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I would punch this dude.

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Last Olympics Post

Over in the main public concourse at the Olympics there was a puzzling facility...

I mean, I understood the need for the facility with the need to cater to service dogs, etc...

The puzzler was the additional accoutrement within...


(click if you must enlarge this pic)

Most places make do (doo?) with plastic bags...
This was the subject of much humor among the denizens of the IBC.

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Let's See How Deep The Rabbit Hole Goes...

As I was breaking down our office in the IBC, I noticed our comms panel had taken the red pill...


At that point in time, it didn't take much to amuse me...

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My Hovercraft Is Full Of Eels.

"My nipples explode with delight!"

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Always Check For Paper Before Sitting Down...

Ow.

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Special Effects

I've been having fun with  time lapse photography on my iPad.
Like the trip from the IBC to the Hotel and the London Tower* Bridge...

 But this is an interesting one I found on-line...

Time Lapse at the DMV

Click pic to start video

*Edit- Thanks, Anon... See note in Comments

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Progress

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689 Reasons to Defeat Barack Obama

See them all here...at National Review Online.

Some of my favorites:

3. Because Julia needs to get off her lazy, federally subsidized butt, get a real job, and pay for her own damned birth-control pills.

6. Because the country is ready for its first African-American former president.

7. To give him the free time to write his third memoir.

9. Joe Biden.

12. For claiming that he would cut the deficit in half.

13. And then adding more than $5 trillion in new debt.

24. Because of an $800 billion stimulus bill.

29. Because there were stimulus grants in imaginary ZIP codes.

32. For 613 new federal regulations in the first 33 months of his presidency.

33. And because 129 of those regulations will each cost the economy more than $100 million a year.

37. “The private sector is doing fine.”

38. Because the private sector isn’t doing fine.

50. Because he spent all of 2007 and 2008 imploring us to send him to Washington and, now that he has the job, he can’t stop whining about how much he hates it there.

55. Because he promised to “ban all earmarks.”

56. But he didn’t ban earmarks.

57. And he promised to go “line by line” through legislation.

58. But of course he didn’t go line by line through legislation, and in the case of Obamacare apparently didn’t go through it at all.

59. “Let me be perfectly clear.”

62. Because Americans deserve the opportunity to see which White House pet will ride atop the Romney presidential limousine.

78. The fact that the stimulus spent $9.38 million to renovate a train depot that has been closed for 30 years.

112. He could spend more time with his beloved straw men, who are no doubt dating his composite girlfriends.
 
234. Because just as his campaign sent out an e-mail declaring that “our President and First Lady are, when it comes down to it, regular people like us,” the first family departed for a $4 million, 17-day Christmas vacation.

235. Joe Biden.

285. Joe Biden.

296. Joe Biden.

301. Opposing concealed-carry laws and supporting a national law that prohibits the practice.

315. Obama’s first presidential decision: Joe Biden.

317. “Middle Class Joe.”

357. Joe Biden telling the Chinese that he “fully understands” their draconian one-child policy.

358. Joe Biden.

372. The Nobel Peace Prize? Really?

455. He hasn’t lost Joe Biden.

569. Joe Biden.

576. The TSA touches our junk.

602. Have we mentioned Joe Biden?

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Things Are Not Always As They Seem...

I thought you weren't supposed to get them wet after midnight...?


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Truth In Advertising

I'm a bit disappointed that they made the owner of the sign cover the middle finger...

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I'll Drink To That

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Belated Olympic Content: EAT

There is a fast food lunch joint in London called EAT.

They are everywhere.

(Notice the Tower of London in the background)

I've always been tickled by signs like that- "FOOD" and "EAT"...
I remember when I was just a young'un seeing a cartoon in Playboy or National Lampoon of a large beastie approaching an all-diner witha large "EAT" sign, and one of the guys inside saying "You don't think it can read, do ya?"

I always thought it might have been a Gary Larson work, but I finally found it...
It was Gahan Wilson... Damn, that guy was funny.


One of my all-time favorites...

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Eww.

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After He Retired...

Robert E. Lee



After Appomattox, he became president of Washington College, and I guess he became disillusioned with college students and moved to London and opened a hair salon...




We passed this place every day on the way to the IBC...
It always gave me a chuckle.

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Weekend Project - The Trunk

Since my primary transportation is the FJR and things don't look they are going to change any time soon, I have recently realized the need for more storage... And preferably something waterproof.

So, last weekend's project was to install a trunk on the back.

Now, Givi topcases are about $150-$180 for hardware and $200-$300+ for the actual trunk. Hell, I can buy a new handgun for that! (And there's a nice .357 at the pawn shop calling my name...)

Instead, I made the requisite 4 trips to the hardware store to get pieces and parts and the end result was...

Voilà!  Houston, we have trunkage.

The trunk itself was an old Pelican case I have been using as a travel tool case that I picked up for the proverbial song at Skycraft Surplus in Orlando years ago...
(If you've never been, the place is awesome. They get tons of surplus stuff from NASA and the military... The place is like a museum.
If you like DIY tech projects, it is Nirvana.)
Anyway - back to the project...

A little time with my handy-dandy drill press and some channel stock and I had mounting rails.



Mmmmm... Homemade rails... and only minimal personal injuries!

And in true McGyver re-tasking fashion, the mounting plate is an old cutting board.

That's right... At the campsite I can take off the case and fillet a fish or cut limes for the rum drinks on it. Yay for multitasking!

And while I was out I picked up another item I needed- Power, baby.

I picked up a Marinco weatherized 12v power socket at West Marine.

Now I can plug in a USB power adapter to power my GPS, iPod, iPad, mobile phone or damn near anything else.
One thing I have learned on the Interw3bs is that the power system on the FJR is not the most robust.
Folks that have put the same type of power adapter in and ridden off with a high-drain appliance (heated riding suit, heated gloves etc) and got to their destination with a dead battery. Seems that the alternator doesn't put out enough juice to keep up with the power needs of a winter riding suit.
Fortunately I don't need to worry about that...
But I will have it in mind when I use it for aux power. USB-powered devices don't usually draw that many amps.

(I wonder if I can find a USB powered pulse rifle I can mount under the front fairing for those idjits that flick cigarette butts out the window of their car in front of me.)


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What's In A Name?

The Perfect Child is out of the USF dorms and is now in an apartment just off campus.

The complex provides a cablemodem for their residents, but not wifi.
 She needs one Ethernet run for her laptop, and one for her DVD player.


(Really? A college student needs a DVD with web capability?
Man, I was happy to have a portable radio to break up the monotony in my first apartment. It was a huge day when I first got a 13" B&W TV.)

So... WAPs are $20 over at CompUSA.
Easy-Peasy, lemon-squeezy.

I dug into the on-board software to set up the SSID, passwords and encryption.

I was trying to come up with a memorable SSID, not too vague, not too cutesy...
One that might give the local ne'er-do-wells something to think about.

I think I have it...



Yeah, that might just do it.

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Belated Olympic Content

IDS Oly Staff on arrival at the IBC one morning:
"Saw the sign on the main entry door. My first thought was 'What the hell did TBG do now?'"

Yours Truly:
"The Pre-Crime Unit knows how much St.Ass is pissing me off and they are just getting ready."

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Withdrawl Symptoms

I've been less than prolific lately here at L2UJ...
And I think I've figured out why.

My last recoil therapy session was before I went to London...

And my blood/alcohol ration is shockingly low...
I think my last tot of rum was...hell, I can't even remember.

So...
I think a little bang-bang and a nice snort of tafia on a regular basis...
Probably not at the same time, though... That might be counter-productive.
Heh.

Xiao Jie! Ma fa ni!


Let the experiment commence.

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Progrressives & Conservatives - 2 Sides of the Same Coin

Time for something new.




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Overheard at Hooters

(during a discussion w/waitress on various fast food hamburger places)



Customer: "Red Robin is OK... Hey, did you ever have Five Guys?"
Waitress: "Um... All at the same time?...No."
...and walks away quickly with a scowl.




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Condition White in the Tube

-or-
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

For those Constant Readers who have TL;DRitis let me skip right to the Lessons Learned:

1. I know the subway/tube/bus ride is boring, but fer chrissakes, stay awake.

2. On a crowded subway/tube, don't wear your backpack on your back.

3. If a group of young males start grab-assing and jostling you, don't ignore it. You might be about to lose that iPad or whatever is in your backpack.

4. If, as a bystander, you choose to stop the pickpocketing by catching the attention of said wolves and giving an ominous shake of your head, you better damn well have thought through all possible outcomes...

--------

So... London 2012 Olympics, Day 10

I'm meeting St.Ass over in Kensington to go to a meeting at the Sochi pavilion and it is actually easier and faster to take the DLR (for a very short ride) & Tube (Central Line for a long ride) to get to our meeting place.

I do quite a bit of people watching, and on the Central Line there is plenty of opportunity to see people in various states of Situational Ignorance. Condition White, as some of us would term it.

Headphones on, nose in an iPad, Kindle, book or newspaper, or sometimes even asleep...
If asked, 98% of these people would not have noticed the Ogre standing in the corner of the door, my back to the doorjamb.
They would not have been able to even describe the person they stood or sat next to, or even notice when the trio of young Wolves got in the car at Tottenham Court Road and started to eye the various occupants, then crowd around the back of a condition white guy wearing a backpack.


As two of them shielded the action from the sides, the third one started to manipulate the zippers on CondWhite's backpack.
I cleared my throat, raised an eyebrow and shook my head at them, figuring they'd just stop and go on to greener pastures where there wasn't an Ogre in the neighborhood.

Alas, that wasn't quite the outcome. I guess they didn't like getting stymied and decided it was a good idea to teach the Ogre a lesson about Minding His Own Business.

Very few people noted the standoff between the Ogre in the corner, and the 3 young wolves at the other side of the car. I stared at them, and they occasionally whispered to each other as we locked eyes across the narrow car.

I was prepared to wait it out, stay on the car until they got off, or until we got to a crowded station...
The looks I was getting said it all-
"Hey, you might be the Big American Guy, but the three of us are going to kick your ass."

And they would have too, thanks to those wonderful disarmament laws in the UK.
I wasn't even allowed to carry a pocket knife... I was even discouraged from carrying my Leatherman by the cops at the IBC. I would have had at least a decent lockblade, except that I had to go through Mag & Bag at least 6 times a day and possession of a pocketknife, no matter how small, would mean a chat with the local LEOs.
So- young Wolves - almost certainly armed in some manner vs. Ogre, armed with only a hand with some skin on it.

But... I did have the luxury of being able to think my way out of a paper bag, and to come up with some contingency plans...


As the train pulled into Queensway (my proposed meeting location with St.Ass) I was watching out the windows past the Wolves...
And as the car slowed to a stop I saw 2 police officers on the platform...
With a little luck, it looked like I would escape ventilation if I was able to get past the Wolves, and over to the LEOs without incident.

As the doors opened on their side of the car I moved directly at them and we all left the car... I took an immediate right and headed toward the cops.

"Excuse me officers..."
As I walked up to them I got a glimpse of the Wolves heading up the "Way Out" stairway out of the corner of my vision...
"So... You guys been getting a lot of pickpocket complaints these days?"

We stood and chatted for a few minutes - they outlined exactly the scenario I described, lamenting the fact that people just don't pay attention to what goes on around them.
Apparently there was a huge influx of criminal opportunists from Spain, Italy and France that arrived in London just before the start of the Olympics, where the picking were going to be easy and lucrative...

I exited the tube station at full alert... Still unarmed, but ready to react if it became necessary... I surmise that they went on to those greener pastures, because I made it to the street level and eventually met up with St.Ass...
No perforations, ventilation or edema.

Note to self...


A hero ain't nothing but a sandwich.
Stay awake, but mind your own business.

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Another County Heard From

Well...



