Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Texas, By Ghod.
Texas Women & Repression

Last week I was in Texas...
San Antonio, via Houston to be exact.

When I booked my ticket, the San Antonio Spurs had just won the NBA West Conference Finals and were going to be playing the Miami Heat.

I had checked the tickets the day before (to see what it would cost to go to Oklahoma City, in case the Thunder won the West) and the tix were an oh-so-reasonable $419.

The following morning the tickets were $1000+.
Fucking Air Pirates.
It was more economical to fly into IAH and rent a car for a day to drive the 4 hours to San Antonio (and the same going back) - full size rental was $71 and gas was $29.
Was it worth the time? Probably.
(What was my choice? A connection in IAH, and another 40 minutes in the air and claiming my bags in SA, and a $60 taxi ride to downtown?)

After a week of Tex Mex & BBQ, a bomb scare, a heavenly burrata, and a close encounter with a clueless security drone, it was time to head out...

But not before telling stories of a couple more interesting encounters...

First- during the bomb scare I headed a couple blocks away and found a bar to cool my jets in while waiting for the all-clear.
(Because standing across the street [like the 50 or 60 other displaced people like me] from a building that may or may not have a bomb in it is, in my opinion, a stupid idea.)

It was a small, dimly-lit little wine-and-cocktails place with a snotty bartender- unimpressed when I asked for iced tea rather than a $10 mojito or a $12 Pinot Grigio.
There were 4 women also at the bar- looking a little more "In town for a business conference" than "Ladies Who Lunch" or something more social...

Since there was only about 8 seats at the bar I was relatively close to them and could hear the gist of the conversation, I gathered a) they were from a conference at the hotel and they were also displaced by the Drama Therein and b) they were Texas Women and that means trouble.

I did my best to become part of the scenery and was mostly successful, in that I did not intrude in their conversation, neither was I drawn into any interaction, but merely observed the species in the native environment- where I got to see the Texas Transformation...
Things were relatively calm: chatter regarding alcohol, fashion, the Drama at the hotel and upcoming business plans- mundane stuff- until one of the girls mentioned another's Ex.
Holy Mother of Ghod- one of them, a stereotypical big-haired blonde of statuesque proportions went from Zero-to-BatshitCrazy in .005 seconds.

This woman went from reserved and elegant to fire-breathing cast-iron bitch in a heartbeat. I've never seen such a shift in personality so fast...


Whoa. Check please!

I got the hell out before I became a target of convenience...


My work location in San Antonio was in a conference room populated with a few Yankee females that seemed somewhat humorless and probably not willing to Put Up With My Shit...
(My Shit= That's What She Said, Firearm Humor, Conservative Commentary, and Southern Colloquialisms)
They spent a reasonable amount of time on the phone and I had to repress a huge number of opportunities to TWSS the comment, which would have ended with a phone call to, or an email from Human Resources.
I also had to repress the urge to preface or close every conversation with Honey, Sugar, Sweetheart or Darlin'... Again... HR would be involved, aspersions cast, ogres chastized for insensitivity.
Nope, don't need none of that.
I was afraid, however- those comments and quips have to go somewhere, and repression like that would be detrimental to my alimentary system- you know: if it doesn't come out one end, it will probably come out the other...

But I survived without offending my co-workers- neither by my language or by repression-caused flatulence... Thank Ghod.
(Because a steady diet of Tex Mex doesn't make that kind of good manners easy.)

Next: Wiener Schnitzel Chicken Fried Steak and Good Company



Old NFO said...

LOL, typical Texas woman... :-) And I'm betting she WOULD do it too!

Jennifer said...

I was cheering for the Thunder in hopes of another visit. Ah well. Another time