Douchebag Parking

I love this-
I'm going to start carrying a big stick of chalk around...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Laundry Day Night

Did my laundry the other night...
(Yes, I do my own laundry... Have you ever seen what they charge to wash a shirt or a pair of pants at a Hilton? It's redicking fuckulous.)

So, a block up O'Farrell is the TL - A DIY laundromat, cafe and bike rental.
A great way to spend a couple hours on an off-evening.

The sign over the door was a good memo from Captain Obvious...


And yes, that's a pterodactyl hanging from the ceiling.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I'm Impressed With the CHP / Local CA MotorCops.

On the drive between SF and Sacramento I wound up behind a CHP bike...
(I could be wrong- it says 'Police'... Could be a local yokel.)

I did a doubletake-
Wow.

I don't remember Ponch and Jon being outfitted like this...
The bike:

(Click pic for larger version)

Detail... Let me rotate it, so you can see it better...


Yep -an AR bike mount...
I guess they are good Boy Scouts- Be Prepared!
Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it...
And being on two wheels is no excuse to be ill-prepared.

I'll need to see if they have a mount like that for the Yamaha FJR.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Morning Musings

Having breakfast in lovely Vacaville CA, where I was questioned by the waitress because I ordered coffee AND water...

"Are you gonna drink that? We got a water shortage goin' on here."

Honey- I wouldn't have asked for it if I wasn't going to drink it.
That noise you hear is your tip dwindling away...

Notes on the news:
Obama is fucking delusional...
He's not even trying any more. Every time he opens his mouth his lies and  prevarication are more and more obvious.

• The US is more respected world wide now more than ever?

POTUS please.

• We have to keep the PacRim trade agreement secret because reasons!
• Obamacare is teh best! It's 100% on all goals and is hitting or surpassing all expectations.
• Not only should all the illegal immigrants  undocumented workers- be allowed to stay,  we should welcome anyone who wants to come, and give them free stuff AND a voice in elections.

• He's got his knickers in a twist because of an issue with Obamacare semantics... the SCOTUS is looking at Obamacare issues and state exchanges and it is threatening his house of straw...

Guess what- remember "we have to pass it to know what's in it"?
How about the ethics and transparency that was supposed to be the bedrock of the O-administration?
So with this in mind- see the above regarding thePacRim Agreement comment above...

FTMF.

Other stuff (just so this doesn't become one long anti-Obama screed)...

• The McKinney incident:
  If you dig just a little deeper than the race hustlers and the complicit if-it-bleeds-it-leads media are spouting, you'll see the idiot who put together the "pool party" without membership, authorization or permission at that location and promoted it via FB, twitter and the DJ (who also exacerbated the situation) should be charged...
  The hooligans are lucky they only had a gun pointed at them...
  The people involved should have been maced or at least Tazed.
  7 or 8 times. Each.
  Look it up and/or watch the whole 30 minute video- dumbassery on the hoof.
  "Dimepiece" indeed.

• Bruce "Kaitlyn" Jenner and the ESPN Courage award, and the media falling all over itself to refer to Jenner with feminine pronouns.
  Jeebus Pete, slow the fuck down, people...
  You're doing more damage to your cause by force feeding the agenda.

• Hillary
  Holy crap people... Please wake up and smell the horseshit, y'all. Especially the turd that sat next to me on the flight out here- with you "It's her turn because Teh Womyn!"
  You're lucky I didn't gouge your eyes out with my car keys, you simpering mouthbreather. Gah.

• Texas campus carry legislation.
  About fucking time, Lone Star...
  The CC opposition seems to be fixated on the relatively small odds of an active shooter situation as the only time a CC might possibly be of use... so why bother having icky guns around?
  They need to look at the overall violent crimes (especially sexual assaults) comitted on-campus and how they might be resolved, or better yet, deterred due to CC.
  Now if we can get OC in Florida.
  Then we could work on lanesplitting and filtering...

Time to get back on the highway.
The California speed limits aren't going to break themselves...

TBG - MOLAR LABIA

The Tenderloin

So, I've mentioned a couple times I'm in SanFran.
Lovely city, so I'm told...
Sadly I'm in the Tenderloin. Not the best spot in the downtown area.

What/where is the Tenderloin?


If you'd like to be depressed, Google images - "SF Tenderloin" for a look at what it's like to walk around here... As a rule- by 9:30 I'm back in the hotel and dialed into Netflix.

