You Want To Play, Eh?

Assume the position: TSA begins new nut-busting pat-downs

You can request a pat-down instead, but the TSA is intent on making sure you won't enjoy it. The new rules require agents to pay renewed attention to your crotch, and their hands won't stop until they meet testicular resistance.

(What about the testicularly challenged? i.e. women, and guys born under the sign of the pawnbroker?) 

...the new rules may not really be about "thoroughness" anyway, because "the obvious goal of the TSA is to make the pat-down embarrassing enough for the average passenger that the vast majority of people will choose high-tech humiliation over the low-tech ball check."

Okay... I guess they really want to start playing fuck-fuck now...
I'm thinking about taking the new & improved humiliating patdown just to see how embarrassed I can make the hapless TSA jerkwad...

Pick a phrase to be announced LOUDLY to onlookers during said patdown:

"Hey Alice, you only have to squeeze it once."

"Would you rather take them out and weigh them individually?"

"How many times do you have to fondle them, Mary?"

"If you rub it one more time you better buy me a drink."

Any others I should add to my list?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE