I laughed so hard I think I peed a little.
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
Famous the Uncle Jay will explain- no...it will take too long. Uncle Jay will sum up all the weird shit happening around him. Famous!
Anaerobe: a term borrowed from bacteriology used to refer to a patient with chronically poor lung function whose blood oxygen levels seem too low to be compatible with life, yet who seems to function normally nonetheless.
A.R.T: Assuming room temperature. A recently deceased patient.
Banana bag: an intravenous solution containing a liquid multivitamin that colors the fluid a bright yellow, used in undernourished or alcoholic patients.
Beans: kidneys. "Better watch that Gentamycin level — you don't want to fry her beans."
Bed plug: a low-maintenance patient occupying a bed that might otherwise be filled with a more difficult case.
Bright lights: surgery (also, "bright lights and cold steel"). "The meds aren't doing squat — sounds like this guy needs some bright lights."
C.T.D: Circling the drain. Description of a patient who is slowly deteriorating and likely to die.
Code brown: bowel incontinence that can be smelled throughout the ward. "Code brown on 3 East — better take the back stairs."
C.T.S.: Cut all to shreds. E.R. lingo for victims with multiple lacerations, usually MVAs with through-the-windshield trauma.
Deceleration Trauma: The patient/victim has jumped/fallen/been thrown from from a high location and impacted the ground with high delta-V.
"It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden deceleration trauma immediately thereafter." (See also: Terminal Deceleration Syndrome)
Ditzel: a small, unidentified mass seen on an X-ray, usually benign by implication. "The CAT scan was fine except for a vague ditzel in the parietal lobe, probably a calcium deposit." (See also goombah.)
D.N.R.: do not resuscitate. Instructions allowing a patient to die undisturbed in the event of a sudden catastrophic event; no C.P.R., no respirator, no electric shocks.
Doc-in-the-box: an urgent-care walk-in clinic. "He's moonlighting at a doc-in-the-box downtown."
D.R.T: Dead Right There. Usually the recipient of some type of trauma (GSW, MVA) where the victim has succumbed and is A.R.T. prior to the arrival of the EMTs
Fascinoma: a very unusual or fascinating case. "They're presenting the fascinoma from 4 East at grand rounds this morning."
F/C/S/N/V/HA/C.P.: fever, chills, sweats, nausea, vomiting, headache, chest pain. A list of symptoms so commonly checked off in questioning that the savvy resident can "name that tune" with only one or two letters.
F.D.G.B: Fall Down, Go Boom - Patient (usually a child) in N.A.D. with an overly protective/concerned parent, arriving at the E.R. after a household fall.
Fleas: Internists, because of their constant attention to the minutiae of daily patient care. In a less complimentary light, as a patient's death becomes imminent, the consulting specialists will often sign off the case, which internists, as primary care doctors, are unable to do. So internists resemble fleas, which are — as the saying has it — "the last ones to jump off a dying dog."
Gomer: shorthand for "Get out of my emergency room." Any undesirable patient, usually one that is unkempt, demented, combative or any combination of the above. (The phrase is now sharply discouraged due to a new sensitivity to the image of doctors, in reaction to the uncaring image presented by H.M.O.'s.)
Goombah: a large unidentified mass seen on an X-ray, usually implied to be malignant. "He's got some kind of goombah in the left upper lobe on his chest film." (See also ditzel.)
GSW: Gun Shot Wound
Heme: blood, often used as a euphemism in the presence of conscious patients to avoid upsetting them. "A little suction, nurse. I'm getting a little heme at the biopsy site."
HIBGIA: "Had it before, got it again." Serial E.R. customers.
Hit: a new patient. "Better grab some dinner quick — we've got three hits coming up from the E.R."
Incidentaloma: an incidental finding noted on a radiograph performed for an unrelated purpose. "The M.R.I. of the C-spine was normal except for an incidentaloma in the thyroid."
I's and O's: intake and output — a daily count of the patient's total fluid intake and measurable output (urine, blood, wound drainage, etc.). An accurate tally allows assessment of the patient's hydration status.
K: the chemical symbol for potassium. "Mrs. Zilka's K was pretty low this morning — better give her a dose of K-phos."
L.O.L.: little old lady. (Oddly, there is no male equivalent.)
Lead Poisoning: Usually a victim of a GSW.
M.V.A.: Motor Vehicle Accident
N.A.D.: no apparent distress. The classic description of a patient in a state of well-being: "L.O.L. in N.A.D."
Neuron: neurologist. "Better get an M.R.I. before you get that neuro consult — the neurons don't go to the bathroom without seeing an M.R.I. first."