I was on walkabout the first night I was here when there was a shooting about a block away- an innocuous 'pop' and and shouting from the corner of O'Farrell and Hyde. About 10 minutes later there were 4 or 5 police cars on the scene. This is at 10pm-
Really crazy shit starts about 11:30 or 12.

Yesterday the guy who runs my favorite taquería (Los Colores) was telling me about a stabbing on Wednesday evening; One of the local traffic shouters (a street person whose primary pastime is to lurch about in the street and incoherently shout at the cars going by) was stabbed in chest by another homeless person.
Not for any good reason- but because "she had bumped into her"...

I initially blew it off- until I was checking out the news-

Suspect in Tenderloin Flees After Stabbing Woman in Chest

At about 10 p.m. Wednesday, a 40-year-old woman was walking near the intersection of Leavenworth and Eddy streets when another woman bumped into her. The woman who bumped into her engaged in an argument and then stabbed her in the chest with a sharp object before fleeing, according to San Francisco police spokesman Officer Albie Esparza.

Police responded and found the victim suffering from a puncture wound to the chest. She was transported to San Francisco General Hospital with injuries that are not considered life-threatening, Esparza said.

Wow.

There was also a wrong-way-one-way police chase on Monday morning-
At 6am I was in one of the local diners having breakfast and the all-night counterman was watching the police work a traffic accident involving a parked car (where someone was sleeping)- he said a BMW was going the wrong way up Mason Street and hit the car...
Looking at the news a day later...

Stolen BMW’s wild ride across San Francisco

San Francisco police have detained a 37-year-old suspect who allegedly stole a car early this morning from a South of Market BMW dealership by driving it through the showroom window and onto city streets, a police spokesman said.
...
Upon arrival at the dealership, officers found a large floor to ceiling window of the dealership smashed and discovered cars had been moved around, according to Esparza.
....
It appears that once the suspect had gained access to the vehicle, he drove it through the window of the dealership and onto the street, according to police.

At 5:23 a.m., police responded to a call of an injury hit-and-run crash at Mason and Post streets near Union Square involving a new BMW, Esparza said.

The suspect in that crash fled the scene on foot after crashing a BMW into a parked vehicle where an occupant was sleeping. Police said the occupant of that vehicle was not seriously injured.

If you add wall-to-wall blue-staters, granola-munching hippies of all description, hipsters trying to gentrify the seedier areas of town, water shortages, wildfires, earthquakes, mudslides, general crime, insane taxes and sky-high prices... well... You see why I'm generally not a fan of this place.

Ok- Now you should be thoroughly horrified about visiting San Francisco in general.

If, however, fate decides to bend you over the back of the sofa and you find yourself staying for an interminable period at the Hilton off Union Square, here are a few places for food and drink that are approved by The Big Guy...

First- as referenced earlier-
Lunchtime:
Los Colores (link up top)- Tacos & such- Inexpensive & tasty. Try the carne asada.
Also for lunch-
David's Delicatessen - the Chopped Chicken Liver- to die for!
Kucina ni Tess - Fliipino place behind the Hilton. Kawali Lechon (pork belly) and Bistik (beef w/ lemon, onions & soy).


Dinner-
Coco Bang - Korean hole-in-the-wall on Taylor St. Amazing fried chicken.
For drinks (Or early dinner)
Redford - (But go early - at 9 hipsters hit this place hard!)
If you go before 7:00 for dinner, get the Antipasto plate and a Moscow Mule at happy hour prices. The bourbon deviled eggs are great.

Breakfast-
Pinecrest Diner - Good basic diner food. -OR-
Olympic Flame Cafe - really basic, better prices than Pinecrest, but really old.

Other places of note:
Hyde Away Blues BBQ & Gumbo cafe. I keep trying to get here, but I keep getting sidetracked or they are closed because they've run out of food.
Brenda's French Soul Food -This place is supposed to be amaze-balls - it's a little bit of a hike, but I'm going there tomorrow for breakfast... Will let you know how it goes.

Pretty much everything I've done is by foot...
If I can swing it, there is a rum bar I want to visit...
Smuggler's Cove - Supposedly one of the top 50 bars in the US...
Any place that boasts over 400 rums on hand definitely has my attention.
Again, film at 11.

If I make it.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Perception - The '(fillintheblank)' Capitol of America!

