Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Sick as a dog.

Man. I'm wiped out.

First, I cut my foot the day before yesterday...

I know it doesn't look too bad, but cut and bruise the end of your big toe and then cram it in a tennis shoe and walk around all day.
(Yeah, I know. When your dumb, you gotta be tough. Thanks Mom.)

There was an altercation in the bar last night and I awoke to the following conversation with a rather aloof Chinese doctor who had just sent one of my kidneys out the door of his office in an ice chest and stood there with a stack of 500RMB notes.

As he was counting his ill-gotten gains he said:
"No- don't get up, you've been shot. Sadly, it wasn't fatal; I've removed the bullet and three others, a blow gun dart, a letter opener, two sharks teeth, five sea urchin spines, a pair of poultry shears, the tip of a bayonet, a twisted paper clip, and meager handful of single-ought buckshot... You may want to learn how to duck if you wish to continue to drink rum at such a prodigious rate."

Now I have a throbbing headache, and post-nasal drip that is filling buckets.


This malady will not keep me from posting a couple good out-of-context quotes that you might get a chuckle out of...

The first one was at Malone's American Bar the night of the Studio 188 gig...
I had just sat down at a table with several western expats when I heard the following:
"Well, I'm no gynecologist... But what the hell. I'll have a look."


The second was at The 'Boo last night, presumably sometime before the aforementioned altercation.

"Look man. You can't teach a hammer to love nails. That dog won't hunt."

Even I had to say "What the Fu...?"

TBG out (of my mind).

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