O sign: a persistently open mouth, as seen on a mouth-breathing sleeping patient, or on a demented conscious patient. "He's resting comfortably; positive O sign." (See also Q sign.)
O.C.: obsessive-compulsive. "Dr. Heller gets pretty O.C. about checking I's and O's on his patients."
PBS: Pretty Bad Shape - Kind of self-explanatory.
Pimp: to test the medical knowledge of an underling, usually in a public and unexpected manner. "The chief made rounds with us this morning, and I got pimped wicked about hepatitis."
Pleasantly demented: a standard description of a patient who, though deep in the throes of senility, can carry on an appropriate conversation and occasionally give the impression of having perfect mental capacity.
Q sign: an open mouth with a tongue dangling from it. "Looks like Mr. O'Reilly's not going to need his sleeping pills tonight — he's already got a positive Q sign showing." (See also O sign.)
Rock: a very stable patient, often used at sign-out, when one physician is turning over care to another. "Mr. Green on 3 South just had a hernia repair — nothing to do there, he's a rock."
Scut puppy: an underling, usually a third-year medical student, assigned to perform menial tasks like drawing blood and retrieving lab results.
Snake: to perform a procedure involving insertion of a fiber-optic scope into a body orifice; also, the instrument itself. "Mrs. Goldstein's ulcer seems to be acting up — we better snake her and take a look."
S.O.B: shortness of breath. "Mr. Hanson complains of three weeks of intermittent C.P. accompanied by S.O.B."
Tail-light sign: when a patient (usually elderly) is dropped off at an emergency room by relatives who drive away before an evaluation is complete, forcing the patient to be admitted to the hospital whether or not his medical condition requires it.
Terminal Deceleration Syndrome: Usually a victim of a MVA or Motorcycle accident.
Train wreck: a patient with multiple medical problems. "Dr. Jacobs can't come down right now — he's tied up with a train wreck in the E.R."
Veteran (variant: veteranoid): a grizzled, elderly patient, usually male, who has great forbearance with testing and readily agrees to any procedures that are advised; reminiscent of the type of patient normally found in a V.A. hospital.
Wallet biopsy: checking a patient's insurance or financial status before embarking on expensive procedures. "They were going to keep her a couple more days, but the wallet biopsy showed she could be treated at home instead."
W.N.L.: within normal limits, as in a lab or X- ray result; or, alternatively, "We Never Looked."
W.N./W.D.: well-nourished and well-developed. Standard opening shorthand in any physical examination: `W.N./W.D. female in N.A.D."
Zebra: an outlandish or unlikely diagnosis. A medical school aphorism holds, "If you're walking down Fifth Avenue and you hear hoofbeats, you think of horses, not zebras," meaning that a common diagnosis is more likely to be correct than a rare one.
- Most references by SHEILENDR KHIPPLE
1. Always treat a firearms as if it is loaded.For the concise breakdown, please see Jeff Cooper's commentaries- Volume 6, Number 2.
2. Never point a firearm at anyone or anything that you do not intend to kill or destroy.
3. Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot.
4. Know your target and what is beyond the target.
“When I left as secretary and passed the baton on to Secretary Kerry, we were positioned to really explore whether we had set the table well enough to see changes that were sufficient to meet our legitimate objections to Iran’s behavior and its future plans,” Clinton said, referring to her successor, John F. Kerry..Dafuq does this sentence even mean?
The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) released 36,007 convicted criminal aliens last year who were awaiting the outcome of deportation proceedings, according to a report issued Monday by the Center for Immigration Studies.In effect, the administration has, as Bill Otis puts it, “unleashed its own crime wave.”
The group of released criminals includes those convicted of homicide, sexual assault, kidnapping and aggravated assault, according to the report, which cites a document prepared by the ICE. . . .
According to the report, the 36,007 individuals released represented nearly 88,000 convictions, including:
•193 homicide convictions
•426 sexual assault convictions
•303 kidnapping convictions
•1,075 aggravated assault convictions
•1,160 stolen vehicle convictions
•9,187 dangerous drug convictions
•16,070 drunk or drugged driving convictions
Federal agents killed in the Branch Davidian raid in Waco, Tom McKeehan, Conway Le Bleu, and Robert Williams, were former Clinton bodyguards. (February 26, 1993)I've seen this bit o' foolscap before, and it seems like it's going to be getting more life (heh) as the political seasons start to ramp up...