Sitting in the office, minding my own business (a/k/a eavesdropping) and folks are discussing dinner last night and how one woman (a New Yorker) had to order some seafood dish on the menu-
"Because San Francisco is the seafood capitol of America."




*Ding!*

This woman needs a high-five.
In the head.
With a chair.
Sadly I am not in a position where I can administer such a much-needed corrective action.


Uh- Honey-
There's this place- Florida?
I don't know if you've heard of it...
Florida= Oysters, Stone Crab, Lobster, Snapper, Grouper, Shrimp, Wahoo, Cobia and the list goes on ad infinitum...


Yeah- San Fran = blah blah blah - Dungeness crab... Whatever.
SanFran MIGHT be the capitol of the US for one specific species of one type of seafood.
(And she's lucky no one from the Chesapeake Bay region was around to school her on blue crabs...)

Now - I will grant that SF (and especially the Tenderloin, where I am staying) is the California capitol of crazies/crackheads/wacked out meth heads/shouters & screamers...
There has been a shooting within 3 blocks of my hotel every night this week.
Even I don't go out late at night around here...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Compare - Contrast...

Concession prices at the Oracle Arena during game 1 of the NBA Finals...



As compared to The Masters...


Wow.

I guess if you only have a couple hours to screw over 19,596 people, you have to make the best of the situation.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

AYFKM?

Word around the campfire last night was that tickets for courtside seats for the Warriors/Cavs first game were selling for...

$58,000

Well... I guess that's where all the Silicon Valley money (and probably Solyndra and Obama $timulus money) is going.

Gotta love California

TBG

Doin' Time on Planet NBA

Welcome to June -
I'm firmly embedded, not unlike the storied Alabama Tick, in SF- doing my part for the Finals.
Sadly, I am City One Johnny- I won't be going to Cleveland.
(Breaking my heart here...)

So-
In celebration of the NBA's year-end hoop-de-doo,
cast your eyes upon this little supercut...

Nothin' but net, baby...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

At That Point, A Small Miracle Occurred

I made it.

But just barely...

(I hate running through airports.)

Time Will Tell: United Bones Me Again?

I recently met with our resident Travel Goddess and asked her to change my travel profile to require (if at all possible) a minimum of one hour connection time on any connecting flights.
4 times in the last 6 months I have had flight delays that caused missed connections and other complications, and this was my attempt to mitigate these problems.

Fast forward to the present.
I'm on final into Washington DC with a connecting flight to SFO.
We pushed back from the gate in Jax right on time at 2:10, taxied to an out of the way spot and the pilot announced a ground delay from DC, and we wouldn't be leaving until 2:45.
(This is a typical airline canard to keep 'on time' statistics in their favor.)

A little basic math tells me that my next flight would be in the final stages of boarding when we arrive...
Depending on the proximity of the gates in DC, I might have as much as a 20 minute trip to get to my departing flight...
Not goo DF.

So... during the ground delay I called United and got a tentative booking on a later flight,  in case I miss this one...

I'm doing everything I can to make sure my trips are problem-free...
Why can't United do the same for me?

Film at 11.

TBG

Public Service Announcement

Everyone- watch your asses.
My Ex-Wife is on the road this morning.

Her car wasn't in it's usual parking spot...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Not Worth The Pixels

<snip>

Did you ever start writing a long screed about something,
then about 8 or 9 paragraphs in you just say
"Fuck it- no one want to hear my bullshit."

 Yeah...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

TGIF

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Rules - The Follow Up

A few days back I had a post regarding rules that suggested most were due to dire circumstances or mortal lessons...

This is one of those occasions:


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Only At BBQ Restaurant in the South...

...will you hear a waitress and a customer argue about the merits and costs of 4x4 off-road tires.
Her: "...Had those Firestones you like one season. Hated 'em. Useless & expensive, just like a husband with a coke habit."
Him: "No...They're great. We went rock climbing all the time when I lived in San Antone."
Her: "That's nice sweetie, but this here's Flor-i-Da, and we got mud and sand and sandy mud. Get you some Mickey Thompsons Baja MTZs; That's what I'm spending your tip money on...
Those Firestones just suck ass..."
(Drops mic,  walks off.)

Wow. Have a feeling her tire fund won't have a significant bump today.

TBG eavesdropping.

My Reputation Precedes Me

Apparently someone told them I was coming going to be in the area...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Cannot Humor At This Time, Please Try Again Later

Blah blah blah,

Something something:
Elephant Gloryholes.

