The (un) Usual Suspects

These photos speak for themselves.

What they are saying is a totally different matter...

Yours Truly as Mikhail Gorbachev

The spot on my oh-so-expansive forehead is my new hood ornament where I hit my head exiting the bus yesterday morning. Note the cleaning crew/highwire act in the background.

And K-Flan's Cred Photo...


How is this guy NOT in prison?

The hits just keep on coming...

TBG out-

Back to Shanghai, again.

Dateline Shanghai



Hi Constant Readers...
Well... we made it. It wasn't pretty, though, and as I said in the previous post, Northwest Airlines is on my shit list.
The trip to Detroit was passable. I even got an upgrade, but oddly enough, for a 8AM flight there was no breakfast.
Ken and I fixed that... We hit the Fox Skybox at DTW and had a bite... About 45 minutes before the Detroit-Narita flight, we heard the overhead page go off for a last call for our flight... we hit the ground running and got to the gate in time...

Northwest's seat map is somewhat misleading... my seat was a bulkhead with absolutely no legroom... they stuck a bathroom in the space between the seat and the exit door, so no leg room. Bastards. They don't show a restroom on the seat map...

Add to that, an unwashed old Chinese woman who was an absolute pain, and I was starting to dread the next 13 hours...
Fortunately, Saint Joseph of Cupertino, (patron Saint of flyers) interceded on my behalf, or so I thought...

The captain (not, alas, Captain Morgan) came on the overhead...
They were having difficulties with the landing gear door... The captain said they were going to "try a maintenance maneuver" to fix the problem...
They gave the plane a mighty shake and then a few minutes later he came back on and said they had fixed one problem but in doing so, they had caused a new problem with the other set of landing gear... They gave the plane another shake, then came back on... they couldn't get it fixed so we were heading back to Detroit...
Uh oh...
Well, I wasn't too concerned about making my connection... Flight 11 *was* the connection flight from Narita to Shanghai, so I figured as long as we were on this flight, we wouldn't miss our connection.
(so very, very wrong)
So, after we dumped a huge amount of jetfuel into Lake Michigan we made our way back to DTW...a 3 and a half hour false start...

As we were heading back, they were prepping another plane for us... I guess they had a spare 747-400 laying around...
We got back on the ground then 'Neck and I made our way to the new gate. That's when they told us there was no way we'd be in Shanghai any time soon. We'd all have to spend the night in Tokyo and they'd re-book us on a new flight to Shanghai the next the morning.

So we stood in line to confirm our seats on the flight...
(I changed mine to get away from the old lady with B.O.... I got an aisle seat about 8 rows back.)
Ken decided he wanted to change his seat too, and wound up getting my old seat. Poor bastard, had I know I would have warned him... He regretted his decision about 30 minutes into the next flight. Heh.
My new seat wasn't so bad... As we got seated, I suggested to the guy in front of me that if he leaned his seat back on my knees I would visit bodily harm upon him, and oddly enough, he never adjusted his seat through the whole flight...smart dude.

The guys next to me were some Japanese college students- about 6 guys traveling together heading home from Harvard. They were inoffensive at best... No problems really.
At one point early in the flight I saw Ken had exited his seat near The Smelly One... He was camped out near the emergency exit reading a Clive Cussler novel...I went up and chatted with him for a few minutes. Appearently it was self-preservation, she was bugging him so much, having him pronounce words in Engrish for her... He was ready to take her for a swim in the blue water in the airplane bathroom.
With a silent chuckle, I headed back to my seat and settled down for the long haul.

We got into Tokyo without too much more in the way of issues... No other specific death threats, no violence.

Nice Engrish there, Skippy.

You will notice the "no camera" sign in this photo...

Upon arrival we got more bad news. We were informed that we would not be able to get our bags... I was of two minds about it... I didn't relish the thought of schlepping the cases & bags through Narita and to the hotel, nor the thought of having to clear Japan customs and get the Carnet stamped, and then having to get them re-stamped the next morning... The down side was they we'd have to wear the same clothes and have no access to our other stuff... Oh well... Convenience vs. comfort...

So we stood in line in the Narita terminal to get our new flight info- a JAL flight at
9:30 in the morning, and our hotel vouchers. After that we got to stand in line to go through the immigration and passport check...Then we stood in line again to get our transportation voucher to get to the hotel, then we stood in line to check into the Raddison in Narita.


K-Flan in line at the Raddison

We stood in line to get breakfast, and we stood in line to get on the bus to go back to the airport, and we stood in line to get checked back in on the new flight...
A slight hitch occured at the JAL check-in.. Of course I'm going to ask for a bulkhead or an emergency row. There was a look of fear in the ticket clerk's eyes as The Redneck and I stood at the counter waiting for our seat assignments...
There were no bulkheads, no emergency rows... and no windows or aisles either. Nothing but center seats...I think they were expecting a more, um, violent reaction, but at that time we so tired from the run around and standing in line and we just wanted to get our tickets and go stand in line some more to get on the JAL flight.

Bad enough that we both had middle seats on the JAL flight...
It was adding insult to injury that the seats on the JAL 747 were more sized to fit the average Japanese ass, whereas I am possessing of a more-then-ample American-sized ass...
And of course the seat spacing was more adapted to a Japanese leg-length; as a consequence the 3 hour flight from Narita to PuDong was *the* most uncomfortable I have been on an airplne in, oh...say... *ever*.


Tight fit.