Attorney Paul Wilcher, who investigated drug and gun running out of Mena, Arkansas and their links to the Branch Davidians, died of undetermined causes three weeks after submitting a 99 page affidavit to Attorney General Janet Reno. (June 23, 1993)
Four Marine presidential crewmen who escorted Clinton on the flight to the Carrier Roosevelt, Maj. William S. Barkley, Capt. Scott J. Reynolds, Staff Sgt. Brian D. Haney and Sgt. Timothy D. Sabel, died in a helicopter crash. (May 19, 1993)
Others associated with Clinton's March 12, 1993 visit to the Carrier Roosevelt (the meeting aboard the Roosevelt figures prominently in the U.N. Bosnia-Serbia peace keeping plans) who died in aviation accidents within four months of each other, include: Maj. Gen. Jarrett J. Robertson, Col. William J. Densberger, Col. Robert J. Kelley, and five Naval Aviators.
Vincent Foster, Hillary's former Rose Law Firm Associate and legal council to the President, allegedly committed suicide, using a non-traceable hand gun, built from parts of several guns. Shadows of doubt cast by reports of not finding a suicide note were addressed when a note was miraculously produced much later, torn into pieces, void of fingerprints. Missing was the piece where the signature would appear. (July 7, 1993)
Paula Gober, who traveled extensively with Clinton as his interpreter for the hearing-impaired, was killed in a solo auto accident near Monticello, Arkansas. Her body was found 33 feet away from her overturned car. (December 9, 1992)
Clinton's State Attorney General Susan Coleman, who allegedly had an affair with Clinton, was shot in the back of her head.
Arkansas pornography and prostitution ring 'model' Judy Gibbs, a frequent sexual partner of then-Governor Clinton, burned to death in a fire inside her home following her decision to cooperate with police.
Clinton strategist and Democratic National Committee Political Director, Paul Tully, was found dead of unknown causes in a Little Rock hotel room. (September 9, 1992).
Clintons national finance co-chairman and operator of a telecommunication service used by international police, C. Victor Raiser II, and his son Montgomery Raiser were killed in a private plane crash. (June 30, 1992)
Clinton fund raiser Herschel Friday, an attorney from Little Rock, was killed in a single-engine plane accident.
Clinton administration advisors on health care reform Stanley Heard and Steven Dickson were killed in the crash of their rented plane shortly after takeoff from Dulles Airport.
Jim Wilhite, a friend of Bill Clinton and a business associate of White House Chief of Staff Mack McLarty, suffered fatal head injuries in a skiing accident. (December 12, 1992)
The death of prominent attorney, developer, and Clinton fund-raiser, Ed Wiley, was ruled a suicide though no suicide note was found, nor was there an apparent motive for suicide. (November 30, 1993)
Clinton¹s Chief of Security in Arkansas, Jerry Parks, was found along a roadside, riddled with bullets. Files kept in his office were missing.
Dr. Ronald Rogers, believed to be on his way to an interview to reveal information about Clinton to a London Sunday Telegraph reporter, died in a plane crash. (March 3 1994)
A witness for Paula Jones, Kathy Ferguson, the ex-wife of Arkansas State Trooper and Clinton bodyguard Danny Ferguson, was shot behind the left ear. The death was ruled a suicide. (May 11, 1994)
Kathy Ferguson's fiance, Arkansas policeman Bill Shelton, who was critical of the Ferguson suicide ruling, died of a gunshot wound behind the left ear. His death was ruled a suicide. (June 1994).
Jon Parnell Walker, a Resolution Trust Corporation investigator probing illegalities between the Clintons and Madison Guaranty S&L, allegedly committed suicide by leaping from the top of a 22-story apartment building.
Stanley Huggin, an investigator into Madison Guaranty Savings and Loan, was found dead in Delaware.
Admiral Jeremy M. (Mike) Boords, Chief of Naval Operations, shot himself in the chest with a .38 caliber handgun a few minutes before her was to be interviewed by a Newsweek reporter. He was tipped off that he would be asked two questions: Did he know Jonathon Jay Pollard? And, was he Pollard's 'handler' at the Navy Department?
Commerce Secretary Ron Brown, 34 American industrialists and flight crew aboard the Presidential plane Air Force-2 were killed when the Boeing T-43-A crashes into Sveti Ivan, Croatia, April 3, 1996. Air Force Stewardess Shelly Kelly, who is riding in the tail, sustains only minor cuts and bruises, and was able to board a rescue helicopter without assistance. She later dies at the hospital from loss of blood. According to journalist Joe L. Jordan, an autopsy later reveals a neat three-inch incision over her main femoral artery that was inflicted at least three hours after all her other cuts and bruises. Clinton hastily orders all bodies of the victims to be cremated.
Maintenance Chief Niko Jerkuic, in charge of the radio beacon that guided Air Force-2 to the runway at Cilipi Airport, commits suicide by shooting himself in the chest. Cilipi¹s air traffic controller also commits suicide and the tapes of the control tower disappear
And the hits (heh) keep coming. (Benghazi, etc.)