Letters to People Unlikely to Respond.

To the girl on JTButler Blvd on Friday morning,



Honey-

Put the %$@*ing make-up on at home, before you leave for work.

Seriously...
You just aren't good at multitasking.

You're applying eyeliner while driving your BMW SUV at 50 miles per... The speed limit is 60 and people are usually going 65 or 70...
Someone is going to rear-end you (and not in the good way IYKWIM wink-wink) and that eyeliner applicator is going to be a permanent part of your left eye.
(This will probably necessitate a completely different kind of makeup, and perhaps you will refrain from putting it on while you are heading to work...)

And I don't know if you were singing, talking to someone hands-free, or just in a heated conversation with the voices in your head, but knock it off- it looked like you were going into a full-goose-bozo hissyfit as I was passing you... It was frightening.
Don't do that, it scares the rest of us that are trying to get to work in one piece, unscathed by psychotic eye-makeup-applying American Idol Wannabes.

Oh, and lose the PeTA sticker in the back window, it clashes with your leather seats.

TBG - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