From our "Lessons Learned" department:

After the Postage Stamp Incident, you would think that we would have our collective act together and be aware of what kind of vending machines we are patronizing.

To wit: The Parking Validation Machine.

To use this device, one parks in an appropriate location, goes to the machine and purchases a ticket for whatever length of time he wants to park his car. The ticket is then placed on the dashboard of the car and then the parking fascists know to bypass said auto voiture and move along to the next victim of poor timing.

However, in this case, Ned, our fearless leader parked his machine at the curb, ambled over to the nearest machine and stuffed in a few Euros.

Moments later 3 condoms and a bottle of Astroglide popped out the slot of the machine.


Ned didn't think twice about it; he threw the condoms on the dash of the car and headed into the hotel.
"Hey, the label said they offered full protection."
The parking carabineri must have agreed. No ticket on the car in the morning. I guess they figured it was good that he was practicing safe parking.
I took the bottle of Astroglide. It's a super-powerful lubricant.
I applied a liberal coating all over my rental car... I can now easily park my Renault in a space even a motorcycle couldn't squeeze into.

TBG Out-