Wednesday, June 04, 2014

The Tequila Roundtable: Truths - Part 1

Imagine, if you will, being a fly on the wall at a local purveyor of *cough* fine Mexican cuisine. On an occasional basis a group of local ne'er-do-wells gather to discuss matters of state, swill white-label tequila, and deplete the local supply of carnitas and chorizo tacos.
This is a loosly-transcribed distillation of the conversation... 

I. Edumacation

The Degenerate: When I was just a rotten kid in [redacted], I usually got just a little more than my RDA of trouble in school... I spent a reasonable amount of time in the Admin office getting 'counseled' regarding behavior and cautioned that there could possible entries in my "PERMANENT RECORD"... That thick file that follows you all your life...
At the time, I think we had some notion of a large hanging folder in a large file cabinet in the Vatican that was available to everyone to see what horrible things you did in 3rd grade.

The Barrister: I think that particular Sword of Damocles is largely gone these days...
But kids should be worried about other things now.

The Ogre: If you're in high school and suffering, don't worry. (and if you're in high school and reading this website, WTF Dude- Don't you have studying to do?)
High School doesn't f'ing matter. College barely matters.
Just make sure you pass; For most careers, your grades don't really matter.
Also, the Internet is your "permanent record"; Regardless of what they told you in those many trips to the principal's office, there's nothing in High School that follows you.

The Barrister: Let me clarify this a bit:  Elementary, Jr. High, High School, and University grades matter immensely for some careers.
Let's say you want to be a researcher of some sort. Without a training, learning, and constantly getting better 'learning skills' throughout your education,these careers are barred for you.
Elementary and Jr High matter because this is where you learn the skills to be a scholar. They are training for what matters.

The Ogre: Ah. That's where I screwed up...

The Bean Counter: Getting into a top university is dependent on doing extremely well in HS and getting into a top grad program and securing a famous adviser depends on doing great in undergrad. (TBG's Note: Or being a mediocre student but being in a recognized minority. PS - "Stoner" is not a recognized minority unless you're from Hawaii. )

The Barrister: You will not have a career in academia unless you have both a famous adviser, papers in top journals, and a PhD from a top tier school in your field.
Even then- it would be a miracle.
So unless you're walking on water, get the skills and the sheepskin.

The Ogre: Any college major 'they' (counselors, etc) tell you is going to make you a lot of money, will not. By the time you graduate, all the sheep will have flocked to it and over saturated the market- essentially making the degree worthless unless you're genius level at what you do, or have (or can make) powerful connections.
But trust me on the Internet thing. That shit on Facebook and Instagram will hunt you down and kill you.

The Pragmatist (the heaviest drinker of our klatsch):
College is about three things:
1. Showing you can do the work to get the degree so employers can have a basic level of trust that you won't fuck up their shit.
2. Making connections with people who might be able to help you make money/get more opportunities in the future. Align yourself with winners, not people who bitch about life and how unfair shit is. End of the day, who really gives a fuck? No one.
3. Do as much fun stupid shit as you can as long as none of it gets posted on the internet. Once you start working, you'll be under much closer scrutiny since your work affects other people's livelihood's directly. Get as much bullshit out of your system as possible. Never drink to the point where you black out, losing control is for losers with low self worth aka most women you'll meet at college.
At this point there is much derision and ridicule for the Pragmatist...
"Gee. Great job coming at the end and giving a half-baked profanity-laced summary.
F'ing Wanker."

II - Work

The Degenerate: When you start working full time in whatever job you land in remember that, unless you are in a skill position, how you do your job matter less than your ability to establish and maintain political relationships.
Companies have zero loyalty to their workers.
Don't ever think that a company cares about you, even if you have a cool boss. They will feed you to jellyfish and stream that shit live to YouTube if it increases revenue by 1%.

The Bean Counter: The people you work for don't play by the same rules that they want you to play by. It's no secret how the powerful get (and stay) powerful: by taking advantage of everyone below them, and out-politicking those above them. Get good at both if money means anything to you.

The Pragmatist: Wonder why the assholes who shirk work all fucking day get promoted and get taken out by management for a three-martini lunch while you're stuck doing shit work?
Hint: Shmoozing is better return on investment than actually working.
Welcome to the First World.

The Barrister: Again, with that cool boss thing- don't let them fool you. Until you are the same level, you're just a chess piece.  No matter how much your boss is nice to you, everything they say is just to get you to work harder for them. They are not your friend, and becoming friends with them is a mistake.
All you are is a tool.
When you stop being useful you will be let go, so never let that happen.

The Ogre: Do everything possible to work for yourself. The rat race is just that; don't participate.

Money is literally the only point of work, pick something that pays a lot and do whatever artsy fartsy stuff you are interested in on the side, because if you think you're going to make money from it, you're out of you frimping gourd.
97%* of people who try to be artists for a living fail and end up working at Burger King.

TL;DR It's not what you know, it's who you know.

III - Misc Addenda
The Barrister: Most people you will meet are idiots, but because there are so many of them you look like the odd-man-out. Don't be discouraged.

The Pragmatist: No one, not even your therapist, gives a rat's ass about your feelings unless it affects their ability to maintain their lifestyle directly.

The Ogre: There's a reason why governments demand a monopoly on violence and forbid its use by most of its citizens: Violence usually gets results.

The Pragmatist: Whether physical, economic, emotional, or political, if you need shit done, just fucking get shit done. Have a vision and stick to it. It's better to fail on your terms than succeed on someone else's. Being nice and compliant is a great way to get screwed.

Casa Maria - twice a month whether we need it or not.
Lots more from this group of miscreants...

*I picked this statistic out of my head. It's probably a lot smaller. GIMF-'what percentage of artists are successful'.



Old NFO said...

Damn, I didn't know we had a Southern branch... :-) Heard VERY similar things over dinner up here a few times...

Borepatch said...

In tequila veritas