The Perfect Child.

Hunter and I have been involved in all manner of activities out here.

Yesterday one of the visitors showed up with a noddy tern that was waterlogged. He'd be okay once he dried out a bit, but the larger problem of rescuing every creature that is in peril actually short-circuits the great Circle of Life. Some people just don't want to acknowledge this. Ranger Kim has a similar observation on this...
The Mailboat

Listen, bleeding hearts:
Some noddys fly, some noddys die.
Fact of life. Sorry.
Can't deal with it? Too bad. Take your dolly and go play somewhere else.
I have bathrooms to clean.

Anyway-They wanted us to nurse it back to health so all would be right with the world...
Right.
So...
Dutiful little Junior Rangers that we are, we take said Feathered Friend and put him in a critter cage and wait until the boats have departed for the day...
He got all dried out during the wait and was looking fairly well...

We dug out a kayak and I sent Hunter and the Naughty Noddy over to Bush Key.

I sent the pair off across the channel and kept a weather-eye on them as she delivered him safely to the beach.

Well... Since we have the kayak out anyway...Why don't we do a little moat patrol?
The moat is a never-ending source of trouble.
First, it is well populated with big, dumb mangrove snappers.
(The problem with big dumb snappers is that they are beggars... and the visitors like to share their lunches with yon fish. Hence, the snappers have developed tumors and galls and other growths from eating too much potato salad and the pre-processed semiboneless supermeat that the Yankee and Sunny Days pass off as Deli Ham.)
But, since they are big and dumb, people want to fish in the moat... But I'll tell ya, as much as I like fried snapper, I wouldn't touch these with a ten-foot chopstick.
Second, there are lots and lots and lots of Cassiopia jellyfish living in the moat. The water in the moat is a trip to hell lined with nematocysts if you piss off the jellyfish.

Third - (and the object of the lesson, here) Visitors don't pay attention, or simply don't care about what they are doing here, and thus, a cornucopia of wind-blown trash winds up in the moat every day. Plastic cups, paper plates, wrappers from the knife-fork-spoon-napkin package, soft drink cans, hats, t-shirts and frisbees all wind up floating in the moat.

Well... The moat is off limits to the public, since we don't want to have to do hours of jellyfish-sting-abatement procedures all the live-long day...Unfortunately it falls to us, yer humble volunteers, to fish little suzie's ball, grandpa's straw hat, and Skippy's frisbee out of the moat.I have become deft at snagging items with the extendable boathook... But upon occasion, it calls for a little more hands-on to keep the moat clean...
Soooo....

Steer clear of the snappers.

Careful... that paper cup is down pretty deep... Don't disturb the jellyfish down there.

Hey- you missed a spot up under the sally port...
One sack full of moat trash later, we called it a day...

TBG out-

Onward, through the fog...

My friend Lee Anne (all around angel and wife to Buddy-sometimes-crew-sometimes-Captain of the Yankee Freedom 2) and I once exchanged foolish DRTO questions...
One of which was a complaint from a visitor "I didn't see many pretty fish when I was out snorkeling."
Oddly enough, working in the bookstore I have heard this complaint several times this past week.
They come in complaining about not not seeing turtles or pretty fish, so I ask where they went and what they *did* see...
Most of the time they say they only saw lots of seagrass...
Hmmm. Guess what- You didn't listen when the on-board naturalist told you to snorkle along the moat wall or over in the coaling dock pilings and you just flailed about in the beds of seagrass off the swim beach.
Hence, I have no help for you...
But... Interestingly, an afternoon or two ago, as people were getting on the boat to depart the island, a school of large (3' to 5') tarpon started cruising the shallows near the boat.
It was as if someone was standing in the wings directing the show:
"Ok... Visitors are on the dock...
Let's get the sooties and the noddys in the air... Good.
Nice- Allright- The frigates are on-station near the light house... Good.
Ok... Cue the tarpons... and... swim! Ok... Great show everyone..."


Amazing show, guys.

TBG out-

Time to play catch-up, little tomato...

A few items of note...

If you remember Salty- Capt. Rick's dog...

This is from April 2005, when she was just a pup...


(Note: Salty's the one with the orange collar. The Ranger in the pic is Ranger Sarah's Main Squeeze, Ryan.)

This is Salty today-

Queen of the Yankee Freedom 2...
Stay out of the wheelhouse unless you are bearing treats for the queen.

Speaking of Little Tomatoes

If you ever wonder about propigation of exotic species of plants in odd places,
(perhaps how a coconut came to be in Mercia...heh) I have a classic example for ya.
Under the picnic table where the Yankee Freedom 2 sets up for lunch, there is a little tomato plant growing and actually bearing fruit.

Me, I have a black thumb. Entrust me to water your houseplants for a weekend and they are done. Fini. They will have shuffled off their collective mortal coil and joined the choir invisible by Saturday post-tiffin. (And we take tiffin purty durn early in these parts, buckaroo.)
Here, someone drops a slice of tomato from their sandwich and a week later we have enough pomodoro for a 3-family spagetti dinner. Go figure.
(Personally, I think Dan is pouring the leftover pickle juice on the plant after lunch is over...)

TBG out-

Deteriorata...

Jeez, dude.


This place is falling apart...

TBG out-

Things that make you go Hmmmm....

Working in the Bookstore at Ft. Jefferson is interesting. As I said before, I will delve into the vast font of humor that it represents at a future time. Just for the moment I will pass along some words of wisdom that I got in an e-mail the other day and show how it relates to my current situation...

Situation:
Almost all the visitors out here at the Dry Tortugas wander around in their swimsuits all day...
Some have a towel or coverup, but most of the time not. Many of the women (mostly older women at that) that come in the bookstore looking for t-shirts, refregerator magnets, gewgawas and knick-knacks have undergone Augmentation surgery... And most of the time they are very proud of the results... Even it the surgery was done 10 or 15 years ago and mean ol' Mr. Gravity has been working to undo the doctor's fine work.
Hence we have many 50 and 60 year old women walking around in very brief (sometimes thong) bikinis...
(I will spare you the description of the very long-in-the-tooth sunbaked thong-wearing 65+ year old woman with her 20-something boy-toy... She wandered about with her beau on her arm showing off her waaaay-too-big vintage implants and her thong... Appearantly no one told her that wearing a thong is a privledge, and that she needed to get approval from the Thong Review Board before strutting her stuff around the island...)

Words of wisdom:

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with big perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Here endeth the lesson.

Tortugas Fishing Club

We have a bunch of kids camping here this week-
10 ADD/ADHD kid... They are a hoot...
The camp counselors took them fishing off the main dock
last night...



We had several other folks out there- the kids hooked up with a couple nurse sharks, some small snappers and a few baitfish...

A good time was had by all...

More later-

TBG out...

Overheard on the YF lunchline...

Tortugas Jack : "I was going through the commment cards the other day...
Someone wrote 'The chicken salad you served for lunch was terrible.'"