My size 13 ass in a size 10 seat, no where to put my knees, and the top of the headrest on the back of the seat caught me right between the shoulderblades...

You will NOT have to remind me never to ride coach on JAL ever again.

We got into Pudong around 2:30... I was a bit worried that our bags would be delayed or lost; That worry was back-burnered quickly when we saw there were about 800 people in line to clear customs... It was the longest line we'd had to stand in so far, and it was a doozy.
It ended up taking over 90 minutes just to clear C&I in Shanghai. As a matter of fact, we actually bailed on the "Foreigners" line and stood behind some Indian nationals in the "Chinese Only" line...

All our bags made it... Miracles of miracles...
The only other comment I have on the situation is that at at least I have a finally encountered a situation where the elapsed time from getting off the plane to the time of getting our bags was longer than the average time to get baggage in Jacksonville...
(not because of a delay in getting bags, but because it took two hours to get from the plane to the baggage claim. But a record is a record... The folks at JAX will be pleased that there is a new title holder in that category.)

We cleared the ATA Carnet customs inspection and after one last bout of standing in line to get a taxi, we finally made it to the hotel...


'Neck in the taxi...

Now the real strangeness begins...

TBG out-

It's gonna be ugly...

Many lines of ranting to come about this trip, kids...

To give you an idea, I'm stuck in Narita Japan, enroute to Shanghai.

Northwest Airlines is on my shit list.

Whilst I write, y'all go celebrate Guy Fawkes Day or something...




Remember, remember, the fifth of November!


TBG out-

My one-time obligatory election season post...

First and foremost-
Get off your ass and vote.

I really don't care WHO you vote for, but for cryin' out loud, get out there and do it.

If you don't, you have no right to bitch and moan about how poorly the country is being run, or what a jerk this-or-that politician is... Do something about it.

One of my favorite authors, Robert A. Heinlein, had this comment about voting:
"If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for...but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong. If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. Then vote the other way. This enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time on it that truly intelligent exercise of franchise requires."
"Time Enough for Love" 1973, R.A. Heinlein

So... Get out there and vote.

Second-

“I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted to wrongly imply anything negative about those in uniform.” — Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.)
apologizing for his "poorly stated joke" in a written statement

What is he saying?
(Not that what Kerry says matters so much, but it is typical of (all) politicians to twist and spin when they screw up)

• I'm sorry you can't take a joke.
• I'm sorry that uneducated soldiers can't take a joke.
• I'm relieved that a carefully crafted denial will diffuse any lingering stigma of my poorly-worded attempt at humor at the cost of the current administration.
• I'm sorry I had to resort to poor attempts at humor to get people to listen to me.

---------------

If you've been living under a rock the last few days,Kerry stuck his foot in his mouth when he told a group of California students that individuals who don't study hard and do their homework would likely "get stuck in Iraq."

What was the 2004-election-losing senator (yes, he lost...) from Massachusetts doing talking to California students anyway? It seems like California, the quintessential-leftist Democratic state is about to re-elect their Republican governor. I guess the Democrats need to pull out all the botox-injected stops to woo voters.
I guess they don't believe the ha-ha-ha "Unbiased" media who are all predicting a wholesale slide to the left come Tuesday.

News from the Left:
"Democrats have privately told outsiders they have locked up 10 of the 15 GOP-held seats they need. Polls indicate several dozen additional races are competitive, far more than appeared possible at the outset of the campaign, and too many for Republican comfort at a time of opposition to the war and low presidential approval ratings at home.

In the Senate, Democrats claim they are on track to defeat four Republican incumbents, including Sens. Mike DeWine in Ohio, Rick Santorum in Pennsylvania, Lincoln Chafee in Rhode Island and Conrad Burns in Montana. Republicans tacitly concede DeWine and Santorum appear headed for defeat, but the party's senatorial committee has launched television commercials in the campaign's final week in an attempt to save Chafee and Burns.

Barring a dramatic shift in opinion in the campaign's final days, that leaves only a handful of races in significant doubt, principally three Republican-held seats in Tennessee, Missouri and Virginia."

Now, I might be wrong, but this is OPINION and CONJECTURE...not NEWS.

It ain't over until it's over... Get your asses out there and vote, otherwise a much-too-small sampling of special interest groups will be deciding for you.

As for John Kerry and his "joke"...
Aides said the senator had mistakenly dropped one word from his prepared remarks, which was originally written to say "you end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq." In that context, they said, it was clear Kerry was referring to Bush, not to the troops.
Took them 2 days to spin it... But again, what are they saying?

"If you don't study hard and do your home work, you end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq."
So, poor students will become Republican presidents?
Californian students have poor study habits but will still do well politically?
Good students will never become president?

I give up.

GO VOTE.

TBG out-

Because my cholesterol isn't high enough yet...

Fried Coke.

Famazing, out-

Busy Weekend

It was a barnburner of a weekend here in North Florida this past weekend.
We started with Trep blowing back through the area after his pilgrimage to Brunswick Ga.
We caught a quick lunch at Chili's up on Duval Rd, near The Worst Airport in the World, then we headed over to the Jacksonville Gun Club and proceeded to empty an entire case (250 rounds) of 12 gauge shotgun shells...


Trep- armed and dangerous


Station 8; Half the reaction time...and he still hit the target!

We shot several rounds of skeet and trap...and we learned that shooting at fast moving, small clay targets is completely different than using a shotgun to break down a door, or standing sentry over a group of Cuban Refugees.