Punchline.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Crap

I had great expectations for attending the Jamboree at A Nice Golf Course...
A couple weeks ago I was in San Francisco at Olympic for the Men's Amateur 4-Ball competition, then in Bandon Oregon, working at Pacific Dunes on the Women's Amateur 4-ball.
I had the following week off...
(That would be last week.)
I should have been getting on my little mule and riding to N 33.503331, W -82.019350 with my clubs strapped to the saddlebags and 50 or 60 fresh-water dimpled pearls (balls recovered from golf course ponds around North Florida) and a pair of football cleats instead of FootJoys (hey, you gotta improvise...).

But no. Sadly, it was not to be.
I got a call whilst in Bandon- The crew that was doing the 3D course scanning in Sacramento (for the Senior US Open) was moving on to Lancaster PA to do the scanning for the Women's US Open and needed some assistance.
Guess what they wanted me to do...

As the old movie trope goes-
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."

So...
When I should have been teeing off at Augusta...


I was running a Trimble TX8 scanner... A 60lb laser scanner made for creating high-resolution 3D topographical scans. (Note the sunburned noggin.)

It takes between 12 and 21 scans to cover each hole...
...And about 3-5 minutes to setup the scanner to run, 3 minutes to scan, and 2-3 minutes to hump the laser to the next location for scanning.

My man Clayton- having a little fun at my expense-
"Dude- don't even joke around - You drop that $80,000 laser in the creek and we're all going to have to move to Bugtussle Idaho to avoid the posse that will be looking for us..."

Fun fun fun...

So, Monday to Friday- I was enjoying Lancaster CC- where my pedometer told me I walked about 12-16 miles a day, lost my hat and got a really nice sunburn, while all my compatriots were playing that marvelous course in Georgia.

On the whole I really wish I was in Augusta...

I was really looking forward to the outing and seeing some of our group again, but, alas, perhaps next year...

Next up- Finals. NBA Finals.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Pop Quiz

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Things I Trust More Than Hillary Clinton

• A wolverine with a ‘pet me’ sign
• A mixed drink served by Bill Cosby
• A straight shave from Jodi Arias
• An elevator ride with Ray Rice
• Browns going to the Super Bowl
• Brian Williams' memory
• Pete Carroll coaching decisions
• Loch Ness monster sightings
• Pinocchio
• The Boy that cried Wolf
• A snapping turtle in a mud bath
• A Nigerian inheritance email
• A pilot alone in the cockpit
• A factory packed parachute
• A test fart in bed with the flu
• Tying Anthony Weiner’s shoes
• Harry Reid’s exercise equipment
• A kiss from Judas
• An Afghan wearing a backpack
• A Dana White apology
• Keeping my healthcare plan
• A North Korean trial
• A BIC pen that won’t leak
• A tuna fish sandwich left on a city bus
• Bill Clinton and an underage girl

H/T to KK for the coffee-snort-inducing email...

TBG

Rumor Control: New Firearm Development

Word around the campfire is that Ruger is working with Democrats and the Obama White House to develop a new firearm...

It will be called The Union Worker

You can't fire it...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wisdom

Sage wisdom that should be remembered:


"Every safety rule is usually written in blood."

Never heard that one before... and it makes such a great impression...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

On the Shelf

Why don't we have this in the grocery store in Florida?


This shit, however, they can keep.

Seriously, Why?

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Loaded Questions: PGA Tour Pros, Champions & LPGA Players Will Vote For Clinton?

From the "You've gotta be shitting me" Department

You will see headlines that read something like -
"PGA Tour Pros voting Clinton!!"
 This is an unmitigated crock of shit...
Sports Illustrated & Golf.com does an anonymous survey of a bunch of golf-centric topics: overrated players, does the ball go too far, Best/worst course on the tour, greatest golfer, etc.
But... They went way out of their way to craft a question that would garner the results the media could use to the advantage of the Clinton Machine...

And such a bullshit question:

"If Hillary Clinton could guarantee your taxes would be cut in half, but the Republican presidential candidate would keep them the same, would you vote for her?"

Are you fucking kidding me? Can you ask a more dishonest question in order to advance your agenda?

Results: Yes 57%  No: 43%

And their 'Loose lips" comment:
"If she ever said that, she'd be lying."

Really? Y'Think?

F'ing morons.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Why Would You Do That To Your Mother?

So, following up on an overheard conversation last night in the local purveyor of Adult Spirits...