Cerwman Mike: "Think it was because we were serving tuna salad?"

TJ: "Maybe- Have you tried the tuna salad? It might be chicken."

Note to self: Steal food from Sunny Days, or do without.

TBG out-

Tropical Storm Alberto

Sunday afternoon...
Welcome to the Moist Tortugas.

(Click for full sized pic.)

TBG out-

Weapons Maintenance

So...
Ranger Sarah pulled the spare clips for her Sig out the other day...

Uh... Sarah?...


Is that rust or chocolate...?

TBG out-

Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season Is Like Christmas.

Seems like every time I come down here in June, we catch the first tropical storm of the season.

Last year.

Now we're riding out the feeder bands of Alberto...

It's a quiet day- no boats, no visitors.

Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season Is Like Christmas.

10. Decorating the House (Boarding up windows)
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (Camping gear, flashlights, etc)
8. Last-minute shopping in crowded stores
7. Favorite shows pre-empted by "specials"
6. Family coming to stay with you
5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling you
4. Buying food you don't normally buy... and in large quantities
3. Days off from work
2. Candles
And the number one reason:
1. At some point you know you are going to have a tree in your house

Stormy Weather

It’s been an exciting 36 hours here...

Friday morning was gorgeous here... unfortunately it was the calm before the storm.

Sunrise over Bush Key. Friday was a picture-perfect day here.

Too perfect, actually. Good weather brings other challenges.

2:30 AM Saturday- One of the campers came knocking.
Never a good thing.
As my buddy Pete says, “Good news sleeps ‘til noon.”
When I give the campers their orientation spiel, I always tell them that the Fort is closed from sundown until sunup. Only come inside the place if it is an emergency...
(Running out of ice, water, soft drinks, beer or cigarettes is not considered an emergency...)
“Hey- There are Cubans on the swim beach.” he says.

Lovely.

So, it had begun. 13 refugees, and one well-built chug. At 2:30!
Can’t these guys wait until at least 9 or 10 o’clock?

We rousted the Rangers and gathered Cubans at the dockhouse and while Sarah and Dan started the pre-processing phase, we went to deal with the chug.
We pulled the 15’ Whaler around to the swim beach, got a line on the chug and towed it around to the seaplane beach and pulled it up on the beach a little to keep it from washing away.

The Chug - With an Isuzu desel and a Volvo outdrive.

Sarah and Dan had moved the Cubans into the Fort and had them in one of the vacant quarters and were doing our basic aid package- give ‘em a place to wash the diesel fuel off, a change of clothes if they need it, basic first aid, some food and a place to sit and relax while the Coast Guard is enroute to pick them up.
I checked with them to make sure all was well, then hit the sack- it was about 3:45...
At 6:30 I was back up to check on the chug and to see how things were progressing with the Cubans.
Most of them were sleeping- they had told Sarah they were at sea 36 hours during the trip...

Sarah took 3 of the Cubans down to the beach as a work detail to clean out the chug…
I kept an eye on the 10 others while she had them bag all the refuse, trash, fuel bottles and other crap from the chug.
The Coast Guard cutter “ATTU” arrived at 7:30 to pick up the refugees-
From the “Things that make you go hmmmm” department.-
We had a little surprise after sunrise- the folks over on Loggerhead had another Cuban show up...
Just one guy. Said he was dropped off by a fishing boat...


The weather had started picking up- We had 20 to 25 knot winds and when I checked the weather sites it showed the tropical disturbance down off the Yucatan, heading north-northeast.
Things would be getting bad today and worse tonight and Sunday...
Lovely.

Well… I had 7 campers that night, but they were all scheduled to leave today… I didn’t know if any more were scheduled to arrive, but if there were any on Sunny Days or the Yankee we’d try to dissuade them from staying.
We started making plans on what we needed to do to prepare for the storm that was on its way…
I finished up the last of my morning chores then grabbed a quick bite for breakfast and headed down to the dock. When the ferries arrived they brought bad news: Campers. Quite a few.
And they had been drinking all morning... The captain of the Sunny Days said they had just pulled away from the dock when these guys broke out the Guiness and Corona...One guy was wearing about a pint of Guiness on his shirt. (I thought he'd ralphed on the way out. Turns out it was just spillage.) It was about a dozen young adults- 23-26 year-olds... An even number of guys and their girlfriends/wives... just staying one night.
Half had arrived on with Sunny and half were on the Yankee. I got them all together and gave them the news. We have a tropical storm on the way... "I’m not going to say you can’t stay, but the chances are that with the way the weather is, the boats will probably not be running tomorrow, and it will not be pleasant out here... It will be raining the whole time, very windy and you will be miserable."
The girls were happy about the news... I got the impression that the girls idea of ‘roughing it’ would be no room service at the hotel... The though of a place with no electricity or running water sounded like hell to them. But- they were being good sports about coming on the camping trip. To hear that they wouldn’t be staying was an answer to their prayers.
They guys vacillated a bit on whether to stay or go, but in the end good sense prevailed.
Later I had my turn in the barrel when I was elected to run the bookstore for a few hours. This is a font of hilarious questions and comments from the visitors...
There will be a whole post dedicated to the little slice of heaven that is the Bookstore...

Hunter- My bookstore assistant.

When the ferries left it was raining steadily and we had no campers. We had a half-dozen sailing and motor vessels in the harbor and a number of commercial boats on their way in to take cover from the weather.

By 4:30 in the afternoon we had winds steady in the 40 knot range and gusts to 55...
Textbook tropical storm conditions.
At 6:00 we decided to pull the 25 out of the water… our 25’ patrol boat. It was tied up at the dock, but with winds out of the southeast, the boat would be taking a beating all night.
We got the trailer hooked up and brought the boat around to the beach to yank it out of the water. We’d leave it on the beach, attached to the tractor in case we needed to launch it quickly...


Just after that we had a sailboat in distress... they had gotten tangled with another boat at anchor and had to cut their anchor line. They came to the dock to borrow an anchor... they took some damage sitting at the dock from getting slammed, but they got their new hook and headed out to get set before it got too dark.
A commercial boat was next; he lost his anchor when a shrimper out at the K-bouy dragged across his line... We didn't have any more spare anchors so Chuck gave him permission to tie up to one of the old markers in the North Channel. We wished them gook luck and we headed inside.
We got everything buttoned up for the night and went to sleep listening to the winds howl.

No boats tomorrow... No bathrooms to clean!

Life is good.

Famous- Out.

Flying Chugboats

It’s bad enough that the Chugs are coming ashore on a frequent basis, but now they are flying the chugs to the Dry Tortugas.

