The rib is a lie.
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
Famous the Uncle Jay will explain- no...it will take too long. Uncle Jay will sum up all the weird shit happening around him. Famous!
If I could tell half of the storiesLike the song says, one of these days I will make the time, get away from the Internet, the gun range, and all the other distractions in my life, sit on a beach somewhere and try to get all the good stuff down on paper...
The funny way most things begin
Figure ways to disguise all the half truths and lies
Find the heart of my song with the point of a pen
Simple words can be come clever phrases
And chapters could turn into books
Yes if I could just get it on paper
But it's harder than it ever looks.
All alone in the edge of the water
Hidin' out by the Sea of Cortez
With my sketch pads and Flairs
Tapes and battery spares
It's just no comprehendo to what everyone says
Time alone seemed to work well for Faulkner
Time away seems to work for the kid
Life and ink they run out at the same time
Or so said my old friend the squid
Yes if I could just get it on paper tonight
I could tell you what I think I did
- If I could Just Get It On Paper - Jimmy Buffett
...The Wino and I Know - Jimmy Buffett
Coffee is strong at the Cafe Du Monde
Donuts are too hot to touch
Just like a fool, when those sweet goodies cool
I eat 'til I eat way too much
'Cause I'm livin' on things that excite me
Be they pastries, lobsters or love,
I'm just tryin' to get by bein' quiet and shy
In a world full of pushin' and shove
And the Wino and I know the pain of back bustin'
Like the farmer knows the pain of his pickup truck rustin'
It's a strange situation, wild occupation
Just livin' my life like a song
3. Because Julia needs to get off her lazy, federally subsidized butt, get a real job, and pay for her own damned birth-control pills.
6. Because the country is ready for its first African-American former president.
7. To give him the free time to write his third memoir.9. Joe Biden.
12. For claiming that he would cut the deficit in half.13. And then adding more than $5 trillion in new debt.
24. Because of an $800 billion stimulus bill.
29. Because there were stimulus grants in imaginary ZIP codes.
32. For 613 new federal regulations in the first 33 months of his presidency.33. And because 129 of those regulations will each cost the economy more than $100 million a year.
37. “The private sector is doing fine.”38. Because the private sector isn’t doing fine.
50. Because he spent all of 2007 and 2008 imploring us to send him to Washington and, now that he has the job, he can’t stop whining about how much he hates it there.
55. Because he promised to “ban all earmarks.”56. But he didn’t ban earmarks.
57. And he promised to go “line by line” through legislation.58. But of course he didn’t go line by line through legislation, and in the case of Obamacare apparently didn’t go through it at all.59. “Let me be perfectly clear.”
62. Because Americans deserve the opportunity to see which White House pet will ride atop the Romney presidential limousine.
78. The fact that the stimulus spent $9.38 million to renovate a train depot that has been closed for 30 years.
112. He could spend more time with his beloved straw men, who are no doubt dating his composite girlfriends.
234. Because just as his campaign sent out an e-mail declaring that “our President and First Lady are, when it comes down to it, regular people like us,” the first family departed for a $4 million, 17-day Christmas vacation.
235. Joe Biden.
285. Joe Biden.
296. Joe Biden.
301. Opposing concealed-carry laws and supporting a national law that prohibits the practice.
315. Obama’s first presidential decision: Joe Biden.
317. “Middle Class Joe.”
357. Joe Biden telling the Chinese that he “fully understands” their draconian one-child policy.358. Joe Biden.372. The Nobel Peace Prize? Really?
455. He hasn’t lost Joe Biden.
569. Joe Biden.
576. The TSA touches our junk.
602. Have we mentioned Joe Biden?