Mag & Bag at the Nice Golf Course is, in a word, ineffective. And it's getting a little weird.
At best it is relatively quick and un-invasive, and at most it's tedious...
The scan your badge (in case yours was "lost" or
"stolen"), then they search your bag if your carrying one, then the wand you...
They give your backpack or purse the most cursory of glances... If they should happen to notice the laptop they ask to see my "Registered for the Use of The Tournament" sticker.
The Wanding, however, is...uh...starting to get disturbing.
There is one woman that keeps maneuvering and manipulating the line so she gets to banter with The Big Guy...
Yeah. You wish.
Wacky Wanda: "Stand over here , Honey. Oooh, you're a big ol' boy."
Yikes.
WW: "Get a little closer, Honey, I won't bite ya. Much."
I assume the position: Arms out, car keys in one hand, cell phone in the other.
I show her the sticker on the phone and she wands me down.
WW: "Turn around Honey..." I face away from her and she continues the Security Kabuki Theater.
"Ok, you're good to go. I'll see YOU tomorrow!"
Yesterday the "turn around" was accompanied by a "Mmm mm mm!" noise of approval, which is a little disturbing since my derrière is about attractive as 4-day-old Georgia roadkill.
Today I got the same Seal of Approval, and to add morbid and creepifying to the mix, she gave me a whack on the butt with her metal detector wand as I was walking away...
WW: "There, a little extra pat down for you..."
Wow. Disturbing on many many levels.
Glad today is Tournament Sunday.
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
At best it is relatively quick and un-invasive, and at most it's tedious...
The scan your badge (in case yours was "lost" or
"stolen"), then they search your bag if your carrying one, then the wand you...
They give your backpack or purse the most cursory of glances... If they should happen to notice the laptop they ask to see my "Registered for the Use of The Tournament" sticker.
The Wanding, however, is...uh...starting to get disturbing.
There is one woman that keeps maneuvering and manipulating the line so she gets to banter with The Big Guy...
Yeah. You wish.
Wacky Wanda: "Stand over here , Honey. Oooh, you're a big ol' boy."
Yikes.
WW: "Get a little closer, Honey, I won't bite ya. Much."
I assume the position: Arms out, car keys in one hand, cell phone in the other.
I show her the sticker on the phone and she wands me down.
WW: "Turn around Honey..." I face away from her and she continues the Security Kabuki Theater.
"Ok, you're good to go. I'll see YOU tomorrow!"
Yesterday the "turn around" was accompanied by a "Mmm mm mm!" noise of approval, which is a little disturbing since my derrière is about attractive as 4-day-old Georgia roadkill.
Today I got the same Seal of Approval, and to add morbid and creepifying to the mix, she gave me a whack on the butt with her metal detector wand as I was walking away...
WW: "There, a little extra pat down for you..."
Wow. Disturbing on many many levels.
Glad today is Tournament Sunday.
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
Oh my goodness! As creepy as that is, thanks for the sunday morning laugh, TBG!
ReplyDeleteNo means no!
ReplyDeletehmm, was it the same chick from the Turner Gate ?
ReplyDeleteI'm noticing a pattern here.