It is the Mariel Boatlift 2006…

The guys from the Helo Squadron over on Loggerhead are airlifting the chugs from over there and dropping them on the Helicopter pad so we can disassemble them…


Ranger Sarah and I were on Harbor Duty on Wednesday night keeping the visitors clear of the area while the drop was going on…


On Thursday afternoon they brought a few more over…

The have their work cut out for them…
Over on Loggerhead the chugs are half-buried…

they have to dig them out and get a cargo net around them and then the chopper lifts them off and flies them over here to Garden Key…

Pretty impressive sight…

One really good thing-

With these guys here doing training and test flights we probably won’t have any problem with Cuban migrants…

Hmmm... A new crop of chugs to play with...
I guess I better get my tools out.
Famous.

TBG out-

DRTO Day 1, Part 2

DRTO

We got in with no problems… the Rangers had a EZ-Go cart at the dock waiting for us so we were able to offload and tote all out stuff back to our quarters easily.
We had just got all our stuff into the room and were making the rounds, chatting with the visitors when Chuck and Willy rolled up with a gas stove on the Easy-go…
“Hey- can you help me take this stove over to Loggerhead?”
So 10 minutes later Willy, Hunter and I were on out way to Loggerhead Key in the patrol boat.
We offloaded the range and got it up the the volunteers quarters in record time… Hunter and I chatted with the volunteers (Phil and Bev) while Willie went over and talked with the guys from one of the Helicopter Squadrons from Patrick AFB. They are out here doing training exercises and staying on Loggerhead Key during their bivouac.

We got back to Garden Key in time to see the Sunny Days and the YFII off…
Afternoon chores went well…

Man- What a day.

TBG out-

Dry Tortugas

... or DRTO as it is referred to those who live out here.

I went home, packed my bag and staged all my pre-purchased stuff for the trip to be loaded quickly, then I headed out to do some last minute stuff while waiting for the PC… She had a baby-sitting gig on Tuesday, so she was due to be home at 3:30. I got back at 3:20 and loaded up my car, picked up the PC and we were on the road by 4:15.

We took our time on the trip- after all, the only deadline we had was load out on the Yankee Freedom at 6:30 AM.
We got dinner on the way down, stopped a couple times for gas. Hunter watched “Pirates of the Caribbean” on the DVD in my laptop was we drove down…
We hit Homestead/Florida City at midnight. I got a monster cup of coffee and kept driving. We arrived in Key West at 3:00 AM sharp.
We both snoozed until 5:00AM in the parking lot of the Winn Dixie and at 5 we went in and loaded up on all of our consumables/perishables- bread, hot dogs, lunchmeats, chicken, steak, fruit etc… Lots of tasty stuff…
We headed over to the harbor and moved all of our stuff to the Yankee. We went over to Harpoon Harry’s for breakfast- (passable, but I’ve had much better at worse places…)
They loaded up the passengers at 7:30 and we left the dock at 8:00…
Smooth ride- glassy water...
Many hands of 5-card-draw later we were disembarking at Garden Key.

Now comes the real fun…

BTW- Just for those keeping score-
Sunday night - 4 hours of sleep (Home)
Monday Night – 3 hours of sleep (Charlotte)
Tuesday night – 2 hours (in the car in the parking lot)

Guess who’s really really really tired…

TBG Out-

Carolina on my mind.

(Sorry James Taylor... I couldn't resist.)

Hector and I were in Raleigh for the first game of the Stanley Cup Finals.
A site survey to see how the broadcasters set up, how the Off-Ice Officials do their thing, some of the additional needs are handled by the League… Just a fact-finding trip.
Hector spent his time with Dan-O from the League and the Off-Ice guys


I spent most of the time up on the catwalk over the home and away benches,

working on a tool to help the scoring crew with getting Time-On-Ice info for the players in a timely and accurate manner.


What was a problem was the overall timing on the trip-
Up at 5:00 for a 7:00 AM direct flight to Charlotte,
(Yes, it was the most feasible flight to take- No direct to RDU, and any connected flight got us in much later than the CLT flight and the drive to Raleigh. Also they were more expensive…)
We got to the RBC arena at about 11:30-
We were there all day- with the exception of an hour for lunch at Damons, (100 yds from the Arena), game at 8:15, ending at 11:00pm.
We had a 9:00 flight out of Charlotte, so we decided to drive back after the game, rather then try to make the drive all the way after 3 hours of sleep in Raleigh… So we hit the road at 11:30 or so.
I was beat- I made it from Raleigh to past Greensboro, and when I couldn’t do any more, Hector drove the last 60 miles to the airport. We got in at 3:15 or so…
We got a room at a Fairfield Inn right at the airport and got a wake up call for 7AM; Hector set the alarm on his cell phone and I also set the bedside alarm for 7. I got 3 good hours of sleep on Monday night.
We got up on time, and made it to the airport with lots of time to spare…
I even got a bulkhead seat with no one in the center seat. Nice.

Back to Jax- Headed to the office to drop off my videotape with The CodeMonkey and set my Out-of-Office assistant for “never-coming-back” and I was outta there!

Off to the Stanley Cup Finals

Heading to Raleigh for the first Stanley Cup Finals game...

Hector the Connector & Yours Truly are heading to Charlotte then driving to Raleigh for the game...
Things that make ya go Hmmm: Is there a Hooters near the arena in Raleigh?

While you wait for any exciting content from the trip, I'll leave you with this Public Service Announcement:



Amazing out-

You MUST be kidding.

This crap is getting out of hand.

"Allah" ice cream banned.

The logo script is too much like the Arabic word for Allah, so BK is going to discontinue the product/package design...

Maybe they should replace it with the red cross of the Knights Templar, the compass and square of the Freemasons, and the six-pointed star.

See how the towelheads like that...


The story here.



Their frickin' egg-shell-thin sensitivities can take a flying leap at a rolling donut. The koran calls the entire non-mulsim world an infidel, ape, pig, polytheist or blasphemer, all of whom nust be put to death by the hand of a good devout muslim, but fanciful logos on Nike shoes, the Coca Cola script and even the time honored crescent moon on an outhouse door in a cartoon strip is just too offensive to their oh-so-delicate sensitivities.
No... BK will cave to the unwashed car bombers... Sad. Really.

Hey - You know... I guess the word "Allah" turned on it's side could represent sweet creamy goodness?

Oh well.

Famous, out-

Despair.com

Someone left an "inspirational" plaque on my desk last week...

Attitude - with a pic that shows matches igniting off each other.
the caption reads: "Attitudes are contagious - Is yours catching?"

1. You better hope not.

2. It reminded me of some of the "Demotivational" posters from Despair.com

I went back to their website and took a little trip down memory lane...

One of my favorites:



Some others I really relate to...

Procrastination

Quality

Worth

Potential

Dreams

Just keepin' it all in perspective.

Amazing out-

Hooters Girls

Stereotyping is not usually one of my character flaws.
(Operative term: usually)
But I'm not suprised when a Hooters Girl shows a way-below-average IQ or cultural literacy level, just as I can be suprised when one shows a glimmer of a lit brain cell or two.

