Friday, September 19, 2008

Piratical Humor

What's a pirate's favorite socks? Arrrrgyle.

What is a pirate's favorite Bruce Willis Movie? Arrrrmageddon.

What's a pirate's favorite food? Arrrrrtichokes.

What's a pirate's favorite basketball move? Jump hook.

How do pirates make their money? By hook or by crook.

Why do pirates make excellent fishermen? They know how to "hook" the big ones.

Where do pirates find their birds? Parrots Without Partners.

Why don't pirates use a safe deposit box? They put their valuables in Davy Jones' Locker.

Who's the pirate's favorite actress? Diane Cannon.

Why did the pirate refuse to say, "Aye aye, Captain"? Because he's only got one eye.

How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply? Because it was on sail.

Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl? He had a severe hook.

Who was the pirate's favorite musician? Carlos Bandana.

Why couldn't the pirate stop thinking about sailing? He had ship for brains.

What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes? A dozen pirates.

How do pirates eat on their ships? Slurp soup on the sloop.

How does a pirate greet a prostitute? Yo Ho.

What's a pirate's favorite companion? Hooker.

What exercise is hard for Blackbeard? Pirate Pilates.

When boxing, what's a pirate's favorite punch? Left hook.

What's a pirate's least favorite animal? Beaver.

What do you have to watch for when sitting down on a wooden toilet? Long john slivers.

What does a pirate put on toast? Jelly Roger.

What's is called when a pirate seeks treasure? Booty call.

What's a pirate's favorite movie? Booty and the Beast.

Where do pirates buy their sketch pads? Arrrrrrrt Supply Store.

Where do pirates drink their beer? In schooners.

Which pirate ship has a gate? A Frigate.

What is a buccaneer? Pretty high price to pay for corn.

Where does a pirate store his workout clothes? Davy Jone's Locker.

What kind of look does a pirate give right before walking off the ship? A blank stare.

How does a pirate tell his matey he'll watch for him? I'll keep an *Aye* out for you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Say 'slurp soup on the sloop' three times fast. he he he