Blogoversary

One of my favorite bloggers recently hit a milestone...
Brigid, of Home on the Range is celebrating her fourth anniversary of starting her 'blog... 7 million readers over the years!

Go visit her site...
A black-lab owning redhead with a passion for writing amazing prose and sharing her prodigious catalog of recipes with her readers is a treat not to be missed.


(And speaking of that, check out the recipe for her Disappearing Appetizer...
I'm made this, and I'll tell you, the stuff is addictive as crystal meth.
And try the Guinness Shepherd's Pie. OMFG. )

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Proverbs 26:11

As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

Hi y'all. I'm back.


I've had quite a few emails, text messages, carrier pigeon notes, phone calls, and in one case, a cryptic query engraved on the side of a 5 gallon plastic bucket, all on the same subject.

To wit:
Dude, what's up with your website?

Well, let's just chalk it up to paranoia.
I shut down access to the 'site to avoid having my own words turned against me.

(After all, these days, even the most innocuous of words can be twisted, turned and taken out of context, and it will thrown back in your face as evidence of your racism and/or lack of cultural sensitivity.
A non-related example: Go look up the word "furniture" on Urban Dictionary.)

I had a long screed written up about the events of the last few months but after editing, tweaking, re-proofing, and re-editing it, I gave up on it because it became a just a hideously circular argument that revealed one of my character flaws...

I know, it's hard to believe that I have flaws, but stick with me here...

I am a bigot.

Shocking, eh?

Bigot:
noun
a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.

My bigotry is that I am intolerant of anyone that is so lazy that they will vilify others in order to get out of work, or use spurious excuses to evade their responsibilities, or to use tired inaccurate characterizations advance a hidden agenda.

Fuck every one of those motherfuckers.
Twice.
Hard.
With a ten-foot, wrought-iron, curare-tipped, barbed-wire dildo.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I - Me - My

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sheeps

Walking through random airports last summer everyone was toting one of GRRMartin's tomes. 
3 weeks ago, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting someone reading one of the Steig Larsson's "The Girl Who... " books.
This week the status read is Susan Collins' Hunger Games books...
Damn.
I have catching up to do.

TBG, sitting, waiting.

You Keep Using That Word...

I don't think it means what you think it means.
Friday Conference Call Puzzler
We were on a call discussing a new project phase that in several cities will require extending fiber-optic connectivity from one location to another spot in the facility.
As a rule it would only be a extension of 10 to 30 meters.

Random participant:
"Do we know how many locations need extensions to the fiber?
We could make up some tactical fiber segments in generic lengths and have them available to the install teams."

I missed the next 2 minutes of the call as I was thinking of how a set of  rails, a collapsible stock, a red dot sight and maybe a flash suppressor installed on a 25m coil of six-strand singlemode fiber would make installing our hardware easier...
TBG

"Hey Julius-

...what's buggin you, man?"
"I don't want nobody around me like yon Cassius, for he has that lean and hongry look. Dude looks like a hound dog in search of a charcoal-broiled sow's snout."

The Ides of March
Beware them.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Ew. Just ew.

Overheard in the car:
TBG: "That must be a bakery or something."
JR: "I don't know... Could be an underwear store."
TBG: "Uh...Wow. That's pretty gross."

Want!

Although I really will look like a big damned bear from the circus riding around on this thing...



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Personal Philosophy

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Airport Ruminations

-or-
Put on your shocked face, The Big Guy is going to say disparaging things about the TSA.

Ready....Go.

 So, two Testicle Squeezers are on station at the boarding gate as they are loading the flight for Charlotte at 6:15am, giving everyone the Hairy Eyeball.
They are wearing their 30 minute "Behavior Evaluation" on-line course like it's a 8-year degree in behavioral psychology and analysis from Harvard...

About every 6th or 7th person is waved over and a quick bag check is done - they spend 5 seconds looking in the Lucky Traveler's carry-on.

So... Tell me, Nut Jugglers, is this how we're staying "one step ahead" of the Threat to American Skies?
The implication is that by checking inside bags at the door of the plane, you are admitting that you didn't do a good job at the main checkpoint and you obviously missed something.
And what makes you think that you will find something with a 5 second glance that an X-Ray couldn't detect back when we went through Mag & Bag?

TSA - Dumbassery On Parade.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

What It Feels Like...

...when my alarm goes off at 4:00AM, and I have to leave to have
my testicles fiddled with at the airport.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tolerance?

Well...
That's a new one.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Waddaya Know?

Whoda thunk it...?
The Testicle Squeezers at Pittsburgh Int'l actually accepted the NEXUS card as ID this AM.

Color me amused.

TBG, at gate...