Take today for instance...
I had to run down to see my Mom today, and on the drive back to Jacksonville I decided on a nosh as I went by Daytona.
I have a weakness for chicken wings... (an entire blog series will be devoted to this- my achilles heel- in the near future.) For instance, last year up in Augusta I got a pile of wings from Hooters take-out and went back to my humble abode and picked the bones clean, and received a moderate amount of guff about it...
"Who gets take-out from Hooters? The only reason ANYONE goes there is for the scenery."

Well... Today I had a hankering for a plate of Cajun spiced wings and I hit the Hooters on Int'l Speedway Drive since it was quite convenient to I-95. For a holiday weekend, and one with a major motorsports race in progress, the joint was pretty empty.
I sat at the bar and was shooting the breeze with one of the cooks, mostly about the actual ingredients of the Cajun spice mix they use on the wings.

The Sweet Young Thing (SWT) that was waiting on us n'er-do-wells at the bar was a bit clueless:
1. She took my order for my beverage (unsweet tea), walked away and forgot it and came back and had to ask a 2nd time.
2. Brought me sweet tea anyway.
3. Took my order. (10 Wings, Cajun, naked).
4. Came back again because she wanted to know if I wanted them mild medium or hot.
(Big Red Flag! They don't come mild medium or hot when you order Cajun wings.)
I asked what she had me down for...
"20 wings and cheese fries." SWT said
I gently corrected her:
"That's not my order. I'd like 10 wings, Cajun. Naked."
"Ok. 10 Cajun wings, naked. Got it." SWT says.
SWT walks to the machine (5 steps away) and punches in my order. It gets sent back to the Grillmaster...
"Hey man..." I called to the cook.
"Yo, What up Big Dog?"
"What's that order she just sent in?"
He looked at my the order slip.
"10 naked Cajun. That right?" he asked.
"Yeah. Thanks."
"You smart to check. She's not the sharpest pencil in the box. They ain't hired for their brains."


This is not the Sweet Young Thing.

He went off to fix my order and SWT came over to check on my unsweet sweet tea.
Deciding to do some behavioral research I engaged in some polite banter.
"Boy... Not very busy today."
"No... It's been dead all day. I bet I won't make 20 dollars in tips today."
(This is a strippers gambit. "I'm so poor, and today is going to be worse than usual." The problem is that the ploy works in a topless bar, it is frowned upon when you are trying to portray an upbeat, fun image like Hooters of America's PR Department wants.)
"Oh well. I guess it is to be expected on a holiday weekend."
"Oh, it's a holiday today?" SWT asks.
"Well. Not today, but tomorrow. Memorial Day. Memorial Day weekend?"
"Oh." Short silence.
I was going to ask about her concept of "Memorial Day" but I was a bit concerned about the answer- it could have gone anywhere from "No Clue" to a complete full-goose bozo 'Get-the-US-out-of-Iraq-at-any-cost' Anti-Bush anti-war screamfest, so I decided to change tactics.
"Hey- I have a question."
"Yeah?" SWT said, cocking her haed to one side, not unlike a cocker spaniel.
"You know, one the menu you have different kinds of wings- You know- mild, medium, hot, three-mile-island, 911, cajun, BBQ, asian... Do you know what the 'three-mile-island' ones are named after?
"Sure. Three Mile Island." SWT looked very happy with her answer.
"Yeah- but why is that a wing flavor?"
SWT looked at me like I was asking her to formulate an elliptical re-entry orbit path for a Earth-to-Mars lander.
"Oh. Uh. I think Three Mile Island is where they make this really hot sauce for the wings. I think it's in Louisiana somewhere."
Hmmm.
"Oh." I said.
"Oh look! The Indy 500 is on... I wonder if Jeff Gordon is racing today? I met him once. He's sooo cute." SWT confides in a conspiritorial tone.


This isn't her, either.

He probably is, Sugar. But not in Indianapolis.

Amazing out-

Random Axe of Cents-less Violins

Other crap that's been piling up in the "To be Blogged" folder:

If you remember a few weeks ago I was in Toronto with Paul and Stass...
I asked them for some photos they'd taken during the visit and one that I got from them kind of suprised me.

I don't know if you've ever seen the CN Tower in Toronto, but it is a masterpiece of modern engineering... 1,815 feet (553 Meters) it is one of the tallest man-made structures in the world.


Click for a larger (heh) view.

You can always rely on code pushers and engineers for high quality content.
Thanks guys.

Let's see, what else do we have?...
Oh yeah...

If you have the opportunity, go visit Wondermark by David Malki.
Great stuff over there...



More later.

Famous, out-

Whopperettes

Y'know...
I haven't been to BK in a good long while, and lately
I have been really creeped out by The Burger King...

This dude is scary.

But now, this gives BK an even deeper dimension
of bizarro-ness...

Whopperettes

Enter at your own risk.

Famous, out.

Noo Yawk City

Greetings, Constant Readers...

Just a few more days in the barrel and I'm outta here! Hooha!

Let's re-cap the last few days, shall we?

Sunday night I went to NooYawk...
A Delta flight through Atlanta. The best thing I can say about it was that I flew on 737-500s the whole way. Even got a bulkhead aisle seat on both flights. The next best thing to an upgrade...

New York was hit by a cold front over the weekend, so by the time I got there, 11:00pm on Sunday night, it was cold.
Not chilly.
Not comfortably cool.
It was cold.
Like 40s and a wind chill cold.

I had gone directly to the airport from the Perfect Child's soccer tournament on Jekyll Island, where it was 85 in the shade. I didn't bring a sweater, fleece, hoodie or even a long sleeve shirt. I froze my butt off all week. More on the weather later...

The Screenworks equipment truck made it to the site on Sunday afternoon. Saved us a few problems by getting in early.

The site is being struck by the construction workers union, so it is a bit of a sticky situation...

I really like the Giant Inflatable Rat...

In theory, one union can't cross another union's picket lines. By our truck arriving while the picketers weren't on-site, we avoided the ugly scene.

We crashed the gates on Monday morning and hit the court with our equipment and after one false start, we had our stuff up and running.


This is the 2-cube-high section. Think anyone will complain about their view?
If I'm paying a couple grand per game you can bet I will pitch a fit it that is in front of me...

Rallis and Ron (Butler) showed up around 10:45... Ron is our Graphics Wizard and Rallis is, well... Rallis.

Lunch was at Joey D's (5819 College Point, Flushing NY - 718 321-0408)
I bought luunch for the guys. I had a great hero- Sweet and hot sopresatta, fresh mozzarella, artichoke hearts, roasted peppers.
Wow. Awesome sandwiches.
I brought a meatball sub back for Rallis, just because I'm that kinda guy.
If you're working the US Open this year keep the number handy, they will deliver to the USTA site.

