If you were ever worried about my sanity or my mental stability, this little missive ought to drive the last nail into the coffin.
The Code Monkey asked me to do a recap of the Beijing Olympics for the IDS Fall All-Employee meeting.
When I got the request I was in Stockholm, under the influence of blonde girls, sleep deprivation, herring and aquavit...
Here's my reply:
"No one told me anything about the All-Employee meeting-Boy, I have no recollection of writing or sending that...
What is the plan, who should I talk to?
Hell, I've written stories, poetry and blogs on that nightmare...
What else do you want from me, maybe a Broadway musical production?
Something like "16 days in Beijing: Medals in Memory of Mao"?
A big song and dance number with Steven Sondheim-style kick line?
Numbers to include "Steroid Blues", "Can't Pass the Baton or the Drug Test", "Where is My IP?", and the ever-popular "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park".
Or maybe a Greek chorus - kind of a dramatic reading...
Mickey Spillane meets Edna St. Vincent Millay -
"Dick Ebersol's Communist Plot"
Sample:
Hero: "The BOCOG guys are driving me past my limits..."
Chorus "No Access! We cannot help you!"
Hero: "Virus protection, build dates out of spec. Where is the Image?!"
Chorus: "No stats, no connection! You shall not pass!"
Villain: "Bwhaha! All changes, no notice! Kill the feeds and the encoders!"
Chorus: "Anarchy! Anarchy! NBC - Nothing But Communism! Where is the broccoli?"
All: "Mai Wen Ti! Mai Wen Ti! There is no shuttle bus! March to the Media Village!"
Chorus: "Tramp...tramp...tramp"
Hero and Villain fight scene: Hero armed with Cat5 crimper, Villain drives a tank covered in lo mein noodles and brown sauce.
Hero prevails, Heroine appears.
Heroine: "Cowgirl cowgirl! You want massage?"
Chorus: "Tramp...tramp...tramp"
Hero: "Where is the broccoli?"
Curtain - End of act 3
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
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