Tuesday, July 31, 2012


I tried like hell to get over to the Royal Artillery Barracks this afternoon to watch the men's finals for skeet...
Alas, it wasn't to be...
(I have shit to do... That network over at Athletics just isn't going to crash itself...)
I did get to watch most of it live on the OBS feed...

Now, I shoot skeet- either with the guys from work, or on the Wednesday Night Outings with Chuck and the guys from the pawn shop... And I've attended (spectator, not shooter) some State competitions...
But that doesn't prepare you for watching Olympic-class shooters.
Holy crap!
These guys are Teh Shit.

Seeing the way the competitors performed  was amazing...
Very mechanical, precision shooting...
And icing on the cake- Vincent Hancock of the USA won the gold medal, after setting an Olympic record during qualifying.
Just amazing shooting.
I don't care if it harelips the Pope, I'm going to get over there for the Trap finals...


The Coolest Cops in the UK

The two coolest cops I've run into over here.
They're carrying MP5s and Glock 17s, and  about 145 rounds of 9mm each.
They are not guys with whom to fuck.

I was walking over to the stadium and started talking to these guys. The one on the left has been to CQC training St. Petersburg in Florida and was endlessly amused by cops in the US and their lack of required range time.
To carry (especially the MP5s) these guys have to qualify every 6 weeks and have weekly scheduled range time. (Contrast to Joe Policeman in US who goes to the range twice a year.)
We discussed calibers, weapons, the Aurora shooting, and concealed carry.

They had the same concerns for their current task that I voiced regarding the Batman shooting. Basically- if something was to occur that requires using their firearm (especially in FA mode), how do you avoid collateral damage to innocent bystanders and still deal with the threat?
Had I been in the theater in Aurora and been armed, I believe it might have been difficult to return fire because it would be difficult to be sure of the target and who is beyond or beside the gunman.
It's easy to be a Monday morning quarterback and say- "Well, if I'da been there it would be a different story...", but the prudent and wise CCW holder should look on the Aurora incident as an absolute worst-case situation, one that you might not be able to (safely) deal with.
These guys completely understand the dilemma, and thankfully, it is constantly on their minds.

Funny thing - during the 15 minutes I spent talking with them, we had people come up to them at least 4 times to pose for pics... Once two couples asked about getting snaps- the girls cuddled up to them and the boyfriends clicked away...
"Are those real guns?" on of the girls asked.
"It'd be a right cock-up to carry a fake one."

Damned right, mate.


Truth In Advertising

Hopefully this beer doesn't scream "Fuck you, you rotten bastard!" in front of all the neighbors after you finish it...


W. T. F.???

Parents of child injured by swallowing Buckyballs relieved feds are suing to block future distribution
Meaghin Jordan says she's "very relieved" the Consumer Product Safety Commission filed suit last week to block continued sale of powerful small magnet toys known as Buckyballs. Her son, Braylon Jordan, 2, is still hospitalized after extensive medical care, including recent surgery, nearly four months after swallowing eight powerful magnetic toys.

When two or more magnets are swallowed, they can attach to one another through the stomach and intestinal walls, resulting in serious injuries, such as holes in the stomach and intestines, intestinal blockage, and blood poisoning, according to the CPSC.
How about, instead of putting a an employer of American citizens out of business and restricting the free market, that when a child does this we have a chat with the 'rents about child endangerment?


Go get your Buckyballs here, before the Nanny States of Amerika shut them down.


Just A Sec, Let Me Put My Shocked Face On...

Amazing what you find as you wander around out on the Interweb... The question and the poll results speak for themselves.

From YahooSports website, no less...

"I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you."


Monday, July 30, 2012

Signs Of The Apocalypse - WTF Edition

You might have to click on this to see the futility.

I really don't know what to say about this.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

New Olympic Event

Synchronized Sunbathing

For my money, it's right up there with full-contact mountaineering.


What Grandma Always Wanted to Say

TWWKMT would love a stack of these.


Someone Needs an Atlas or Spelling Lessons

...or a different job.



My Favorite Olympic Souvenir


Saturday, July 28, 2012

Sticks Make You Culturally Superior?

Who knew?
(1.5 billion Asians know, actually.)


Tower Bridge - Opening Ceremonies

As usual, I tried to stay as far from the Olympic Park as possible for opening ceremonies.
I was trying to get to Florida, but alas, my request to make an early departure was denied (even after the double-homed network switch I tried to take credit for...)