Post tiffin we did some testing and made some plans for some changes to the graphics we were going to use. We had dragged Ron Butler along...praise Cthulu... Had he not been with us, we'd have been in deep doo-doo. He was able to source some new logos and resize them to fit our ribbon board configuration.
Big, big kudos to Ron!

We called it a day and headed to dinner- a lovely little place on 108th called Parkside (108th Street and 51st Avenue,
Corona. (718) 271-9274)
Tommy Z from the USTA facility turned us on to it... The New Zeland Mussels were fantastic, Rallis had a stuffed artichoke & Mussels, Ron enjoyed a penne with broccoli, and I had Cherrystone clams with linguini. If you have the opportunity- definitely make the trip.

The next day we tweaked our graphics a little more, and I also got the chance to see our handiwork from the very top of the stadium.

Nice Diet Pepsi logo.

The wind was whipping and cold... It's a great spot for pictures though...


Shea Stadium from the top of Arthur Ashe


the New York Skyline


The Worlds Fair Hemisphere and "Men in Black" spaceships.


Armstrong Stadium.

When all was prepared and ready for the demo, we headed over to Mama's for lunch.
Leo's Latticini is known colloquilly as Mama's, 46-02 104th St in Corona. (718) 898-6069.

Latticini means "Dairy products", I think.

Ben Catoe took me here last year. The actual menu is pretty skimpy, but really you can get anything you want.
Some favorites:
Mama's Special- Proscuittini Salami, Mozzarella with mushrooms and peppers...
The Super Italian, Proscuitto, Sopresatta, Cappicola and Mozz...
If you go on Thursdays, you can get the once-a-week Roast Beef with gravy special.
Go stand in line behind the cops, firemen, city construction workers and several office types, then have your order ready.
Ron got the Super Italian, The Screenworks boys had Mama's Specials, and I got a Proscuitto, Mozz and roasted red pepper work of art. (Actually I got two, since I had to bring back one for Rallis.)
The sandwiches are amazing. If you are in the area, make sure you see Mama. And don't forget the bakery 2 doors down... Pick up a few biscotti for dessert. It's called Mama's Backyard, and it is as wonderful as the home office just up the street.
Be aware- Mama's is closed on Mondays.

We hauled ass back to the Stadium and enjoyed our lunch on-site, then got ready for the show.
We did our thing- the pony kicked his heels up and the doggy did his trick.


Nice Lexus logo thanks to Ron's magic with Photoshop...

Things went, well... as good as things like that can be expected.
In a group of people you will always have a cross section- some will like it, some won't.
If you make changes to appease the borderline people, you alienate some other number of the group.
All in all, it was pretty good.

We broke down the equipment and loaded out in record time-
I got Ron and Rallis to LaGuardia in time for their flight, then headed back to the hotel.
(FYI- the Wyndham near LaGuardia is a shithole. A convenient shithole, but a shithole all the same.)
I started thinking about dinner- a trip to Chinatown seemed inevitable, but instead I did a quick search on xiao long bao and found a listing for Joe's Shanghai Restaurant...(136-21 37TH Ave, Flushing (718) 539-4429)
I way overdid it... One order of tiny pork buns (xiao long bao - Little Dragon Buns, according to Jocelyn- my native Shanghai connection), an order of regular pan-fried dumplings, and a bowl of hot & sour soup.
Wow.
Double wow.
Mom.
EOE.
No more running into the depths of Manhattan if I'm on the east side of the river...
Now, if I can only find a place that makes xiao long bao in Florida.

I headed back to the hotel full and happy.

A had a couple meetings the next morning and a 3:15 flight out of LaGuardia. Too late for a good lunch- I grabbed another sandwich at Mama's and picked up a to-go box of biscotti to share with the guys back in the office. Ate my sandwich in the waiting area at the airport.

The flight home was the only dark spot on an otherwise pleasant trip...

Delta uses Comair for a LGA-JAX nonstop- flying Canadair Reigonal Jets. Tiny little toothpaste tube-sized planes.
Try as I might I could not get an aisle seat, let alone a bulkhead. It was just not in the cards for me to get a decent seat. If you fly the LGA-JAX trip, you know the "Gate 5A Drill" - Wait in the collective waiting area, where the passengers for Montreal, North Carolina, South Carolina, Ohio and Kentucky depart from.
When they call your flight, you troop off to a bus to be ferried to the plane.
Well... I missed the first bus- they cut if off just before the guy in front of me got on and we were told to wait for the next one. 15 minutes later (!!) another bus showed up to take the last 4 of us to the plane...
When I finally got on, there was no room for my one carry-on bag in the overhead, so it goes under the seat in front of my legs, thus obliterating any legroom I might have had.
The capper was the asshat next to me, who insisted in using a good 3 inches of my seat along with his. Normally I don't have a problem with this, I'd just lean the other way. In this case however, I was in the window seat- nowhere to lean.
To add insult to injury, if you are over six feet, the curve of the fuselage causes you to have to sit with yout neck bent to one side... So, Asshat is making it impossible to get any shred of relief from the pain in my neck and legs.

So... We finally get started and pull out to the taxiway where we are delayed. And I'm not talking about a 10 minute wait for gound clearance... I'm talking about more than an hour wait... So long that they pulled the plane to one side and shut down one engine to conserve gas.
We got a song and dance from the captain, weather delays over the Carolinas, blah blah blah.
Meanwhile my knees are screaming, my neck has a permanant 45 degree tilt to the left, and I am ready to pummel the businessman in front of me because every ten minutes he tries to recline his seat into my knees. After the 4th time, I'd had it with that bullshit.
I leaned close to his seat and said in a low, threatening voice:
"Sir. Push your seat back one more time, and I will hit you so hard you will be unconscious until headbands are back in style. You are breaking my knees."
No more trouble from him- at least not as we waited or during the flight itself.
(Asshat pretended not to hear the exchange, but he didn't alter his behavior either.)
We finally got in the air about 90 minutes late. I was hoping once we got in the air things might improve.
Nope. Not a chance, Homeslice.
As a matter of fact they got worse, this time in the form of air conditioning.
I have started wearing flipflops while traveling when possible, in order to hasten the security process and as much for my comfort as for those around me...
Trust me, you don't want me taking off my sneakers anywhere near you.
Let me assure you, a size 14 tennis shoe can emit a 10x10 toxic cloud in record time...
So I wear flip flops.
The down side- when the aircond unit on the plane is set for deep-freeze and the vents are near the floor, it can make for some frostbitten toes.

Well, It's a two hour flight...
By the time we were beginning out final descent, I had lost all feeling in the toes of both feet. My knees were on fire from being cramped in the same position for more than 3 hours. My neck was permanantly crooked, and my shoulders were in knots from trying to sit semi-sideways because of Asshat next to me taking up part of my seat.
(Asshat was one of those typical flying asshats...one that needs multiple special requests from the Flight Attendant to shut off his phone, put away his iPod, the bag needs to be UNDER the seat in front of you, not in the aisle... You know the type.)
Anyway... As we were circling to land I was in such a state of discomfort I was trying to figure out a way to punch Asshat in the solar plexus hard enough to stop his heart... I doubt I would have gotten in trouble for it.
Anyway- I was able to grit my teeth and made it to the ground without killing Asshat...
One good thing about Asshat, he did jump right up before (of course) the plane got to the jetway. He didn't go far, but at least he vacated the row and I was able to move my legs enough to restart the blood circulation...