Evil Petroleum Company

So... Is it possible that Satan really does own an oil company?







TBG

Nightmare Generator

The decor in this hotel room has an arrangement of floral photos that are colorful and interesting...



















But at 3:30 AM the pictures become a angry visage, glaring at me as I blearily look around the room trying to find out 1) where I am, and 2) why I'm up at 3:30.
(The answer to #2, is because I can sense I'm being stared at, obviously.)
The housekeeping staff is going to wonder why these pictures are going to be found in the minibar tomorrow morning when they come in to clean the room.

TBG

The Past Week - TL;DR

 Well... I know it's been a quiet week here at the old 'blog.

I've been busy...sorry.

On Monday I had to do a little equipment install down in Tampa, so I took advantage of the weather and rode my bike down...

On the way down I had the pleasure of driving through this little slice of heaven...


Both Waldo and Lawtey FL are speed trap city, as anyone going from Jacksonville to Gainesville for a Florida Football game will tell you...
Having traveled this road a couple hundred times in the last 30 years I know not to tempt fate...

I did my thing in the St. Pete Times Forum and then got a bite-
The Woman and the Perfect Child suggested a place that was featured on Diners, Drive Ins & Dives- Danny's All American...
I had their Mojo Cuban sandwich- marinated cuban pork- tasty!

I headed back north- staying off the interstates as much as possible...


I made my way through some nice canopy roads in central and north Florida...

On Tuesday I was back on the road, or more precisely, back at the airport...

I have been following the tales of The Mighty Skunk and his fortunes with the Trusted Traveler / NEXUS system...
I started my paperwork back in September and finally got tentative approval in November, only needing to have my in-person interview somewhere in or near Canada to get my NEXUS card...
When I was in Detroit a couple weeks ago I was able to schedule some time for my interview and finally cleared the last hurdle...
It was touch and go for a bit... They want to know the details on all your youthful shenanigans... And I have had more than my share of hijinks when I was a young'un. And some when I was not such a young'un... And they have access to everything- even stuff that is expunged and had records sealed. Scary, really.
Customs Guy: "So, Mr. Young, tell me about this charge in 1985 - assaulting a law enforcement officer."
TBG: "W-w-w-what? That charge was dropped!"
CG: "Not from OUR records."

Note to would-be applicants for the Trusted Traveler/Global Entry Program-
No prevarication... They know everything.

So I got my NEXUS card in the mail and was looking forward to using it, to see if I would be able to clear the fast entry line at JAX...


(image from Homeland Security Theater)
Yeah- No.

It did get me into the preferred traveler line, but the TSO at the primary checkpoint declined it as a form of ID.
Not only did she decline it, I was treated with such rudeness that it bordered on abuse-
You'd have thought I was trying to use my Costco card for ID...
She chastised me soundly... I took it stoically- making note of her name and some of her choice phrases, planning on speaking to her supervisor.

Which I did...
And her supervisor was also ignorant of the DHS's rules, telling me that this card was not acceptable- that it wasn't even issued by our government...
(Because there is french terminology on it, I guess.)

Dumbassery on parade- I guess the TSA agents spend their time learning how to cup a guy's testicles correctly, rather than know their own  guidelines.


(Notice the change in terminology- no more Concealed Carry Permit)

She made quite a show of inspecting my card, then making a photocopy of it and writing several notes on it...
Good thing too, since I spent the next two hours on the TSA website filing a carefully worded complaint about the attitude and knowledge level of the TSA screeners. I wonder how long it will take for my complaint to filter down, if it ever does.

Hopefully my next TSA experience will be more pleasant...but I doubt it.

The next few days were a whirlwind-
I flew into Philly Tuesday AM- went to Wells Fargo Arena, drove through Manhattan up to Long Island, loaded my SUV with equipment Wednesday morning,
drove back to Manhattan, picked up JR, drove to Newark and visited the Prudential Arena.

It's a new facility, and the guys that work there have a sense of humor-



A little juvenile, but a sense of humor none the less.

We went on from there- we headed down to DC to install equipment in the Verizon Center... I haven't worked in that arena since December of 1997.
Thursday and Friday we did the install, and I headed to the next location-
Pittsburgh.

Just outside of DC the temp went from 50 to the low 20s very quickly.



Then the snow started...



Fortunately the SUV has all-wheel drive...
I got into Pittsburgh with a minimum of problems.
We start installing our gear here tomorrow. 6:00 departure time from the hotel.
Yay.
The old Mellon arena is across the street from the hotel...
What's left of it, anyway...


Not pretty.
Spent a good amount of time in there...
It was a pretty unique arena.

Ah well...
Onward - through the fog.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Petulant Pup

Evil Pup is evil.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Error Messages for Real Life

I wish Life really was this helpful...





















TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Giving New Meaning to the Term "Riding Bitch"

"Just because you don't have a car doesn't mean you can't take me to the Dog Park, Big Guy.."

Sunday Morning Recoil Therapy

Bang bang bang.

I Guess It Happens More Often Than We Expect...

On my way downstairs in the elevator at 6:15 this AM, the car stopped on the 5th floor.
A woman got in and jabbed the Lobby button.
"Don't. Ask." She said in a commanding tone.
She was barefoot, wearing only white panties and a t-shirt...
She stood there looking at her feet, muttering to herself.
Not relishing the thought of an angry snap-kick in the cojones, I kept my questions and quips to myself, thankewberrymuch.
She purposefully strode to the front desk and as I walked by I could hear the quite obvious explanation...
"I've locked myself out of my goddam room..." she told the girl at the desk, who listened without a snicker or smirk.
Wow...
TBG, off to the arena... What city is this?

Subtle Shift

...or maybe it's not so subtle.
I was perusing the magazine (not clip) rack at Logan this AM to conclude a not-very-scientific study on behavior modification.
To wit:
In the airport in Jax, Raleigh-Durham, Columbus, and in fair Beantowne, you can't find a firearm-oriented magazine (not clip) on any newsstand. No Field & Stream, no Guns & Ammo, nothing with potential to make the sheep uncomfortable...
(You can get all manner of porn, of course- Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, People, Food & Wine... But all that is politically correct.)
Is it by the TSA's urging? After all, I'm sure the "if you see something, say something" busybodies have a field day when they see someone like me reading a periodical on full-auto revolvers, survivalist/miltia fashion options, and color-coordinating your reloading bench.
I guess you can't have a gun, anything that looks like a gun, or even have a picture of a gun at an airport these days.
I did find some firearm-related items- a gaming fanzine with a first person shooter character on the cover (dual wielding a pair of Desert Eagles, forsooth) and several "opinion" rags with ominous articles - "Handgun in the House? WTF is wrong with you?" kinda stuff.




















Of course, a sampling of article teases on the covers of the remaining mags (not clips) are just an exercise in puzzlement...
"Look better naked"
"Sexy abs and butt"
"Sex-Shopping-Beauty-Gossip"
"Look fabulous for less"
"Sex Quiz"
...and these are from GQ, Mens Health, Esquire and Newsweek.
I'm embarassed to tell you the hilighted articles on the cover of Cosmo, Vogue, Vanity Fair & Glamour.
TBG, Gate 32, singing the JetBlue Blues.

Get Thee Behind Me, Satan...

I'm first in line here at Temptation Central...

I Knew It Would Happen Eventually

Who didn't see this one coming:
I spent the night in jail...
The Suffolk County Jail.

Legacy Computer Hardware

Boy, that's an old drive...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I, For One, Welcome Our Flying Nanobot Overlords...

If you can watch this without hearing "Ride of the Valkyries" in your head, you have no imagination, (or never saw Apocalypse Now).


This ought to worry you more than any shoebomber or whatever boogeyman the TSA is hyping this week...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Ice Ice, Baby (with additional TWSS goodness)

Don't disrespect the Garden...

Bonus TWSS:
JR: "...I should still be in bed."
TBG: "That's what she always says."


TBG - In the Gaaah-den.

Similar but Different

Wow-
The new Terminal 2 at RDU
Looks a lot like some of European and Asian airports....
(Especially PEK T3 and PVG)



Lots of flowing curves and aisle-style non-dedicated check-in counters...

TBG - 4:30 wake up call, please.

Comfort...

...not.

This is why I request the bulkhead/aisle...




Ow.
 
TBG - not the happiest camper this AM.

I Feel So Much Safer...

...with Barney Fife here on patrol.
I think he has the ersatz Segway because it makes him taller.
Even with him riding his scooter I'm still taller than he is...
I'm no behavioral psychologist (but I play one on teh Intarwebz) but from the personal interactions I have seen from this guy, he has a tiny penis and/or a huge Napoleon complex.
He rides his scooter to gates where flights are boarding and positions himself to observe, or more precisely, BE observed in his role as Protector of the Homeland.

The most distressing interaction was him dressing down an older woman whose bag was a little too far (in his opinion) into the open space as she waited to board her flight and was in the way as he maneuvered his electronic stallion.
I didn't catch the whole exchange, but I did hear the terms "unsafe conditions", "fire escape hazard", and I think "improper control" of her baggage.

Doesn't this jerkwad know that it's the TSA's job to inconvenience and humiliate the traveling public, not the Airport Police?

FTMF. Hard. Twice.





TBG, trying to find a monkey wrench for this asshat.