I see the Steampunk Contingent have left their dirigible and are advancing on the velodrome...

Someone throw that woman a fish...

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Unfortunate Logo Placement

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Someone Is Trying To Make A Point

What did you expect?
The UK isn't exactly know for it's cuisine...



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Fun With Words

If one were to hang about the vicinity of our humble abode lair den cage at the IBC, some interesting conversations might be overheard.

Like this one:

"Wow. Did you see how far that guy jaculated?"

"Yeah- were were watching them practice the other day.
I probably couldn't jaculate a third of that distance."


"Those guys must jaculate, what, 20 or 30 times in a practice session?"

"Probably not... They'd probably need someone to help move their arm after 5 or 6 good jaculations."

"Hmmm. I don't know if I could jaculate that well in public. Stage fright, you know."


"Oh, look... Here's one of the female jaculators. They are always fun to watch."

"Yeah- I have some friends in Dallas- we all went drinking one night and had quite a jaculation contest afterwards."

Just for the record... Jaculate



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Wardrobe Malfunction

Although they say that in the original Olympic Games in ancient Greece (circa 776 BC) the athletes competed pretty much in the nude, these days a proper uniform is required.

(Using a broad definition of "proper uniform"... What works for one sport does not work for another. The stuff worn by the Beach Volleyball players would not work for, say, weightlifting... But it might make wrestling more interesting.)


However- perhaps reverting to a all-nude competition at Water Polo might add a level of fairness to the game... Seems to me there were quite a few instances where the uniforms worn by the players were used as convenient handles to slow down or impede a player's movement...

See semi-NSFW pics after the break.

Lucky Bastards

Seems that the the guys with the best job at the Olympics were not the guys that did the security pat-downs of the cheerleaders at Beach Volleyball...

It was these blokes.



Click to enlarge

In case you didn't see it, this is how they moved the items like the hammer, discus, javelin and the shot back to the competitors.
No doubt there was quite a bit of training, testing and certification that went on before they handed controls to these young hooligans...

Personally I was hoping LOCOG would get the guys from Top Gear to do it,
but give their (Clarkson and his partners in mayhem; not LOCOG)  penchant for running into things and each other, it would have only ended in tears, or a severed Achilles tendon.

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Nightmare Fodder

By far, the most frightening and disturbing images from London 2012:
The faces at Synch Swimming.


Image by MICHAEL DALDER / Reuters


Image by MICHAEL DALDER / Reuters

Image by Al Bello / Getty Images
 
Image by Al Bello / Getty Images
 



Image by FABRICE COFFRINI / Getty Images


Image by TOBY MELVILLE / Reuters


Image by ALBERTO PIZZOLI / Getty Images




Image by ALBERTO PIZZOLI / Getty Images


Image by Clive Rose / Getty Images


Image by MARTIN BUREAU / Getty Images


Image by MICHAEL DALDER / Reuters


Image by ALBERTO PIZZOLI / Getty Images


Image by Clive Rose / Getty Images


Image by TOBY MELVILLE / Reuters


Image by MARTIN BUREAU / Getty Images


Image by MARTIN BUREAU / Getty Images


Image by Al Bello / Getty Images


Image by MICHAEL DALDER / Reuters


Image by Al Bello / Getty Images


Image by MARTIN BUREAU / Getty Images


Image by Clive Rose / Getty Images

Run. Run far and fast, if you value your sanity.
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Recovery Time

Back on the right  left correct side of the pond, and mostly recovered.
And even mo' better, ChrisC back at the office has resurrected my po' pitiful T43 so I will actually be able to blog at top speed again...
Woo hoo.
My laptop gave up the ghost on Day 8, and I've been working on borrowed & misappropriated machines to get the necessities done.
And 'blogging on an iPad is possible, but not very efficient.

So... I have a backlog of Olympic stuff and some London-centric content to post.
Stay tuned, Constant Readers...

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Future Olympiad

Welcome to the 2102 Olympics on Uopuo 7!
The is the synchronized levitation competition...







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