Walking into the hotel last night I saw quite the crowd down on the riverbank, so I stopped to have a peek.

(click a pic to engorginate)

Oooh. Pretty lights!

Explosives- Cool!

I had no idea what was going on at the time, but as the speedboat came through we saw the torch in the bow at the last moment...

After shooting one or two more pics I headed up to my room and didn't even turn on the broadcast...
I didn't find out it was Beckham in the speedboat until this morning around 4:30... when I got up to go to work.
We've been catching replays of the opening ceremonies between events here at the IBC this morning.  Okay- off to Athletics this AM.
Now that the OC is done I can get over to the Stadium to set up for Track & Field.


Friday, July 27, 2012

It's Worse Than We Think...


How To Make A Splash At The Olympics

Wear a Blackwater T-Shirt while working in the NBC compound at the Olympics.

Indignant older NBC staffer:
"I can't believe you would wear something showing support for such an evil company."

Stuffy ex-talking head now consultant:
"What's wrong with you?"

Clueless hipster:
"Cool shirt. Is that a nature conservancy organization?"

These folks would be absolutely appalled about things I was doing in '84-'86 and some of the stuff I was working on in '92 - '93...


Thursday, July 26, 2012

A Lesson Politicians Will Never Learn


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Nice Prank

There is a Hipster over here that desperately needs this treatment...

Heading over to the B&Q now to pick up a Master lock.

I think this one will do...


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Everyone's Doing It...

It's a puzzler to me.

The PC's done it.
The Woman Who Knows Most Things has done it...
99.98% of the women at the IBC have done it, based on overheard conversations.
(And it's hard not to overhear the nasal two-chalk-slates-mating shrill Yankee whine of sorority girls in the Commissary discussing the recent fad...)

That's right-
They're all reading 50 Shades of Gray. And it's sequel 50 More Shades of Gray, and the bandwagon of read-alike books that have followed it in publication.

Mommy Porn, as they call it.

Odd that they are so proud of indulging in Literotica that they announce it to all and sundry. And talk about the content over lunch.
In a crowded lunchroom.
In graphic detail.

I'm not sure I know of any guys that would announce in a public forum about indulging in porn of any kind, be it soft, hardcore, animal, vegetable, or aquatic mammal in printed form, video or even stained glass windows...

I guess there's a double standard...

A woman is trendy if she is sitting on a bus with her home-girl talking about BDSM in 50 Shades...
But if a guy starts watching "Debbi Does Dishes" on his Kindle, well, that will get you ejected from the Commissary.


Public Service Announcement

Since we're going to get bombarded with this crap in the next few months...

This is an AZTEC calendar.

THIS is a MAYAN calendar.

Just trying to keep things straight...


Monday, July 23, 2012

South Of The Border Hypocrisy

Reading the RSS newsfeed this AM...

"Mexican president: US should reconsider ‘mistaken’ gun laws"

Fuck you, you fucking fuck. The last thing we need to hear for that shithole YOU run is advice on individual rights.

Whoa... Slow down, son. It's too early to get worked up like this...
Hypocrisy much? Physician, heal thyself. How's about a little machete control for your population? Wouldn't that cut down on the number of your citizens that wind up beheaded in a roadside ditch by the cartels?... Fuck you and the...
Shit. Doing it again.
Breathe... Settle down... Step back from the keyboard.

Ok. A calm, classic response to this asshole King Turd of a Third-World Shithole idiot:

Matthew 7:3-5
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. *

Yeah... That'll do.

So fuck off, Felipe.


(*Yes, I know. Out of character for me... But as Antonio said in The Merchant of Venice, "The devil can cite scripture for his purpose." This is one of those cases.)

Sunday, July 22, 2012

That Will Screw Up Your Commute Home...

...if you are one of the guys named John that drive down this road.


Saturday, July 21, 2012

Saturday Night Fun

Let's head to Walmart for fun and games!

First one to get Bingo gets a piggyback ride around the store from the head cashier!


That's What She Said...

Wow. Nice Nuts.


Listen Up...

I have a propensity for using comparatives when speaking...
One of my favorites I picked up years ago at The Masters. I had an opportunity to use it here in London this morning.
Unfortunately I used it on St.Ass, and due to the twin-threat of my mumbling, and his English-as-a-second language, the exchange wasn't a clean of it might have been.

St.Ass (in thick Russian accent) "...so zhey arrre now serrrving zhe wonderrrful brrrreakfast at zhe commissarry."