April 2004 - Proper shotgun technique. Danica's Ponytail-and-M16 is not bad either...

We parted company after a fun afternoon of destruction and depravity- and it should be noted, just for the record, that The Captain did not join in the festivities...
It was a conscious effort, just to prove that it is possible to have a fun afternoon with firearms without alcoholic beverages...

Anyone who knows anything at all about NCAA football knows this was Florida-Georgia Weekend here in Jacksonville...

The Woman Who Knows Most Things is a Georgia graduate, whereas I have ties to that shithole of a school in Gainesville...
TWWKMT's friends tend to make more of a big deal about the game, only because they have been on the losing side of the stick more often than not in recent history.
That doesn't keep them from coming down and partying over the weekend...
I try to avoid the entire thing if I possibly can... I'm much happier if I can watch it from the comfort of a bar, or better yet, in my humble abode.
It would take alot to get me to actually go down to the stadium and voluntarily mix it up with the crowds at Alltel Stadium... I pretty much stay out at the Beaches if at all possible.
Less chance of being involved in, or causing an Incident.

So, TWWKMT's friends and kin come down...
Some family (neice and SO) came down from Atlanta and spent some quality family time with TWWKMT and the PC; We also hosted TWWKMT's friend from her days at UGA, Robert and his SO, Allison, who came down from the NY/NJ area...


Robert Allison (right) and his current flame, Allison Katz (left).
Nope, that's not a typo.

And of course, the Perfect Child will cheer for anyone, given the opportunity to go to a football game... Here she is in her UGA Bulldog regalia...





Too cool to associate with mere mortals...

What was I doing on Saturday afternoon?
Cooking, of course...Bar-b-qued beef, Cuban subs, fried chicken fingers, and Key Lime Pie... tasty fare for the die-hard fans that braved the crowds and travails of attending the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.
(And there is no way anyone will ever change that perception.)
I sat watching horror movies on AMC all afternoon, occasionally checking the score of the game, waiting for The Fans to return from the inevitable Gator victory.

The Georgia fans retreated with the oft-repeated mantra- "Wait 'til next year!"

Yeah- Whatever.

Famous, out-

Ruminations

1. Yo! P-Squared!
Be advised... Just because I haven't retaliated yet, doesn't mean I'm not going to...
I collect my debts...with interest.
You might want to have someone else start your car for the next few days...
And don't start reading any long books or novels.

2. Just some thoughts that have been building up in the
"To be Blogged" file...

• The # 2 pencil is by far the most popular pencil out on the market.
  Why is it still #2?
  
  
• Wal-Mart bashing #1:
  Have you been to Wal-Mart lately?
  You have to weigh 300 pounds to get the automatic doors to open.
  
  
• Wal-Mart bashing #2:
  If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?
  
  
• There is a solution to everything:
  One of the developers at the company I work for has a watch that is
  3 hours slow. It can't be fixed, so instead, he's moving to California.
  
  
• There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot".
  
  
• IDS travel rule #4:
  A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
  
  
• I'm a little concerned about teaching Hunter to be polite and courteous...
  When she grows up, she'll never be able to edge her car onto the freeway.
  
  
• When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
  
  
• Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
  
  
• If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven't met everybody.
  
  
• From the "Danny Rollins deserved it" department:
  Capital punishment isn't for making examples, it's for making bad people dead.
  
  
• Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
  
  
• My mind is like a steel trap - rusty, and illegal in 37 states.
  
  And finally:
• Follow your dreams.
  (Except for that one where you're naked at work.)
  

Famous, out-

The End of Florida

...it never fails.
You do something funny and some idiot will copy you.

(Warning- NSFW-Language)
The End of Florida



You need to have seen the previous post to really appreciate this...

Famous out-

The end of the world

The End of The World


Just a little something I stole from the Myspace video section...

Enjoy-

Famous, out.

Oh dear... Not again.

I got an e-mail from my friend Trep...
"Hey man, I'm passing through your area on Sunday- Lets do dinner or something."

Well, haven't seen Trep in over a year because of disparities in our travel and work schedules. I missed seeing him by one day back in July; He was sliding into home as I was on the seaplane heading out, and prior to that is was like... July of 2005?
So aside from buying pornographic action figures and WWF memorabilia for him and leaving them in his quarters (where I stayed while he was TDY elsewhere) we've been chatting via e-mail.


Little Red Riding Hood?


So, when the opportunity to sit and shoot (heh) the breeze for a while arises, the occasion is not to be wasted.
After a few phone calls and some minor planning, Sunday afternoon found us in a local (Jacksonville) sports bar, telling war stories and catching up on the Coconut Telegraph- island news, gossip on our friends and those not-so-friendsome, discussions of ballistics and edged-weapon offensive techniques...you know, fun stuff.

As we were drinking with the Captain, (and you know the Captain always urges one to "Drink Responsibly, Captain's Orders! wink wink") things were deteriorating rapidly...


Is there a little Captain in you?

Conversation went from a discussion of small arms and bladed weapons to takedown techniques and demonstrations (aided by a oh-so-willing waitress in a cheerleader outfit), to an impromptu display of WWF wrestling moves, including one particularly impressive coreography involving two pool cues, an orange traffic cone, a dozen Buffalo wings and a garden hose, performed barefoot and wearing a waitress's thong panties as an eyepatch that was a real crowd favorite.
For such a big guy, Trep is suprisingly graceful...