The fun wasn't quite over yet. Appearantly the bonehead in front of me had spent the last two hours thinking of some cutting and meaningful retort after having been threatened with bodily harm...
After the flight he looked at me as he got up to exit the plane- I was still sitting down.
He had that look like- "This isn't over, buddy. Wait 'til we get off the plane."
What was funny was that apparently he didn't know what/who he was dealing with because after the flight, as I got off the plane he was outside waiting for his gate-checked bag to be delivered. When I get off those little planes, I gain about another foot or two of height, since I have to bend down almost double to walk down this aisle.
As I straightened up, he started to say something, then thought better of it... He found something in his briefcase needed attention as I walked by him...

I really wanted to do the old "I'm granting your wish" routine on him.
You know the old joke...
The two young rednecks get pulled over by the local sherrif. The Sherriff give the driver a ticket and after the kid gives him some lip, the Sherriff bitch-slaps him. The kid wisely shuts up, just wanting the episode to be over.
The Sherriff walks over to the passenger side and opens the door and smacks the other kid around.
"What was that for?" the kid whines.
"Just granting your wish, Sonny."
"What?" the kid says.
"Well, you know, when you guys drive away from here you were gonna look at your buddy over there and say 'Boy, I wish he'd done that to me, I'd'a shown him a thing or two.' So I'm just granting your wish."
He slams the door and the boys drive away.

Alas, with the humorless folk at the TSA and our friends at Homeland Security, I don't cause a scene at airports.

Oh well... Back in Jax again.

Just two more trips to go...

Amazing out-

Coming soon!

Preview of coming attractions:

Hair-raising details concerning my just-now finished expense report from Torino.

Just for good measure, I also finished the expense report for The Masters.

A sure-fire winner:
The trials and tribulations of 3 days in Flushing.
Video wall testing at Arthur Ashe Satdium, complete with pictures and everything!

Dinner at Parkside (Oh. My. Ghod.) and a trip to Joe's Shanghai in Flu Shing.
(No more trips to Bayard Street when staying in Queens.... Hoo Ha!

And the pièce de résistance...
The absolute worst flight I have been on in since... well... June 1980.
I came so close to Air Rage it was scary...
I'm not kidding.

Stay tuned, Constant Readers.


Famous, out-

Back in the windy city.

So I was back in Chicago again at the beginning of the week.

Two things of note.

Bad news: I lost my wallet.
The good news: I got it back intact.
Whew!
Note to self: Be careful while drinking in the hotel bar at the Marriott.

Second item of note-

Do not, no matter how inexpensive the room is, do *not* get a room at the Quality Inn in Schiller Park near O'Hare.

Why?
Glad you asked.


(Click for larger view)

The yellow circle shows where my room was...
My window was about 8 feet from 12 lanes of I-294.
There is no amount of soundproofing that will dampen the highway noise and the airplanes taking off every 3 minutes, 24 hours a day.

Famous the insomniac, out.

Sam Walton's revenge.

This is a rant that started a couple weeks ago while I was up in Augusta GA... I haven't had the time up until now to trot it out and polish it up. It finally floated to the top of the cesspool that I call a hard drive, so I have shined it up and now I present it to you, Constant Reader, in hopes of entertaining and educating you.

Sam Walton's revenge.

I think someone or something in middle-to-poverty class America did something to piss off Sam Walton.

I hate Wal-Mart. I hate their business practices. I hate shopping there. I hate that they are always open and so convenient. I hate that they really do have Everyday Low Prices. I hate the fact that if you drive 3 miles in any direction you will come across a Wal-Mart, Super Wal-Mart, or Sam's Club...
And I really hate the fact that they are trying to open yet ANOTHER one, this time right here at Jax Beach.

Don't we have enough of these places yet? Haven't they driven enough small business owners to bankrupcy or insanity by trying to compete for the American Retail Dollar? They are the retail equivalent of immigrant labor- so cheap and plentiful that American businesses can't compete in the same market.

Unfortunately, my travel schedule and equipment needs have forced me to visit literally hundreds of Wal-Marts across this great country. I’ve seen rural, urban, and suburban stores in everything from wealthy to dirt-poor neighborhoods. One of my favorites was in a small Tennessee town where the only restaurant was at Wal-Mart. So every night I would get to eat dinner from their deli.
Another favorite was the one in a wealthy Phoenix neighborhood where a bunch of ‘cool’ white boys would always hang out in the parking lot wearing their G-Unit clothing calling each other 'nigga'. I even had the opportunity to visit the Everyday Low Price purveyor outside of the United States. Actually, Mexico was the nicest, bathroom attendants and all. However, one thing remains the same; if I must go I try to do it during the daylight hours. I dread having to go there after dark and will usually avoid it at all cost, but every now and then something comes up that forces me to do this.

So here I am again, almost midnight on a Wednesday night April in Augusta Ga, this time for office supplies. Lucky me, at this store the office supply department is located in the far back end of the store. The fun begins before even setting foot in the building. The parking lot is kind of a teaser. It primes you for the real nightmare within. Of course, there is nowhere to park. This gives me plenty of time to enjoy the pregame show as I walk the five blocks to the front door.

Oh, look at the cute little baby walking around (alone) in the parking lot with nothing but a diaper on. Look at this nightmare on my left, she’s pushing fifteen and only has two kids; her biological clock must be screaming! Wow, look at that hotty sporting the Prada jacket and the fake tits. Sure, her son looks like a Garbage Pail Kid with the classic dirt ring around the mouth, but she ain’t gonna find no daddy for that baby if she ain’t looking fine.

Look, there’s Skeeter and Bubba doing a brake job on a classic ‘86 Ford Tempo here in the parking lot. Over there, see the kid riding a bike with the pacifier in her mouth.
Wow, look, what a cool dad, sitting in his Escalade with the windows up smoking a joint in front of his fifteen kids. Check it out, he’s even letting them watch porn on the 12 flip-down LCDs. They might not get enough sleep tonight, but they are having fun, and that’s what matters, baby: Quality time with the family.
I finally make it to the door. In this neighborhood I know better than to expect grandpa welcoming me- oh no, instead there is Juanita shooting dirty looks and mumbling in Spanish. Upon entering, one thing (other than the rancid smell) jumps out at me. Let’s say that if in the average Anywhere USA town, the ratio of normal to ugly people is 10:1. I’m even using the word ‘normal’ conservatively. I don’t know what it is, but if you want to see more uglies in three minutes than in an entire year in the normal world, stop by. As the night moves on, the ratio rises exponentially. It’s like living in an "Outer Limits" episode.
The time slot from Midnight to six AM is called the Graveyard Shift for a reason... That's when the Zombies and the other Undead come out to walk the aisles.

