I Know What I'm Doing Tonight...

I'll be playing the STFU Obama State of the Union Drinking Game...

Take one drink every time:

- Urkel the Narcissistic Putz says any form of  I, me, my or mine, or makes any other self-reference.
- Queen Nancy pops up and claps like a botox-addled jack-in-the-box.
- Any time applause breaks out and lasts for more than 10 seconds.
- Bonus Drink: If during applause, cameras cut to a Republican who is not applauding and looks like he's rather be having a root-canal than watching this crap, drink twice.
- The cameras cut to Mrs Urkel and whatever job loss/bad economy case history the White House will plant next to her, for Urkel to tell a sob story about.
- Urkel blames the previous administration for the still-existing problems that he told everyone he'd wave his magic wand and fix.
- Urkel says: Let me be clear...
- You can spot any male in the crowd wearing a suit in any color other than black, gray, or navy blue. (Supreme Court Justice sightings are exempt.)

Special cases:
- Cap and Trade - Swap drinks with the person next to you and drink
- Health Care Reform - Drink (Sip) a Boston Sour - (2 oz Blended whiskey, Juice of 1/2 Lemon, 1 tsp Powdered sugar ,1 Egg white, 1 slice Lemon, ,1 Cherry)
- Nancy Pelosi closeup or without Urkel in the shot - You must drink without moving your facial muscles.

- Camera shot of Scott Brown - Drink a Kennedy's Seat - (47 year old bourbon and sour grapes.)
- Camera shot of Joe "You Liar" Wilson: Drink a Pink Faced Liar (2 oz Ketel One vodka, 1 oz Tanqueray gin, 4 oz Mountain Dew Code Red soda, 2 splashes grenadine syrup, 4 oz Schweppes tonic water)

Let's see- STFU SOTU starts at 9:00pm EST... 6 out here in dope-smokin', tree-huggin', nanny state of British Columbia...
I'm planning on being hammered by 6:45...the waitresses at the Shark Club better have their A-game tonight, cause it's going to get ugly.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE