Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Morning After SOTU (Language Warning - NSFW)

Oy vey.
My head feels like a foot, and I think a camel came in my room last night and shit in my mouth.

More filth after the break... You were warned.

I tried to keep up with the STFU SOTU Drinking Game last night...
Between trying to drink on cue, and trying to keep from throwing up as I watched Urkel lie through his teeth
(Selective truth-telling is still lying, or so Sister Mary Elizabeth would have had us believe in my schoolin' years) I was pissed (in both senses) at about 15 minutes in...
I completely lost the ability to operate my HTC DouchePro2 coherently...
Fortunately the posts I scribbled out in my inebriated and foaming state didn't get sent due to a complex series operations that needed to be performed in order for the DP2 to connect and send when one is in C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?...
Believe me, they were not of reasonable quality... They were perhaps even gaumless.
And would have probably caught the attention of the NSA Big Brother 'blog crawling bots that look for trigger phrases. (And Koeschi knows I don't need another visit from those motherfuckers.)
The Management asked me to leave after I stood on my chair and screamed at the TV:
"Didn't explain it properly?! It's like the Japanese thinking that we would have thought Pearl Harbor ok because it was just a misunderstanding- they were just bringing us some bombs and bullets!"
The pounding on my hotel room door woke me up at 4am - It was the two strippers from the bar...
I got up and unlocked the door and let those bitches out.
I really needed to get a little more sleep.

I got up this fine (rainy) AM, got out my tweezers and pulled the little fuzzy socks off my teeth, shaved my tongue and staggered off to the IBC.

The first motherfucker who accosts me this morning is going to a giant bucket full of Fuck You Mother Fucker right in the chops.
My guess, it will be St. Ass that gets the first pail-load...


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