...And not unlike last week in Germany, where a couple of us fell into a lens grinding machine in the eyeglass factory, we were making a specatcle of ourselves at the bar.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, (and how many times have I said that whilst sitting in a holding cell or in front of a judge?!) that we should endeavor to test the first-responder time for the Jacksonville Sheriffs Office...

Good idea? Yeah...No, not so much.

And try as we might, all efforts at getting a call into the JSO were naught... Trep did a body shot of tequila off a somewhat recalcitrant waitress...
(Initially she was very indignant, but it seemed like her sense of injured decorum was a bit feigned, since she later clandestinely passed Trep her phone number scribbled on a napkin...)

Wanting to go him one better, I pulled the infamous "Double Offensive": I picked out a couple that was watching the Houston game, a guy almost big as I am with a huge walrus moustache that looked he might have played for the Houston Texans at one time; Ms. Moustache was, let's say, overly well endowed, and I'll have to give her credit- at least all of her (exposed) tattoos were spelled correctly...

"Hey Moustache!... Hold my drink while I do a shot out of your daughter's cleavage." I said, handing off my beverage to the amazed ex-linebacker. Trep watched for the bartender to make a move for the phone or the Moustache to pull out a weapon.
Alas, it was not to be... The bartender poured a double shot of Dirty Sanchez tequila and Ms. Moustache willingly, nay, eagerly nestled the shot glass in her decolletage. (For the benefit of our Constant Readers in North Florida, that'd be between her boobs.)



In a series of graceless movements, I snorted a line of salt up one nostril, squeezed the juice of a half a lime into my left eye and slurped the tequila, most of it soaking my beard and moustache and Ms. Moustache's tank top.

Unfortunately, it did not have the desired effect of a barroom brawl and/or a visit from Jacksonville's Finest. The Moustache cheered the effort then ordered another round of tequila for everyone in earshot in celebration (of what, I have no idea), and one of the Moustache's compatriots prattled off unintelligibly for a few moments, waving a cocktail napkin in one hand and a empty martini glass in the other, gesturing at Ms. Moustache and then me...
As he finished I got the impression we were either married, divorced, or we had been ordained clergy in Great Greasy Gonads Church and Pediatric Hospital...
I never found out exactly what kind of degree had been conferred, as the Bishop quickly passed out and slipped into a coma.

Trep looked at me through eyes so bloodshot they looked like two baseballs made from lean bacon...
"Lissen, Big Guy... Nex time the Saints score a touchdown" he said, indicating the screen behind the bar "I'm going to pull one of my signature show stoppers- if this doesn't rate a call to 911, nothing does."

As the score changed on the screen in the NOLA/Philly game, Trep up-ended his drink, then reached over the bar and took the bottle of Captian Morgan out of the well, splashed a little in his hand then dabbed the alcohol behind each ear, like he was using Eau de Ruhm...

"Here goes nothin'..."

I stepped back from the bar, knowing it wasn't going to be pretty- The bartender was finally dialing the phone.

Trep stood atop the bar in a lime green speedo and a t-shirt reading "Baaaaa means Noooo!", a Cuban cigar in one hand, the bottle of Captain Morgan in the other annointing the crowd; he was reciting "Beowulf", in old English of course, as he urinated on the collective heads of the Moustache and his compadres... Trep was juggling 3 billiard balls as he finished singing the last stanza of the Saga; On the closing notes, he sailed the balls over his shoulder into the mirror on the bar-back, shattering the glass...
The crowd, including the management and the wait staff cheered and requested an encore.
(With one waiter exhorting him to "Take it off, take it ALL off, Big Boy!")

The bartender was not calling 911... He was just ordering up another case of Captain Morgan from the bar manager.
He could tell it was going to be along night...

The cops were never called... We finally threw in the towel and sat back to finish watching the game and waited several hours for the alcohol to wear off before we headed to our respective vehicles; Me with a purloined bottle of Grey Goose in my shorts, Trep with a waitress under each arm.... Bastard.

Another wasted evening in North Florida.

Famous, out-

Köln, It's a wrap...or is it a wurst?

It was the best of wursts, it was the worst of wursts;

...and if I don't see another bratwurst for 6 months or so I wouldn't be disappointed.

Brats were everywhere...


Yes, dinner in Köln is vaguely obscene...


Man, the brats are everywhere...


Jeff "Phoneman" Tyler: "Leave me alone when I'm cuttin' my brat..."


Yes, everyone loves the wurst...

So... What did I have on a wurst-filled evening?

Pickled Herring...(I'm a sucker for marinated fish. Go figure.)
Sorry, no pic. It's even more suggestive than the brats...


And one last picture from the evening:

SchweinRider

---

Let's see... Elsewhere at Eurogames Live...


Scott Berman and David Munoz (keeper of the Evil Minions) and Kaiser Wilheim hard at work during Game 3.


All good things have to end eventually...

Breakdown was uneventful and after one more (very tame) evening in Köln, I made it back to Jax safe and sound. One german taxi ride, 2 flights and a quick trip down 9A and I was home.

---

Köln by the numbers:

1.5 - Price, in Euros, for a glass of beer just about everywhere in Köln.

2 - Triple shots of Bacardi 8 that I consumed in the hotel bar, after drinking 15 or 20 beers at some other random beergarden

4 - NBA games played in Köln

7 - Great people to work with: David, Jeff, Michael, James, Andrea, Ariana, and Brett

8 - Bulkhead row on a 757-200, which I shared with two of the most flamboyantly gay guys I have ever seen, let alone sat next to for 8 hours. There was so much lisping going on it sounded like steam escaping.

17 - Minutes, from the time I got off the plane to make it through immigration and get my bags in Köln

19 - Minutes, from the time I got off the plane to make it through immigration and get my bags re-checked for Jacksonville in Newark

44 - Number of beers consumed by James Stawecki, Jeff Tyler & Yours Truly in one sitting

49 - Minutes, from the time I got off the plane to get my bags in Jacksonville

107 - Network connections that David and his guys set up in the Kölnarena

240 - Volts, normal A/C wall current in Germany. Which is 20 more volts than a Dell desktop server can survive before the power supply blows up

1,265 - Credentials, most of which were created on one laptop after the server blew up and David, Michael & Andrea pulled an all-nighter to fix & play catch-up.

---

Really great lines from Köln:

What's that burning smell?

Früh? What the hell is a früh?

We need more beers... Bring us 12 more beers please.

Two color lasers, two laptops, two cameras, a Dell server and an ethernet switch. Yeah... No. Too many amps for this circuit.

Hi Dick... Dick, are you there?

They have specific player IDs for us to use? Were they planning on sending them to us sometime before the end of the 4th game?

For such a big man, you drink like a little girl...

All right... one more round of beers... Bring us ten more beers please.

---

So... NBA Eurogames Live is over for 2006...

One final pic from Köln

The Dom by night


Famous, out-

Webcam

Koln Cam... Kolnarena, Cologne Garmany.

Game day # 2

"Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
Were so glad you could attend
Come inside! come inside!
There behind a glass is a real blade of grass
Be careful as you pass.
Move along! move along!
Come inside, the shows about to start
Guaranteed to blow your head apart"
(Emerson Lake & Palmer - Karn Evil 9 - Just like back in Torino, Baby)

The second game is at 3:00 PM (EDT) today on ESPN; tune in and you can see Yours Truly sitting courtside calling stats for the game.
I'm the ogre sitting 4 seats left of center court...

I have a great view of the action, it's tough to call stats without it.

And, carrying on that long-time Listen2UncleJay tradition,
these are the obligatory Cheerleader/Dancer pictures.


Baby Got Back?


The Phoenix Suns Dancers


T-Shirt Toss 1


T-Shirt Toss 2

Glad we got that outta the way...

One thing about being at courtside is the horrible feeling that you're being watched. Nothing like a couple hundred people looking over your shoulder as your working...

The view directly behind me at gametime.

Just like living in a fishbowl... I couldn't do this on a nightly basis...

Oh well... Onward- through the fog.

Two games more games and it's a wrap.
Woohoo!

Famous, aus.

Cologne, Koln, Colon... Pick one...

It's been crazy this week in Germany.
Fortunately I'm only on the one-city gig, four games here in Koln, rather than the multi-city tours some of the NBA guys have been working. Poor bastards...

I got here with a minimum of difficulty- the plane from Newark to Koln was pretty empty- I had a bulkhead seat but changed at the last minute to an empty row... Marginally better, but biz class would have been mo' better.

Koln is a nice city-
They have the ever-present ornate cathedral in the middle of town, just like every other European city.

The Dom

Our hotel- (the Hyatt) is right on the Rhine river, and a short walk across the bridge puts us down in the bar/restaurant section of town...

The Hyatt- full moon rising

The NBA guys (and girls) take every opportunity to enjoy the local scene.


Ariana and Andrea (and the ever-present Crackberry)


M&M - Munoz & Martin


Chia Bret, or rather Non-chia Bret...

And this is what happens when you leave your digital camera unattended...

Kevin Breen - Self Portrait

---

More Fun on the Menu


I'm not sure *why* they are classifying it as "art".


And I KNOW this isn't art...

---

So, it's game day here at the Kolnarena...

I'm here at courtside waiting for Peter Skrodelis to show up with a roll of scotch tape and an e-mail that I neglected to reply to...
Last night during a spirited discussion (vodka was the spirit of choice) I was accused of ignoring a technical discussion via e-mail because I was too busy doing something trivial like, oh, sitting on an airplane or, Allah forbid, working at a non-NBA event...
If I got it and ignored it he said he'd print it out and tape it to my forehead...
If he didn't CC me on it, he's just going to put the tape there, but not the e-mail.
One way or another, I'm going to wind up with tape on my head.

The fun never stops here in Koln.

One more pic, just to round out the day...


Write your own caption.


Famous, out.

Skunks & Groupers & Brats (Oh my.)

Greetings Constant Readers...

I have a few goodies to share with you before tiffin...
(And we take tiffin pretty durn early in these parts, Buckaroo...)

First-
James B, known far and wide as The Skunk, maniacal sports boffin and surfer-dude has taken an option on some real estate in the Blogosphere...
I've worked with The Skunk and his Minions (especially Christo) at a couple US Open events during my tenure at IDS... He has an interesting (but very valid) take on some service vendors in our industry.
His rantings can be found at The Mighty Skunk. You can also find his business site here...

Welcome to the party, Skunk-man.

(And thanks to Spongemark for the tip...)

---

So...
I got the hankering for some fish the other night and decided instead of going to the local seafood joint, ordering grouper and getting some overpriced mystery fish, I'd make my own fried grouper.
I went up to Safe Harbor Seafood in Mayport and picked up a couple nice fillets at about half what the more convenient fish markets were charging....
They don't have a website that I could find, but listen to Uncle Jay: You want great shrimp or fish- go to Safe Harbor Seafood Market, 4378 Ocean St, up in Mayport.
(904 246-4911)

How'd I cook it?
A couple different ways...
A dusting of flour on the fillet, heat up butter and a tablespoon of canola oil in a heavy frying pan on Med-Hi heat, and pan fry for about 3 minutes on one side. Flip and fry for two more minutes and then check to see if it's done- toothpick in the thickest part of the fillet...
If there is any resistance going through the fillet it needs more time...
A squeeze of lime juice and a few capers thrown on at the last minute- and when you plate it, make sure you put some of the pan sauce on the top of the fillet...
Mmmmm!

Option two was deep fried grouper fingers...
(Bet you didn't know groupers had fingers, did ya?)
Cut the fillet into thick finger portions.
Mix some of your favorite seasoning and a cup or two of flour in a large zip-top bag...
Throw the the fingers in the bag, zip it up and shake to coat the fingers in flour.
beat two eggs in a wide shallow bowl and dip the fingers in the egg mixture, then dredge them in panko bread flakes...
(I get my panko at Publix in the international food section.)
Fry the fingers a few at a time in canola or peanut oil at 350 for 5 or 6 minutes.
Remove from the oil and let them dry and cool just a bit on a rack.
Don't stack them on top of each other immediately, or let them sit on paper towels; They'll just re-absorb any residual oil that is coming off the surface.
The panko is a great crust- the texture is amazing. And for leftovers, it reheats really well. Try the panko next time you fry some fish... Great stuff.

---

Bratwurst?
Well, you don't go looking for sushi in Germany...

So... I'm off to Koln.

The NBA is doing 4 games in Cologne Germany next week, so I'm off to make sure that all will be right in ESPN-world, and the overall scoring and stats for the game.
Looked at a calendar lately?
Can you say "Oktoberfest?"

Well... Constant Readers will know I'm not exactly a beer guy, and I'll probably be forced to drag along an emergency stash of Captain Morgan, but I can guarantee there will be some misbehavior in Koln next week.

And there will be photos.

Stay tuned.

Berühmt, aus!

Libel in the Blogosphere

Big Brother is watching what you write....



Read USA Today's article on libel in the Blogosphere...

End-of-week update.

It's been a busy week for Yours Truly...

I spent the leading edge of the week in New York with DanO from Big Ice and the Usual Suspects from IDS... A couple of the Usual Suspects, anyway. Some of the players were not in attendance at the meetings in Man-Hat-Tan, but overall it was a productive and insightful set o' meetings.


Lower Manhattan skyline as seen from Jersey City. (click for the larger view)

Wednesday had me at the RoundBall HQ in Secaucus... Ran into some old friends there, notably Jeff Pozz from Denver who departed the Pepsi Center with a song in his heart to move to New Joisey to work among the Evil Minions of Dave Munoz...
(Trading Denver for Jersey? What the hell are you thinking, Jeff?)

The trip back to Jacksonville was uneventful, and it only took 38 minutes for my bag to be delivered to the baggage claim in Jax. Things are not improving at Baggage Claim in Jax.

Some sample times from the last few trips...
Newark....13 minutes
Detroit......25 Minutes (Including Customs and Immigration check)
Shanghai...31 Minutes (Ditto)

Can't wait to see how it all goes in Koln next week.

Speaking of Koln, here's a little slice of how events conspire to make my life interesing...
We're doing an NBA gig in Koln Germany starting next week-
("Koln" is "Cologne" for the Constant Readers unfamiliar with the fact that foreigners don't know how to spell the names of their own cities correctly.)
Anyway- I had lined up a statistician to work the games there in Germany...
The guy I contracted is a little outspoken and a tad abrasive, but he's a helluva statistician, and one of the very few that can stat a game virtually alone. Most stats crews are comprised of 4 to 7 guys that are needed to keep up with the action.
Anyway- my guy was all lined up, ready to go, plane tickets purchased, took time off work and everything... Then the word comes down- He isn't permitted to go.
Apparently his outspokenness has alienated someone in The League along the way and he's blacklisted.

Great.
This is exactly the kind of complication that I need in my life.

These occasions, just like during a 13 hour plane trip in Coach class, are the times when I wonder if there is a local gas station that might need need someone to work the register and dip the tanks and make decisions no more complicated than "Fill 'er up?"

--------------------------------------------

Spend most of the day Thursday futzing with Shanghai videowall stuff...
Ken "Redneck" Flanagan is working on some tasty new software that will improve the graphics. We had a nice long operational demo... Looking good.
(Sorry- no pics. Proprietary stuff, eh?)

-----------------------------------------------

Friday.

The IDS Roundtable Group decided (weeks ago) that we were throwing a cookout... We usually do something after the end of the Summer Swing (post-US Open) once a majority of our event staff is back in the office. This year we were throwing it on Friday the 29th.
I volunteered to find a BBQ Grill... SpongeMark Squarehands was able to source a nice big tow-behind-the-car grill that would handle anything short of a full side of beef...
Manny "High Voltage" Lopez and I worked out a deal to split cooking duties-and at around 10:30 I put some fire to the hardwood charcoal and soon had enough heat to start drop-forging horseshoes...
We fed the 60 or so folks in the office from 11:30 to around 2:00...
I grilled up a shitload of dogs and burgers and even whipped up a few Death Dogs... Good ol' high-fat-content Ballpark franks wrapped in bacon and served with a healthy (heh) squirt of cheeze-in-a-can... There are enough nitrates, sodium and preservatives to kill a small horse.
(Actually, the effort eventaully involved the killing of a small horse's *ass*, but that's different blog entry. Stay tuned, film at 11...)

Marco shot some pics during the cookout and circulated this little artistically filtered gem in the company e-mail...

The Jolly Green Giant

You'll be hearing more about Marco- He will be my partner-in-crime in Shanghai this year. He's handling the overhead video wall content at the Tennis Masters Cup, so no doubt he will figure prominently in some blog entries in November.

And Manny's shift at being Grillmaster?
Right... Manny brought some steaks that he threw on one corner of the grill and seared to perfection... the sliced beef was a great addition to the party, as was Redneck's pork shoulder that was also given a little grill time...
All in all, a great Friday at IDS...

Now, if I can just get the grill back to it's rightful owner before they find out it's missing...

------------------------------------

Anyone catch the game last night?
Rutgers is now 5-0...

As P-Squared would say - "Jaegermeister for everybody!!"

What a great game... Even though Rutgers tried to give it away through penalties, they were still able to pull out the win after drawing first blood then trailing behind the USF Bulls at the half...
If they (Scarlet Knnnnnigggits) can keep Leonard and Rice healthy, it will be a great season. (And of course, I will be bombarded with RU rah-rah from the office next door.)

A side note- My drinking buddy from Sauze D'Oulx was one of the sideline reporters for ESPN2... The lovely and talented Tina Dixon.
Seems she's been doing a good bit of NCAA football this season for ESPN...
Nice to see she's getting into more mainstream sports gigs rather than being exiled to the X-games and Dew Tour sports reporting...

--------------------------------------

Saturday had a disturbing start- my phone rang at 5:55AM.
My buddy Pete from Tampa says that when the phone rings that early it's never a good thing.
"Good news sleeps 'til noon." is his comment.

Well, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either.
It was Mal (bad, in the latin) from Shanghai, throwing yet another Monkey Wrench in the Tennis Masters Cup works... Details another time, but it will suffice to say it was a situation worthy of a 5:55AM call...


Ok- Hunter's got a soccer game at 9:00 this morning, and I have lots to do before the game...

Famous, out-

Still alive...

...but only marginally.

Got back from Shanghai on Tuesday night... No real issues except for the 5 hour layover in Detroit.

Had the best experience with Customs there...
I went throught the rubber glove test with my bags and equipment, and for once didn't leave feeling like I'd been overly abused or violated.
They did check every nook and cranny in all my bags, dirty laundry and all, but their attitude was the thing that made it less of a burden that it could have been.
The questions were specific but not accusatory, they accepted reasonable explanations, and were very professional about the whole 20 minute ordeal.

Kudos to the Customs and Immigrations guys in Detroit.
(And I did send in a comment card in regards to my experience.)

So- Back in the office on Wednesday to start catching up-
Went to Lunch with Jingalls and Mitch- and wound up with the worst food poisoning I've had since Beijing in 2004.
By 6 Wednesday night I was expelling everything inside me that wasn't original equipment, and by noon the next day I was starting to worry that I was going to need some replacement parts...
My fever broke on Friday afternoon, and on Friday evening I finally was able to eat some rice and toast... It has not been pretty...
For instance, I can tell you the bathroom floor has 273 tiles visible, as I have had multiple opportunities to count them...

Well... I'm back among the living... At least until Monday.
Then I head to New York.

Egads.

Famous!

Road warriors, here's a site for you...

Friends, do you hate air travel?

Do you look for every advantage in booking your seats for those long flights?

Well I have a site for you, then, Champ.

SeatGuru...




Select the airline, then the plane type on the sidebar on the left, and SeatGuru gives you a color-coded diagram of the seats on the plane, complete with roll-over comments regarding the plus and minus of the seat...

This is a great tool used in conjunction with the view/change seat app on most airlines websites...

And it's free, and no registration...
How cool is that?

Famous, out-

Travel Day...

Man, I hate east-to-west travel...

Here it is, 3:30 in the morning, I'm wide awake, and it's travel day.

I have a 10:00am flight out of PuDong which is over an hour's drive, even longer if I go during rush hour. Needless to say, I'll be leaving early.

It's time travel day too... The flight segment leaves Tokyo-NRT at 3:00pm and gets into Detroit at 1:30pm. Neat trick, eh? The bad thing? The 5 hour layover at DTW. The Jax flight is at 7:30pm... Guess who will be sleeping in the bar nearest to the Jax gate?
I can just see that conversation...

Waitress 1: "You go wake him up."
Waitress 2: "Screw you. He's at one of your tables. You wake him."
W1: "No way. I had to mop the floor where he was drooling as he slept. You go get him up."
W2: "Ain't happening. He looks like the kinda guy who flails about and hits people when woken unnecessarily."
W1: "Think we can shoot him from behind the bar with the soda gun?"

Good times... Good times.

Amazing, out.

Testing, Phase 3

Well...
Another day in a warehouse in Shanghai.

We're getting better.
The image is getting better, but we still have a couple hurdles.


This image is shot a bit oblique but believe me- it's better than it was.


Neal (left) and Andy (center) are discussing why we need 8 pieces of hardware to process the signal...


Michelle and Mal supervising our efforts.
(Nice legs, Mal.)

We wrapped about 2:45, laid out our next-steps and I took my equipment back to the hotel, then headed to Xin-Xin Sports to see Charles and the guys for a short chat before leaving.

I took the subway-
As I was getting out near Jing'an there were some guys playing giant bamboo, uh, things. Kind of a cross between and digiridoo and a saxophone.


(Click for a bigger view of the pic)

Well... Onward to more and better stuff...
Gotta get ready to hit the road.

Famous, out-

How NOT to spend a Sunday in Shanghai.

or-
What we have here, is a failure to communicate.
DongTai, Huxinting and the demise of Xiangyang.

I've been on a quest...

One of the requests I got before I came over here was for a couple mooncake boxes...

Never heard of Mooncake?
See this entry from last year in Beijing.

Well... Mom wanted a couple of theses ornate compartmented boxes that folks pack their mooncakes in. We were able to find some in Panjiayuan last year very easily, so I though it would be the same here... I'd just find the local flea market/antique place and check off that task and I'm off to my next item on my to-do list.

Since I'm still time shifted I'm still getting up at 3:30 or 4 in the morning, so by 7:00 I was ready to go. I thought I'd get breakfast down near the market.

I figured I'd find them either over in the Xiangyang market or over in DongTai/Fengbang/DaJing antiques area, so I went to the concierge to get a taxi card. Taxi cards have the hotel name and address on one side and the concierge writes in Chinese destination you want to go to on the other side...
I told the concierge I wanted a card to Xiangyang and he said that it was closed.

Yours Truly: Huh?
Concierge: Yes. Xiangyang closed.
YT: Closed because it's Sunday?
C: No. Market closed. No more.
YT: What's up with that?
C: No up. (Note 1. Don't use slang/jargon with someone when English isn't their primary language.)
YT: What?
C: No up. No more market.
YT: Oh. What happened? (I had a pretty good idea.)
C: Government closed down.
YT: They closed the government too?
C: What? (Note 2. Don't try to be funny with someone when English isn't their primary language.)
YT: Never mind. So, the market is closed.

Basically, this is story: at 9:30 PM, June 30, 2006, all the gates of Xiangyang Market were closed, and no customers were allowed to enter the market from then on. Soon, the buildings was razed and the site is being turned into a retail and office complex.

No more Xiangyang Market in Shanghai. So don't need to waste time to go to the site to try your luck - it is closed, and it is gone.
It is clear message of "NO" to fake goods and products. According to the news, other markets put "No Fake Goods" into the rental contracts and keep close eyes on this issue. Anyway, China has entered the WTO; the Beijing Olympics will be held in 2 years, and the Shanghai World Expo 2010 is just 3 years ahead.
No more screwing around.

Now, if you think this is the end of the "You want watch, DVD Bag?" guys, I have news for you... they are still all over the place, but they aren't concentrated like they were in Xiangyang...

I was bummed... I headed over to the taxi stand.
I showed my taxi card to the taxi dude- they guy who hails the taxis in front of the hotel... This is the same guy who was calling me "Harley Davidson" last year... He saw me when I got here and shouts "Ay ya! Har-re Davisson!"

So... I'm off to Dongtai Lu.

Dongtai is a place with small stalls of antiques along a narrow road...
Pics from last year...




Thought I'd find those boxes easily, but alas, it was not to be.
I walked up and down the streets, peeking and poking around, but never found a box store. I found lots of ornate little chests and small wood boxes, but not the type I was looking for.

I saw a woman carrying 2 small boxes of the same type I was looking for.

I tapped her on the shoulder to ask her where she got the boxes.
(I thought she was a shopkeeper... oops.)
She stopped, looked up at me panic-stricken...
I pointed at the box then around the market.
"Where did you get these?" I asked.
Ok... Maybe this wasn't the best plan.
Let's set the scene...
A woman has purchased 2 gifts for someone in the market, and is scurrying off to wherever she lives. A huge ogre accosts her in the street, pointing at her gifts and gesturing all over the place and babbling at her.
This, of course, is a recipe for trouble...
I can see her building up for a good scream. This is going to go bad, I can tell.
Another woman shopping sees the trouble and comes to our collective rescue...the rescuer explains my question, the other woman says she doesn't know and hurries off with many backward glances to make sure she isn't being persued by the monster.

I wandered the markets until around 1, then got some lunch.

Kind of by accident I found the Huxinting Shanghai Teahouse...

You will note, just like in the Forbidden City in Beijing,
the ubiquitous Starbucks in the square behind the teahouse.

It's near Yuyuan Gardens near the Dajing jewelry area.
At one time the Huxinting Teahouse was a very prestigious place for business; Now it is a tourist trap of the highest order- I hear the tea is average at best... You'll see very few locals there now, except ones accompanying Westerners who are looking for an old-Shanghai experience.
They'd be better off going to Gu Yuan on Fuxing Lu for a more authentic time...

I went over to the Cybermart and shopped around a bit, then headed back to the Mayfair.

I got in about 3:30 and they were just starting to clean my room...Lovely.

I sat in the lobby bar and had a drink with 2 airline pilots- they got to listen to me ranting about airlines and airports... I got to listen to them rant about passengers and flight attendants...
We both ranted about the TSA. Glad to hear they are as disgusted as I am with the whole process...

Oh well...

More videowall testing today...

Fingers crossed. I'm going over to the temple over in Zhongshan park and burning some incense, maybe influence the local deities in our favor for this test.

I'll let you know.

Amazing out-