Monday, June 27, 2016

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Should I mind my own business, or risk life, limb, and look like an idiot?
DATELINE - Indianapolis International Airport. 6:00AM.
Thanks to prior planning and TSA Precheck I made it into the depths of Concourse A with a minimum of drama.
At 6am, people watching is quite entertaining - zombified people staggering around the airport are always fun...
Indy has that famous Airport Carnival Ride, the moving sidewalk...the one that airport employees love to board then stand, blocking the aisle and chatting about how they are getting paid to stand around and ride the magic carpet.
Whilst blocked from getting to my gate at the far end of the concourse...
(And let me take a second to ask about ask why the hell my gate is always at the furthest point from where I enter the airport? I hate Denver because no matter what, I'm at the furthest gate and I have to take a train, 2 shuttles buses and still have to walk 3 or 4 kilometers. DEN sucks. Same with Atlanta. And don't  get me started about Chicago.)
Back to our story- if you aren't walking on the moving walkway, you are actually moving slower than if you are walking on the floor. At least that's how it is for me...
So I have even more time to people watch.
As we are slowly passing a Delta gate in the final stages of boarding, I see a girl slumped over sleeping.
I wonder if she was there because she missed a flight the night before, or if she just arrived very early, or maybe did one of those "I'll stay up all night so I can sleep on the plane" things.
The Delta gate agent does a 'Paging so-and-so, Last call for flight X to Y.'
Now, even though I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, I can do the math.
Missing passenger+girl sleeping in waiting area=case solved.
Sadly, way back in my career as a Sports Nomad, I fell asleep at a gate and missed a gate change announcement, and consequently my flight.
Only happens once... After that, you become gun-shy of airport announcements.
I watched the gate agents... They don't even look at Sleeping Beauty. I will give them the benefit of the doubt since she was slumped down a bit...
The Good Samaritan in me pummeled my Inner Cactus and after LaShondagh and Taniqila got out of the way I went back to the gate we had passed.
At the gate desk I addressed the attendants...
"I'm only butting in because I've slept through a flight announcement, you think it's possible the lady you just paged might be the girl sleeping over there?, indicating the girl snoozing 20 yards away.
I was completely expecting some kind of "It's against company policy to wake up sleeping passengers" or something to absolve personal responsibility...
Happily that wasn't the case.
One of the gate attendants, a grandmotherly-type went over and gently woke Sleepy who immediately jumped up and ran to the door of the jetbridge.
I'm glad Fairy Godmother woke her up-
I hate to think of what would happen if I had had to wake her...
I probably wouldn't have been maced,  being an airport and all, but surely screaming and some fingernail-clawing would have probably been in my future, along with a session with the airport police or the TSA.
No twenty something young lady needs to be awakened by an Ogre.
It can only end in tears.
Mine, most likely.
TBG [exit- pursued by a Hoosier]


Old NFO said...

That's one atta boy. :-)

jon spencer said...

I did not hear a gate change one time because I was engrossed in a book. Looked up after awhile and no one was in the area.
Made the flight, just had to move fast for a bit.

DoninSacto1 said...

There's a couple of Lady Hoosiers in Indie I wouldn't mind being chased by, unless they're angry.

Ben Catoe said...

Good work Ogre, well done. I was in her shoes once and thankfully the gate agent decided to wake me. I was first to arrive for a redeye at the end of the most ambitious site survey tour ever. I wisely decided to sit right in front of the gate so I was hard to miss. Last person to board.

Don Rittenhouse said...

Well done, Ogre Lad. Good to know there are still a few of us who can both do the simple math and actually care for our fellow man -- or woman. The finishing touch, of course, was having someone else do the gentle wake-up. That may have been worse than a missed flight to Y.