase in tax rates faced by lower-income households. The marriage penalty will be reimposed and the child credit cut by $500 per child. The long-term capital gains tax rate will rise by one-third (to 20% from 15%) and the top tax rate on dividends will nearly triple (to 39.6% from 15%). The estate tax will roar back from extinction at the same time, with a top rate of 55% and an exempt amount of only $600,000. Finally, the Alternative Minimum Tax will reach far deeper into the middle class, ensnaring 25 million tax filers in its web.” —John Cogan and R. Glenn Hubbard - The Coming Tax Bomb - WSJ

Hey America- That sucking noise you hear? Yeah- that's your (Democratic) Government hoovering up every possible cent it can bleed from you.
As for Obama's "Change you can believe in"... That will be the only money you have left... some small change. Get ready to start scouring the floorboards of your car and the under the sofa cushions for that "Change" so you can buy groceries, because your government will have most of your paycheck.


Here’s what we need:

1. A flat federal tax rate of 15% for all individuals;
No exceptions, No bullshit.
2. Capital gains tax of 5%;
3. No more inheritance taxes and no alternative minimum taxes;
4. A flat no-exceptions-whatsoever federal tax rate of 5% on sales after expenses (salaries and rents mostly) for corporations.

We've all talked of taxes in the past (national sales tax, graduated universal rates, etc) and in the end I have come to realize that none of it is going to work. Too complicated, too many caveats, and too many ways for We The People to get shafted in new and exciting ways by Them the Politicians/Accountants.

So it’s time to make it simple.

How much did you earn last year? $X
Your tax bill: $0.15X

How much did you earn from investments last year? $Y
Your tax bill: $0.05Y

What were your corporation’s sales last year, after paying salaries and rents? $Z million
Your tax bill: $0.05Z

I don’t want to hear about how the government can’t operate on only a 15% tax rate. In fact, I’m sick and tired of hearing about the government needing this and that.
I need transportation- I get a car I can afford based on my paycheck and expenses.
I can't go to my boss and say:
"Hey Jim. I've decided after careful consideration and research that the best, safest car I can get is a GasSucker Utility Vehicle Mk II, so I need a big fat raise to get one. And I'll need even more because I need to buy more gas to run the big bastard."
Guess what he'd tell me?

Like all the rest of us, it’s time Congress learned to live within its means—and the only reason I suggested a 15% tax rate instead of a 10% tax rate is because things like interstate highways and carrier groups are Good Things. No deficits except in times of national crisis—and we get to decide what constitutes a crisis, not Congress.
Personally, however, I’d go for a flat 20% until we get the deficit down, and then step it down through 15% until we get a reserve, then down to 10%, IF we can ge it down to 10% - I won’t swear we CAN. There ARE two things I’d give a tax break to - Education (REAL Education, not this BS we get now) and BASIC SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH, on ALL FRONTS - the real push-the-frontiers-back stuff. None of this pseudo-science stuff either, like ‘do carrots scream when we cut the tops off before steaming them’.
I might be persuaded to entertain the notion for sole federal funding by sales tax. If you wanted to pay less tax, don’t buy as much.
BUT sure as hell I don’t trust those bastards to introduce a national sales tax and simultaneously drop income tax. What would most likely happen is that we’d be stuck with TWO ways to tax us, and neither would ever be repealed.

Military spending?
Want to fight a war- Sell bonds, just like you used to have to do in the old days. When the war becomes unpopular, then Johnny’ll have to come marching home.

Privatize NASA. End of story.

Don’t get me started on Social Security. That sucker should be taken out to the pond and have it's head held under until it stops kicking.
Privatize it, now.
If the assholes in Congress and White House policy wonks are unable to figure it out, ask Chile to send some of their folks here as consultants.

And speaking of foreigners: end all this foreign aid bullshit, Right Fucking NOW, starting with the United Nations.
We’re heading for a financial crisis in this country, and this is no time to be hosting cocktail parties with taxpayer money. Lending or giving money (especially to your enemies) when you yourself are in debt is the height of stupidity. It’s as true for nations as it is for individuals. The west does not win friends when we throw our money at the socialists and savages of the third world. They just take the money, laugh and see us as weak and deluded, further strengthening their will to destroy us. We need to be respected and feared.

Just FYI-
Below are the actual voting records of various Arabic/Islamic states which are recorded in both the US State Department and United Nations records:
Kuwait votes against the United States 67% of the time
Qatar votes against the United States 67% of the time
Morocco votes against the United States 70% of the time
United Arab Emirates votes against the U. S. 70% of the time.
Jordan votes against the United States 71% of the time.
Tunisia votes against the United States 71% of the time.
Saudi Arabia votes against the United States 73% of the time.
Yemen votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Algeria votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Oman votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Sudan votes against the United States 75% of the time.
Pakistan votes against the United States 75% of the time.
Libya votes against the United States 76% of the time.
Egypt votes against the United States 79% of the time.
Lebanon votes against the United States 80% of the time.
India votes against the United States 81% of the time.
Syria votes against the United States 84% of the time.
Mauritania votes against the United States 87% of the time.

U S Foreign Aid to those that hate us:
Egypt, for example, after voting 79% of the time against the United States, still receives $2 billion annually in US Foreign Aid.

Jordan votes 71% against the United States and receives $192,814,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.

Pakistan votes 75% against the United States receives $6,721,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.

India votes 81% against the United States receives $143,699,000 annually.

Does this piss you off as much as it does me?

Life is getting far too complicated, and far too expensive, when it should be easy, just like ordinary life would be if we weren’t giving a third of our wages over to be pissed down the drain by our so-called government. Right now, I wouldn’t trust government with the wife of my worst enemy. Or vice-versa, a la Hillary &Bill. I shudder to think.

I've said it before- Giving money to the government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys...

We need to tighten our belts, live within our means, and quit all the pork and other shit that Congress ladles out like it’s found money.

We’ve been spending like there’s no tomorrow. Well, tomorrow is here y'all, and unless we recognize that fact and quit farting around with discussions of subsidies and hedge funds and tax breaks and hoping for a visit from the Money Fairy, we’re all, each and every one of us, going to get fucked harder than a $5 hooker during Fleet Week.

TBG out-

Out of Context, Northern Ohio

Time: 1:25am Sunday 5/25
Location: Somewhere near the Ohio / Pennsylvania border on I-80.

NHL Guy 1: Hey... Are your nuggets hot?

NHL Guy 2: Yeah...wait..what?

TBG: Yuk. Too Much Information.

TBG out-

Friday, May 16, 2008

Requiescat in Pace



Miss Ellie, we will all miss you.