Playing tonight.. The Freaks of Nature.
Once inside I’m reminded of one of those freak shows at the state fair, where you pay a quarter and walk from booth to booth and stare at the oddities of nature. Step right this way, you will see a child snatched off the ground by his arm. He will be beaten within an inch of his life after not heeding his mother’s warning that she would ‘go upside his head’ if he didn’t put that bag of candy down.
While passing the drink coolers, notice the young urban males drinking grape soda to quench their severe cottonmouth.
Try to make your way quietly through the Sporting Goods & Auto Supply aisles. You may catch a glimpse of an authentic mullet-wearing redneck stocking up on ammo and fishing lures for the Klan retreat next weekend. While there you may have the opportunity to eavesdrop on a heated argument over who will win this week’s NASCAR race.
As you walk through the Shoe department it is surprisingly quiet. It just so happens that they don’t sell many shoes in this store (big surprise).

Office Supplies are located next to the Pet department; the journey is half over. Try to avoid the cat lady who has three carts filled with cat food and kitty litter. She is covered in cat hair and smells like piss after a day of being sprayed by her fully intact male cats. On top of that she is very lonely, making for a very scary combination.

Finally the checkout line! Now, there’s no secret how Wal-Mart keeps those Everyday Low Prices rolling. I have read numerous case studies about the logistical magic they have created, and how they can buy such enormous quantities that they get larger discounts. While this all plays a part, I think their biggest secret is to keep the store open, but let all of the employees go home after 9:00PM. Apparently the invention of the self-checkout line made this possible.

It's around 12:30 AM and there are two human cashiers and about 750 people waiting in line. I figured I would hit the self-checkout to get out before daybreak.
Coming to this store was a bad idea of epic proportions. Trying to use the self-checkout is compounding my error. My mind keeps trying to analyze the suation as I watch these Darwin Award rejects try to operate the Self Checkout. The use of the self checkout register is usually reserved for those technically savvy customers with a few items that want to get out quickly.
Heh. Right.
It’s kind of an unwritten law that if you cannot operate an ATM or drive a car, do not attempt to self-checkout. The invention of the scanner and touch screen proved to be too complex for 98% of the people in line. Lucky for me, I got stuck behind a woman who for some reason needed to purchase 37 shower curtain liners, 14 bottles of baby oil, a case of shaving cream and an executive office chair; Listen to Uncle Jay, I'm not kidding. There is some screwed-up shit that goes down in this world that I don’t even want to know about. I’m forced to sit there and watch her little Vienna sausage fingers scan each of her items individually and try to think about something other than what she may do with it all when she gets home.

Finally back outside, I walk the five blocks past the same crowd (because I think they never go home) and into the serenity of my Blue Toaster. Thank God. Sam must be looking up and laughing at me, enjoying his revenge.
I say to myself I will never do that again, but somehow, just like a promise to never drink after a class 3 hangover, I know it cannot last.

Amazing out.

My week in the barrel...

This past week was just like old times.
A day here, a day there, early flights and marginal hotels.

We got the word late last week that we (IDS) were awarded the contract for the NHL's new scoring system, and we would be hitting the ground running with analysis and planning sessions.
(I'm heading up the deployment side, installing the new equipment in all the arenas around the league.)
After that, the guys at the NBA called and said the new WNBA team in Chicago needed to have their arena fitted out to use the stats system and they also wanted support for opening night. (For those interested in that type of thing, they will be playing in the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC) Pavilion on Racine Avenue.

We also scheduled some of our NHL planning meetings for the first week of May.
I really only needed to be involved with one of the meetings, an operations meeting in Toronto, but I also needed to meet with the guys from the Arena Ops department at the NBA in regards to Finals on-site support and some pre-season stuff...

So I arranged my week as follows:
Monday PM - To NYC
Tuesday - Meetings at NBA and NHL.
Wednesday - To Chicago. Site survey, equipment test at UIC Pavilion.
Thursday - Site survey United Center (NHL Position) and travel to Toronto.
Friday - NHL Meetings- Tour Air Canada Center (Arena) and meet w/ NHL personnel.
Saturday - Fly home.

The week actually started last friday (28th) when I got word that
some missing equipment had been recovered up at A Nice Golf Course.
Glory Be!
I had been losing sleep and a good portion of my sanity because of this equipment, and here it is- safe and sound... 250 miles away, but at least it wasn't on E-Bay or in a pawn shop in Birmingham.

So... Sunday- I drove to Augusta to pick up the equipment and drove it back to Jacksonville...
(Anyone want to guess where I had lunch...? Heh.)

Got back to Jax at 7:30 or so.
Spent Sunday evening planning and packing.

Monday I delivered the missing equipment back to it's rightful owners, who were elated to have it home again.
My flight to EWR was at 12:30- and I stopped in at the office to have a 30 second chat with my boss (whom I haven't seen in two weeks...)
I headed for the airport, taking the 9A extention on the east side of Jacksonville.
That road is open now, it only took 22 minutes from the time I got on JTB unitl I was pulling in at Super Saver Parking.
I used to allocate 45 minutes to an hour for travel to JIA... That new part of 9A from JTB to the Dames Point Bridge is nice!! A noon time departure was fast and easy.
We'll have to see what it's like during rush hour...

The flight was uneventful, and I did get and upgrade, so I had that going for me...
Dinner at the Outback in Secaucus NJ. Drinking with the Captain, an excercise in Time and Tides...
Tuesday came really, really early. Almost painfully so.

I had my meetings with John and David at the NBA, hooked up Dan from the NHL with the boys at the NBA to discuss in-arena issues, and had lunch with one of my victims from NBC over in Manhattan.

Restaurant Review # 1
Prime Burger
5 E. 51st St.
New York , NY 10022
Phone: (212) 759-4729


I had lunch at a place called Prime Burger down on 51th st.
The place has been around forever. Cool, polite waiters dressed in white jackets and bow ties.
They crank out a great basic burger in a no-frills environment. If you've had your fill of delicatessens and fast-food chains try this place. Get the onion rings instead of fries... A nice change from the ordinary.

---

One more meeting back in Secaucus at 4:00- we ironed out some details for Chicago and some items for off-season support and one or two more NBA/WNBA gigs.

I was trying to decide on what to do for dinner... The Hooters in Paramus or Greenfields in Hakensack, when it hit me... I'm a stone's throw from the best Chinese food outside Beijing... I saddled up and headed down to Canal Street.
The only slowdown heading to Chinatown was going through the Lincoln Tunnel, and even that delay was fairly brief...


I went to my favorite in NYC- New Green Bo on Bayard Street.


