Winter Classic Travel

Heading to PIT in the AM...
(Really early AM. Like 7:00am.)


(Photo - Associated Press)

I was just working out my "What time should I get up to get to the airport in time for my flight?" equation.

Let's see...

Flight time: 7:00.

Let's walk though it, shall we?

Alarm goes off.
9 minutes of snooze, trying to convince myself that I really need to get up and get moving.
10 minutes of stumbling around trying to gather my wardrobe and get into the bathroom.
5 minutes monkeying with my contacts while the shower warms up.
10 minute shower.
15 minutes to dry and dress.
15 minutes to gather all my crap and head out to the car and get moving.
5 minutes down the road I remember something that ABSOLUTELY have to bring with me that is still sitting on the table at home.
5 minutes back home.
2 minutes to retrieve said article and get back on the road
25 minutes to Airport long-term lot.
10 minutes for shuttle to terminal.

At this point it should be a minimum of 2 hours before the flight. So for this flight, 5:00 AM.
Why 2 hours? This is why:

20 minutes for Flight check-in.
(Includes time for ticket agent negotiations- begging, pleading & threatening to get a bulkhead-aisle seat on my flights.)
20 minutes for standing in line at TSA checkpoint
2 minutes to for enhanced pat down and punching out a TSA agent.
60 minutes for Special High-Intensity Take-down & Questioning after I punch out the Testicle Squeezing Asshole.
12 minutes to get to the departure gate.

Ergo:
7:00 Flight
- :12 Walk to gate
- :60 TSA Questioning & beatdown.
- :02 Pat-down & Punch-out
- :20 TSA Line
5:00AM Arrival
- :10 Shuttle
- :25 Travel to Airport
- :02 Pick-up forgotten Item
- :05 Return home
- :05 Travel to Airport
- :15 Pick up and Go
- :15 Dry & Dress
- :10 Shower
- :05 Eyes
- :10 Stumble
- :09 Hit Snooze
------
1:51

Set alarm for 3:09 AM

Jeebus. I really love my job.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE