Monday, November 02, 2009

Hitting Close To Home....

Only in Jax Beach...

A guy and his friends:
1. Want to buy crack at 4:30 AM
2. Approach 3 males on the street. (At 4:30AM, they probably weren't Boy Scouts.)
3. Are asked to exit the vehicle to conduct pharmaceutical transaction.
4. One of them actually DOES it... (Musta really wanted that crack...)
5. ...And he gets shot.
5a. Where?
"He was hit once in the left buttock, and the bullet exited through his right testicle."
6. His friends take off in the car, leaving him with his new friends.
7. He limps (heh) to McDonald's and calls police.
8. Explains to the cops about getting shot while trying to buy crack.

Unresolved issues:
- Did they arrest the person attempting to buy crack cocaine?
- They are looking for the guy(s) that shot a guy trying to break the law by buying narcotics.
(One assumes they are not looking for them to award them Good Citizen Citations.)
- Was the Crack Buyer armed?
(Perhaps with a ferret in his pants? Seems to be all the rage these days...)


(Time to start looking for some acreage out in Bradford County. The zoning board turned down my request for a variance to install a moat, electrified fencing and automated 20mm turret guns at the Estrogen Palace.)



Luc said...

Move North ... please leave your weapons at the border... ;)

TheWrongWay said...

12 blocks, I'm two blocks!! Fantastic...

Joanna said...

Screw the zoning board and build it all anyway. If they try to do something about it, guess what? You've got a moat and a wall and guns. Good luck to 'em.

Or you could move. If you wanna be boring about it.

The Big Guy said...

Luc: Ain't gonna happen.
I'll come and visit y'all, take your money, eat your groceries and terrorize your wimminfolk, but I can't abandon my shootin' irons.
They are more valuable than (some) family members.

Zach: You're obviously on the wrong side of Beach Boulevard... Come into the Light, little brother...away from the Dark Side!

Good point, but this IS the South. I'd have to deal with Escalation.
I start yelling, they start throwing things... I start shooting back, they shoot back with bigger guns. I shoot back with even bigger guns, they call in the shock troops and the commercial fishermen and the nuns with traffic cones...
(This is why I TRY to work within the system.)

Joanna said...

Well, like I said, if you want to take the boring route ... ;-)