One order of Xiao Lung Bao-(soup dumplings),

and I tried something different on the menu- Tung Po Pork... A hunk of skin-on pork shoulder cooked in red sauce (Chinese red sauce, dummy. Not marinara...) and served with soft white buns and bok choy. Ambrosia!


Next time you're in NYC, go to New Green Bo. Listen to Uncle Jay- he wouldn't steer you wrong.

I stayed in the Holiday Inn in Secaucus on Monday night, due to it's proximity to the NBA office. I had a 6-something flight, so I moved out to a Days Inn out at Newark Airport... Less expensive and much closer to the airport so I would be able to get 15 extra minutes of sleep... 30 minutes if I fueled the rental car the night before.
No Interwub, though. Bummer.

You know you're spending too much time in hotels when:
Road Warriors who spend days and days on the road have their quirks about hotels and associated phobias. We also have bad habits that we use to entertain ourselves.
One guy I know, after taking a hot shower, writes on the bathroom mirror "Hello Bob." on the off chance that the next guy in the room will be Bob and will see this ghostly writing in the mirror after taking his shower.
I've adapted this to be a little more vague, and hence, a little more widely applicable.
I write "I'm watching you." on the mirror, and usually up near the top, in case the housekeeping staff actually cleans the mirror.

Heh.

The flight to Chicago was OK... It was an Embraer 145. A commuter jet.
Man, I hate these little boxes. Besides being really small, there is no chance for an upgrade. Bummer.

Got into Chicago without delay and I headed for the arena. Morning traffic was over for the most part. I got off the expressway and found a wifi hotspot and checked my mail and did some other on-line chores, then found a donut shop near the arena and killed another hour drinking coffee and doing a crossword until time for my meeting at UIC.

I met with Marc Grossman, one of the original "Gang-of-Four" statisticians with the NBA. He and I worked with Tomas, the local IT guy and we detailed the site in preparation for the game on May 9th. I made notes on additional hardware needs and cable runs for game time. This will be a piece of pie. Easy as cake.
The first game is on May 9th... Hoohoo! Another day in the City That Works.

I headed out about 3:30 and found my Hotel- the Howard Johnson's on LaSalle St.
Jeebus! What a shithole. It must have been nice back in 1950.
The place was scary...but not scary enough to bail on my reservation.
That hadn't fininshed changing the cobwebs in my room so I went across the street and had an adult libation- Captain's Orders... and after 2 good ones, I went back to the hotel and checked in.

Restaurant Review # 2

Sal and Carvao
739 N. Clark St.

A churrascaria...and a pretty good one. The salad bar was nice but unimpressive- the award for best salad bar still goes to Churrascaria Plataforma in NYC on 49th st.
The chorizo, sirloin and pork tenderloin were pretty good, the picana is very good but Rodizio Grill in Denver and Salt Lake City are better for that cut, and the flank steak was excellent. The bacon-wrapped filet tenderloins were excellent, but the bacon/chicken combo was so dry you had to eat it in the rain.
And alas, no grilled pineapple.
It was a bit overpriced, but overall it was very good.
My favorite is still Texas De Brazil in Orlando... They are a tough show to beat.
Next week, there is a Fogo de Chao a block away on LeSalle... I want to give them a shot... I'll let you know how it goes.

With a full stomach I slep like a baby... Up every two hours, and I even wet the bed. Oh well...

Thursday morning I had a quick breakfast at the Billy Goat Tavern... If you remember the old SNL skit with Belushi and Akroyd- "Cheezborger cheezborger- No fries-cheeps. Coke, no Pepsi". This place needs a complete 'blog post all it's own. If I get over there on my next trip, I'll post the tale.

I went to the United Center to have a chat with one of my favorite ex-STCs, Bob Gorman... Bob was our man in Chicago for several years. He and his minions have always been at the the top of technology when it comes to team and arena applications and equipment. I wanted to have a peek at their Stats position for the NHL Blackhawks. Bob gave me the nickel tour and we shot the breeze for a bit and chatted about sports technology... Just like old times...

I headed to the airport in time to catch an earlier flight for the first part of my flight Toronto... My original afternoon flight had me getting into Cleveland with a 20 minute turnaround for my flight to Toronto... Nowhere near enough time. This new flight got me in to Cleveland with nearly 3 hours layover. I'm really glad I took it...
It took fully 30 minutes to get from arrival gate to departure gate.

As I waited for my flight I got a call from Paul, trying to coordinate our schedule for the next day... We compared schedules- I would get in at 8:00, and he and Stass (The Code Monkey - Famed in song and story) were arriving there at 10:30. PM. At night. Heh.
I laughed at them, thinking that I would cruising in the hotel bar with the Captain as they were wrestling with Customs and Immigration... Fat chance, Big Guy.

They called back a little later, tempting me with promises of food and booze if I would pick them up at the airport and transport them to downtown Toronto...
(Did I mention my hotel was near the airport?)
So... Pick them up around 11:00 or so, chauffeur them the 25km or so downtown, booze up for a bit, eat some late night pubchow, then drive back out to my hotel?
I reluctantly agreed...
We wound up at 11:30 downtown Toronto, swilling Communist beer (Some obscure red ale) and eating from the late-night menu at a really nice place called The Irish Embassy... Very reminiscent of The Ginger Man in Manhattan...

Try it out.

I got home at 1:30.
Dan-O breezed into town around 10 the next morning.
(Guess who picked him up at the airport. You have 2 seconds. Go.)
We (Dan, Paul, Stass, and Yours Truly) spent the better part of the day in the Air Canada Centre and in the NHL offices working on our little project.

About 3:00 we got on the road- They had 5:00 flights going back to NY and Florida... I tried to get mine changed, but it would have cost me 1000+ dollars... Screw it.
I dropped the boys off and went back to the Hotel and did some e-mail...
I did a quick search for Shanghai cuisine in Toronto and found a place called Ding Tai Fung...

7:45 found me in Markham - about 30km east of the airport in a busy shopping center. The entire place was one Asian food restaurant after another. Little take-out places, big sit-down places full of families, a couple places that specialized in Peking Duck (next time!), noodle shops, dumpling houses, and little Asian groceries.
Ding Tai Fung was good. The Xiao Lung Bao were as good, if not better than New Green Bo, as were the regular pan-fried dumplings... I had a big bowl of hot and sour soup... nice chunks of pork, big slices of black cloud mushrooms, tofu, egg threads, not too hot... Very good...
So mark it down:

Ding Tai Fung (Shanghai Dim Sum)
First Markham Place
3235 Hwy 7 East, Unit #18B (at Woodbine)
Markham, Ontario
L3R 3P3
905-943-9880

I cleared customs the next morning without incident, and made it to Newark and thence to Florida in short order, arriving just in time to go see Hunter play in her rec league soccer team's All Star game...


Man... What a week...
And next week's is no better...

Famous- Out.