Yours Truly: "Awesome. I'm on it like a rat on a cheeto."

(Very puzzled look from St.Ass)

SA: "Zhe rrrat on zhe what?"

YT: "A. Rat. On. A. Cheeto. You know- little yellow cheese puff?"

SA: "Ah! Cheeto. I zhought you cheeta. You know - big cat. I din't understand."

YT: (Trying to envision a rat on a cheetah, and how that would work out...Which devolved into a strange tableau involving Mickey and Chester Cheetah. Don't judge me.)

YT: "Uh... No. Cheeto. Not cheetah."

I walk out, still getting funny looks from St.Ass.


Friday, July 20, 2012

Letters to People Unlikely to Respond - Part 2.3+10E6

Dear Hipster w/ Hornrims, 2 Vassar Sorority Girls, 3 local carpenters, the gaggle of lost interns trying to find the Starbucks, Motorpool drivers debating the best route to North Greenwich Arena, and the self-important celebrity talking head and his toady, and all the rest of you motherfuckers that I have been dodging all day:

I know you haven't seen each other since Vancouver or Beijing , (or that kegger at Sigma Tau) and you need to get caught up. And I understand the importance of finding a consensus on the best route through traffic. And it's a gorram shame you can't read the frakking signs that will direct you to the fershluggener commissary, and yes, it is amazing all the crap that goes into this kind of production - will you look at these fukkin' yanks? And I'm sure you absolutely have to talk to your dope dealer / dog walker/ Call-of-Duty-Homeboy / Hairstylist / caterer on your mobile phone and you are unable to walk and talk at the same time...
So... GET OUT OF THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF THE MAIN GODDAMN HALLWAY TO DO whatever it is that you need to do.


The Ogre in CO114 who is going to start throwing elbows pretty goddam soon.
I don't have time for your shit.


Thursday, July 19, 2012

All The Cool Kids Are Doing It...

Did this a few years back- I have increased my used passport pages since...
A few more countries and states have suffered in my presence in the interim.
visited 41 countries...(18.2%)

visited 40 states (80%)

1 stolen passport, 3 bribed customs officials informal
equipment bond payments, 2 border crossing refusals,
1 cancelled visa, 1 visa refusal, 1 police intervention,
5 arrests detainments, no convictions.


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

101 Ways to Start a Fight (# 172 in the Series)

Yours Truly, having met up with an old acquaintance at the Stadium, discussing other mutual friends that are here in London.

Old Friend: "...and I believe Tilly got hired on- she's over at Aquatics this year."
Yours Truly: "Wow. Didn't think she'd do another one of these things. When you see her, give a smack on the fanny for me..."



Monday, July 16, 2012

Keep An Eye Peeled For This Guy

Apparently those clever Chinese are training their Track and Field participants on some new techniques...

Kinda scary.

TBG - Molten Lager

Sunday, July 15, 2012

101 Ways to Start a Fight (# 155 in the series)

3 Aussies standing the exit doorway (between me and the bus coach back to the hotel) having a little chin-wag.

TBG: (in full ogre mode): "Don't people in England know not to block the door at quitting time?"
Aussie 1 "Wouldn't know, mate. We're from Oz."
TBG: "Hm. Coulda fooled me. All you limey bastards look alike."


More Like "Assisted" Suicide

This story struck a nostalgic nerve as I read it...
BEIJING (AP) -- Police concluded a Chinese activist found hanging in his hospital room committed suicide, dismissing allegations of foul play from his family and fellow activists who had used his death as a symbol of China's repression of government critics.
Li Wangyang's promotion of labor rights in central China had led to more than 20 years of prison or hard labor. He was released last year and was being treated at a hospital for heart disease, diabetes and other ailments when he died June 6.
Investigators found Li's fingerprints on the hospital window bar from which he was found hanging, said a police report released through the Hong Kong China News Agency late Thursday. It said an autopsy concluded Li's injuries were consistent with suicide and found no signs of bruising, organ damage or other evidence of struggle.
People seen in hospital surveillance video taken in the hall outside his room around the time of his death were all staff or other patients' visitors, said the Hunan Public Security Bureau report.
Relatives say the 62-year-old labor rights activist never talked about killing himself despite his prison time and illnesses. Supporters say it was suspicious Li was found hanging by his neck even though his feet touched the ground.

It reminded me of an old parody of Prof. Tolkien's trilogy...
Harvard Lampoon wrote a parody entitled "Bored of the Rings".
It was a hoot. I still have an an original copy in my library...
I had to go look up the passage I wanted and found the entire PDF online...
(gee, imagine that. </sarcasm>)
The entire thing is a classic, but the part that I was looking for was a description of the suicide of King of Twodor, and the takeover by the Stewards.

"I think it's a bluff," said Goodgulf as he rang the bell insistently,
"for the Stewards of Minas Troney have always been private in their ways. Benelux the Booby, son of Electrolux the Piker, comes from a long line of Stewards dating back many arid generations.
Long have they ruled Twodor.
The first Great Steward, Parrafin the Climber, was employed in King Chloroplast's kitchen as second scullery boy when the old King met a tragic death. He apparently fell backward by accident on a dozen salad forks. Simultaneously the true heir, his son Carotene, mysteriously fled the city, complaining of some sort of plot and a lot of threatening notes left on his breakfast tray.
At the time, this looked suspicious what with his father's death, and Carotene was suspected of foul play. Then the rest of the King's relatives began to drop dead one after the other in an odd fashion. Some were found strangled with dishrags and some succumbed to food poisoning. A few were found drowned in the soup vats, and one was attacked by assailants unknown and beaten to death with a pot roast. At least three appear to have thrown themselves backward on salad forks, perhaps in a noble gesture of grief over the King's untimely end.
Finally there was no one left in Minas Troney who was either eligible or willing to wear the accursed crown, and the rule of Twodor was up
for grabs. The scullery slave Parrafin bravely accepted the Stewardship of Twodor until that day when a lineal descendant of Carotene's returns to reclaim his rightful throne, conquer Twodor's enemies, and revamp the postal system."
In fiction as in real life- "Nothing to see here, folks. Just move along..."


Friday, July 13, 2012

Signs of the Apocalypse - London 2012 - #3

Take the hint, chatty Yanks-

Engaging the bus coach driver in idle chit-chat as he is trying to negotiate central London morning traffic is a bad thing. Knock it off.

Assisting the masses: Language help
We're trying to help the US NBC crew adjust to the language differences here in merrie olde England... ...With visual aids from the Pantless One himself!


Making Progress

St. Ass: "(unintelligible Russian cursing)"
I check out the screen on his laptop...

Yours Truly: "Ah. I see you've fixed the graphics problem. Nice."
St.Ass "Ну ты мудак!"
YT "Nice. At least, I assume that is something kind and uplifting."
St.Ass "No. Not so much."


Signs of the Apocalypse - London 2012 (#2)

Moving into the '90's, finally...

You DO know there is not one inch of tape over in Central Tape
or in the Tape Library, right?


Signs of the Apocalypse - London Olympics Edition (#1 in a series)

Guess what what your crew gift is, and what they are serving in the commissary...


It's the Booze Talking - Part 10


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Busy Busy...

But not too busy for a pic from outside the hotel...

Shot on my iPad w/ Snapseed - Click to Enlarge

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Letters to Entities Unlikely to Respond #347

Dear England-

Can I make a suggestion?

1. Launder your clothes more often. (see #3)

2. Shower/bathe.

3. Use soap.

4. Deodorant. Use it.

5. Got Toothbrush? Toothpaste?

6. Mouthwash/Breath mint wouldn't hurt.
6a. Mouthwash / breath mint is not a long-term substitute for #5.


That big guy in the elevator holding his breath.

Really, if riding down in the hotel elevator first thing in the morning and the stench of B.O. and bad breath makes someone gag, there needs to be a serious discussion about your hygiene.


Suffering from CRS...

(Actually, I don't suffer from it... I enjoy every minute of it.)

Now... I was going to blog about something....
What was it?


I forgot one important site on the blogroll...

The Gun Blog Black List

Holy crap!
A more complete listing of Gunny folks you will not find!

One nice thing is that the list is not a "pay for listing" site- it is a labor of love by one individual that finds, examines and lists appropriate sites...
The GBBL is a collection of bloggers that I choose to list (or NOT list as I see fit). No one pays me to list them. There is no paid advertising on the GBBL. Any 'ad' on this site is there because I choose to put it there. I don't make any money listing blogs.

I list blogs to encourage personal connections between bloggers and to add to the blog community. I do this because I want to.

Punk-assed pinko commie bastards can ignore the above message. This means you, T-Rav.


Monday, July 09, 2012

Blogroll Additions

Been needing to add a few people to the Blogroll...

The most recent first-
Stephen at Standing Outside Looking In - found his site via a post at Tam's...
Got caught up reading his older posts. He's been blogging just over a year and has some really entertaining stuff.
Added to the blogroll and on my RSS feed... http://dixiecritter.blogspot.com is the place.

Double Trouble @ rattailbastard.blogspot.com
is also on my daily reads list...

I don't know how I missed adding OldNFO to the blogroll...
He was one of the bloggers I met up with in November (or was it December?) last year.We spent an afternoon and an evening in good conversation, along with the fair Brigid. Good food, good folks!
OldNFO @ Nobody Asked Me - oldnfo.blogspot.com is a good site for you to read on a daily basis too...

MauserMedic @ Mausers, Medicine & Motorcycles
I found Mauser Medic's site after he commented on one of my recent blogposts... His site is quite a good read... mausers-meds-bikes.blogspot.com

I've been reading Evyl Robot @ Evyl Robot Soapbox for a while- I had been reading his better half's site - In Jennifer's Head for quite a long time (and on the blogroll too), but got hooked on ER when I was doing some research on having a custom holster made...
Check him out.


And finally - 3 Boxes of BS is another recent addition to my reading list.
Another Texas blog- He's putting together the DAB II on September. Good stuff here... http://3bxsofbs.infamousanime.net/


Letters to Entities Unlikely to Respond.

Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9.
You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things.


So...It's Unanimous Then....

Looks like four yes votes.
That's good enough for me...

But man, will you look at these axe murderers they polled? Jeebus!


I LOVE this town!


Saturday, July 07, 2012

Hung Drawn & Quartered

101 ways to start a fight, part the 14th

Famous the Borepatch suggested finding a pub called "Hung Drawn & Quartered" in the Tower Hill section of London.

Fortunately, Tower Hill is just around the corner from the Tower Hotel.
How convenient!

One sparkling cider and a ploughman's plate (pickled vegetables, cheese, bread, fruit) later, I was trying to get my bill cleared and head back to the hotel...

Hm. They musta heard I was coming...

This is where the post's secondary title comes in...

No matter how funny it might seem in your head, clearing yout throat, holding up a 20-pound note and announcing to the entire bar (or at least to the 10 closest guys at the bar):
"Hey, do any of y'all know who this old guy is on the 20 pound note?"...

.... is NOT a good idea.
Not just a couple weeks after the Diamond Jubilee. They get a mite testy.


Catering the Campaign Office

Official White House-approved pizza.



Airline Food

...well, they call it food, but man, Air Cuisine ain't what it used to be.

Breakfast, United Airlines, inbound to Heathrow.


Friday, July 06, 2012

It's the Booze Talking - Number 9...number 9... number 9...


Life is an Iron


Thursday, July 05, 2012

Menawhile, Over At The Other 'Site...

So... I just spent 7 dog-years toiling as one of Bettman's Minions, and now I'm off to London.

A good number of Constant Readers have enjoyed the tales of the trials and tribulations at the various Olympic cities over the past few years...
Ready to be entertained/horrified?

This year I have a good number of tasks to attend and the venues that I will be supporting are spread out across London, and I'm not exactly feeling benevolent toward the whole shebang...but I will be continuing to publish my daily update.

If you have a preponderance of free time and/or you're one of those people that creep by a multi-car freeway accident looking for the bloodsmears on the asphalt, then by all means, please stop by and take a peek. You might find something of interest.

London 2012 Unofficial Staff Update Site
A/K/A - "6 weeks of British Cuisine and Dental Hygiene, Just shoot me now, please."

Hopefully I will be back in time for DAB II, which I will be doing my best to attend.


It's the Booze Talking - #8


Funny How That Works...

At the check-in counter on the way to London:
United Ticket Agent: "You need to put an ID tag on your bag."
Yours Truly: "Every time I do, the baggage handling equipment tears it off."
UTA: "Yeah...Funny how that works. Still... You need to have your name on your bag."
YT: "It is on there. It's printed on the United bag tag."
UTA: "No... You need another one, in case the tag is torn off."
YT: "You realize how asinine this discussion is, don't you?"
UTA: "Just humor me. Put another tag on the bag."
That the problem these days- just ignore the stupidity and follow the rules, sheeple.

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

New Shipment

A new load of Marketing Managers has just been delivered...


It's the Booze Talking - Lucky #7