There were a couple twenty-somethings -male and female- at the bar along with a line of mixed geographicals -visitors and locals.
I didn't hear the genesis of the exchange, but one of the older women at the bar said something to one of the kids - obviously something uber-cool and 'winning', to which the 20-ish child replied "Yeah! Ohhh... Will you be my mom?" to much laughter...

I reflected inwardly how 1) I've heard this before, (and after doing a bit of research it's becoming commonplace) and 2) it is, in my not-so-humble-opinion, pretty damned insulting, especially in proximity to Mother's Day. Or even not close to Mother's Day...

So- your mom isn't cool enough to do shots with you, or won't let you do something risky, morally ambiguous, or perhaps illegal, so you'd like to trade up to someone who will?
Fuck you, you little shit. Don't second guess your mom...
Someday you may be in a position that you will have to guide a small person to the age of maturity and will have to analyze the 10,000 actions and decisions that become the basis of someone's existence and code of behavioral ethics. It's not an easy job- Do you think it's easy to raise a kid?
Fortunately Motherhood usually comes with a huge dollop of self-delusion...
Remember your Heinlein:

"Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth."

As I indicated, I did a moment's research and found a way too many examples -
A fairly good article on mom, #mom and momming especially in regards to celebrity momming can be found here.

And if you want to be really disgusted, check out the #mom or "will you be my mom" hashtag on Twitter.  And the opposite side is probably just as disturbing with "will you be my daughter".

(Yes, I have a sense of humor, and I understand sarcasm and satire, but Jeebus on a jumped-up skateboard, what the actual fuck is wrong with people?)


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saltwater...

...is my Kryptonite.

It doesn't necessarily make me weak, but it is my weakness.
Any time I'm close to the Ocean, I have to go see it... Touch it.
So, no surprise that I would wind up on the beach here in Oregon.
The shoreline here in Bandon has some amazing rock formations...

Looking north from the hotel:


Rolling surf near the south jetty of the Coquille River


Face Rock


The legend of Face Rock

Legend from the Nah-So-Mah Tribe has it that the beautiful Indian princess Ewanua was visiting tribes on the coast with her father, Chief Siskiyou, and in celebration of their visit, a great potlatch took place.

The local tribes were in great fear of Seatka, the evil spirit of the ocean, but Ewanua and those in her tribe, who lived in the mountains, were not afraid.
After the feast, while others lay sleeping, Ewanua carried her dog, Komax, and her cat and kittens in a basket and wandered down to the ocean.

She danced and played with delight, and soon placed her pets in their basket on the beach and swam into the ocean, far from shore. Unaware of any danger, she was suddenly grabbed by a fearsome creature that came out of the water.

Komax, knowing his mistress was in danger, swam out to her with the basket in his mouth and bit Seatka. Howling with rage, the monster kicked off the dog and threw the cat and kittens far out to sea. He tried to get the princess to look at him, but she refused, knowing his power was in his eyes.

Now, the beautiful Ewanua lies in the ocean, looking skyward, refusing to look at Seatka, who sits nearby. Her beloved Komax and her cat and kittens lie to the west, waiting in vain for their mistress to arise.
 - From Waymarkings.com

Cat-and-kittens and Komax are additional rock formations along the shore here by my hotel. I need to wait for the tide to be right to get a pic of Komax from the right perspective.
I was able to get the shot of Komax that I wanted...



Good boy, Komax. Sit. Stay.

TBG - - ΜAKIN WAVES

Sunday Funny

I'll take "Marine Mammal Pickup Lines" for $1000, Alex...


HA!

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

KA CA Highway 101

CA 101 is a roller-coaster of a highway.

If you get the opportunity, take it.

My next stop - Bandon Oregon. A resort/retirement destination on the coast.
But between SanFran and there is an 8-hour trip through the Redwood Empire.

It's an amazing trip.
And holy crap those trees are huge.

A little pit stop on the way...
6 Rivers Brewing is up in  McKinleyville CA, in Humboldt County...
I stopped in for lunch-


My, my, that IS a tasty burger!

I did get a kick out of their dual-purpose coasters...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Kalifornia... Moving On...

I made it through the end of the Finals with no issues- small victories, eh?



So- first, a little celebration dinner-
A little dish of Crassostrea sikamea- Kumamoto oysters...
One of my West Coast favorites.
So tasty!

Next - a little 8 hour drive up the coast...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE