I made it.
But just barely...
(I hate running through airports.)
Famous the Uncle Jay will explain- no...it will take too long. Uncle Jay will sum up all the weird shit happening around him. Famous!
I recently met with our resident Travel Goddess and asked her to change my travel profile to require (if at all possible) a minimum of one hour connection time on any connecting flights.
4 times in the last 6 months I have had flight delays that caused missed connections and other complications, and this was my attempt to mitigate these problems.
Fast forward to the present.
I'm on final into Washington DC with a connecting flight to SFO.
We pushed back from the gate in Jax right on time at 2:10, taxied to an out of the way spot and the pilot announced a ground delay from DC, and we wouldn't be leaving until 2:45.
(This is a typical airline canard to keep 'on time' statistics in their favor.)
A little basic math tells me that my next flight would be in the final stages of boarding when we arrive...
Depending on the proximity of the gates in DC, I might have as much as a 20 minute trip to get to my departing flight...
Not goo DF.
So... during the ground delay I called United and got a tentative booking on a later flight, in case I miss this one...
I'm doing everything I can to make sure my trips are problem-free...
Why can't United do the same for me?
Film at 11.
...will you hear a waitress and a customer argue about the merits and costs of 4x4 off-road tires.
Her: "...Had those Firestones you like one season. Hated 'em. Useless & expensive, just like a husband with a coke habit."
Him: "No...They're great. We went rock climbing all the time when I lived in San Antone."
Her: "That's nice sweetie, but this here's Flor-i-Da, and we got mud and sand and sandy mud. Get you some Mickey Thompsons Baja MTZs; That's what I'm spending your tip money on...
Those Firestones just suck ass..."
(Drops mic, walks off.)
Wow. Have a feeling her tire fund won't have a significant bump today.
• A wolverine with a ‘pet me’ sign
• A mixed drink served by Bill Cosby
• A straight shave from Jodi Arias
• An elevator ride with Ray Rice
• Browns going to the Super Bowl
• Brian Williams' memory
• Pete Carroll coaching decisions
• Loch Ness monster sightings
• The Boy that cried Wolf
• A snapping turtle in a mud bath
• A Nigerian inheritance email
• A pilot alone in the cockpit
• A factory packed parachute
• A test fart in bed with the flu
• Tying Anthony Weiner’s shoes
• Harry Reid’s exercise equipment
• A kiss from Judas
• An Afghan wearing a backpack
• A Dana White apology
• Keeping my healthcare plan
• A North Korean trial
• A BIC pen that won’t leak
• A tuna fish sandwich left on a city bus
• Bill Clinton and an underage girl
H/T to KK for the coffee-snort-inducing email...
"If Hillary Clinton could guarantee your taxes would be cut in half, but the Republican presidential candidate would keep them the same, would you vote for her?"
Results: Yes 57% No: 43%
"Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth."
Legend from the Nah-So-Mah Tribe has it that the beautiful Indian princess Ewanua was visiting tribes on the coast with her father, Chief Siskiyou, and in celebration of their visit, a great potlatch took place.Cat-and-kittens and Komax are additional rock formations along the shore here by my hotel.
The local tribes were in great fear of Seatka, the evil spirit of the ocean, but Ewanua and those in her tribe, who lived in the mountains, were not afraid.
After the feast, while others lay sleeping, Ewanua carried her dog, Komax, and her cat and kittens in a basket and wandered down to the ocean.
She danced and played with delight, and soon placed her pets in their basket on the beach and swam into the ocean, far from shore. Unaware of any danger, she was suddenly grabbed by a fearsome creature that came out of the water.
Komax, knowing his mistress was in danger, swam out to her with the basket in his mouth and bit Seatka. Howling with rage, the monster kicked off the dog and threw the cat and kittens far out to sea. He tried to get the princess to look at him, but she refused, knowing his power was in his eyes.
Now, the beautiful Ewanua lies in the ocean, looking skyward, refusing to look at Seatka, who sits nearby. Her beloved Komax and her cat and kittens lie to the west, waiting in vain for their mistress to arise.
- From Waymarkings.com
Old Woman: "We're in Daly City California... Isn't that nice?"
Old Man: "What's nice?"
OW: "They named this place for John Daly."
(The bus is driving down John Daly Boulevard...)
OW: "Must have been before he really let himself go..."
OM: "Maybe he was born here or something..."
The Big Guy has 10 pieces of bacon.
A LeftCoast progressive redistribution expert takes 5 pieces to give to an entitled establishment-protesting hipster who is on welfare since he can't get a job with his Transgender Studies degree.
How many pieces of bacon does The Big Guy have?
How many 9mm holes does LeftCoast have?
How many tears does the Hipster cry when he doesn't get any bacon?
Who will reimburse TBG for his investment in 9mm rounds?
TBG- just doin' the math...
Its May Day, and according to local news here in the Land of Nuts & Flakes there are multiple protests planned...
They will be memorializing all the recent protests elsewhere (Martin, Garner, Brown, Gray, ad nauseum) by blocking traffic and driving up the local PDs overtime income "to show solidarity".
Interesting that CA has no qualms with adopting a major Communist holiday and making it their own...
I cannot wait for the San Andreas Fault to cut loose. (But it would be nice if it waited a few more days.)
TBG - appalled, as usual.