Saturday, May 28, 2011

Exclusive Photos!

Seal Team Six K-9 Unit training...

(Hat tip to Coop, who always sends me good stuff...)


Thursday, May 26, 2011

UN Bedbugs and Human Rights Hypocrisy

Don't know who this dude is, but he nails it right in the Cojones.

(Yes, I could probably chase it down by Binging it on Google, but I'm just not motivated right now. I've been at STL since 4:50am and my give-a-shit's broken beyond repair.)

H/T to Jingles, who occasionally finds whet amongst the chaff.
And the occasional cobia.

Typographer Humor #6


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Defecation Is About To Hit The Ventilation in St. Louis.

They've evacuated us for the second time today...
The hail is hammering the roof of the arena- we can hear it down in the basement.

This weather is getting crazy here...


Typographer Humor #5


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Fun on the Menu & Bonus TWSS

Gotta be impressed with a restaurant manager that has no problem
dropping the F-Bomb actually ON the menu...


Did I have the Hot-As-Fuck sandwich?


I had Squealers.

Mmmm... Pigsicles. Yum.

On the way back to Scottrade after lunch:

Tech Rick: "Man there was a lotta meat on that bone."
Tech Rudy: "Yep, that's what she said last night."


Typographer Humor #4


Monday, May 23, 2011

St. Louis TWSS - Part 2

Tech Jerry: "That went in smoother than normal."
Tech Rudy: "That's what she said."


St. Louis TWSS

Tech Jerry : "There, now you've got your wood."
Tech Rick:  "That's exactly what she said."

Storm Magnet

Saturday night in Minneapolis, when we were having dinner, a storm washed through the area and did a ton a damage just north of downtown...

Sunday night, after I arrived in St. Louis a storm past just north of downtown after kicking the snot out of Joplin Mo...
Fortunately the brunt of the storm missed St. Louis, where the streets around the arena were filled with folks that were heading to the Bon Jovi concert.

Almost lunchtime here, and things are looking a little dark outside...
Better check the Radar...

Holy crap... Batten down the hatches, boys... She's fixin' blow.

I'm starting to think I'm a storm magnet...


Glaring Omission - St. Paul

I forgot one place we went for lunch that was oh-so-very-tasty-
Cossetta's Italian Deli, on 7th near the Xcel Center...
Awesome hot subs, pizza slices... Hoo Ha!


Typographer Humor #3


Sunday, May 22, 2011

Observations Minneapolis

Weather - Meh, with a side order of terror.
Especially the storm that blew through last night...

Hotel- Westin in downtown Minneapolis
A 2 out of 5.

The wireless phone didn't work, there were like 5 popped pixels in the TV, and the channel selection on the TV was poor...
(2 PBS channels, TNT was on two different channels, 4 shopping channels, and 3 ESPNs, Discovery, History and then ABC, NBC, and CBS.)

At Starwood properties you can opt for a $5 dollar voucher if you will forgo daily maid service... I skipped service and took the $10 to use for the breakfast buffet before heading to the airport...
I should have used the $10 to buy 2 cokes from the hotel sundry.
Overcooked (industrial) eggs, a greasy mass of limp bacon... Bacon this bad should be felony.
Coffee was marginal- but I couldn't get a spoon to stir it to save my life.
Asked Pedro 3 times "Ah! I shall get one for you immediate!"
I stirred it with my knife.
The pastries (silver dollar sized danish) were stale, and the oatmeal had scabbed over long before I had arrived.

Breugger's Bagles... Yum.
You can get a tasty burger at 508 bar & grill near Target Center.

Of interest: Thom Pham's Wondrous Azian Kitchen.
Dim Sum brunch... (Next time...)
Watch out for the bartender...

25 bucks for a punch in the face? I'd do it for $10.

And finally-
MSP (and Delta) suck out loud.
(no surprise, eh?)


Sadly, I've Had One Of These Before

Scatological discourse of epic proportions...
Decidedly NSFW; perhaps offensive to those of prudish or delicate sensibilities, but highly entertaining.

Read Gibbering Horror at Frizzen Sparks

Enjoy such literary gems such as...

"...she’d burn my underwear and make me start exfoliating my glutes with an angle grinder."

"...a portent of oncoming fecapocalypse..."

"...fetid ribbons of pure evil..."

"...barnacles scraped from Cthulu’s taint..."

"...a mercy flush to spare any unsuspecting coworkers lung damage..."

And the best:
"If there is a Congressional Medal of Honor for toilet plungers, the one at work deserves two."

Kudos to Graumagus, of the cast-iron colon...


Typographer Humor #2


Saturday, May 21, 2011

Typographer Humor #1


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

TheOnesday / Wednesday Meme

Yo BP... Am I just carrying this meme on my own? WTF?

(Not hugely motivated today... Would rather be out riding my bike!)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Fair Warning

For all you happy assholes out there that don't have a clue, this is fair warning:

I'm tired-tired-tired of you ignorant, mouth-breathing, inbred, hillbillies that only know how to parrot the Party Line without giving a thought of how you are applying your rhetoric.

The next time, while discussing the Tea Party's position on taxes and how the FedGov's unlimited growth/expansion and penchant for meddling in shit they have no business getting involved with, and the the first thing out of you mouth is "You justa buncha racist motherfuckers..." you're going to get a verbal beatdown the likes of which that will make Change The Sacred Name Of Arkansas* sound like a Shakespearean sonnet.

Is it racist to identify constitutionality of every new law?
Is it racist to demand a balanced federal budget?
Is it racist to want to simplify the tax system and reduce taxes?
Is it racist to audit federal government agencies for waste and constitutionality?
Is it racist to limit annual growth in federal spending?
Is it racist to repeal the healthcare legislation passed on March 23, 2010?
Is it racist to reduce earmarks?

I really don't think so.
Ergo, Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Look, you want examples of racism? Let me help you out...

"I want to go up to the closest white person and say: 'You can't understand this, it's a black thing' and then slap him, just for my mental health."
-- Charles Barron, a New York city councilman at a reparations rally, 2002

"Civil rights laws were not passed to protect the rights of white men and do not apply to them." -- Mary Frances Berry, Chairwoman, US Commission on Civil Rights

(I) "will not let the white boys win in this election."
-- Donna Brazile, Al Gore's Campaign Manager on the 2000 election 

"The old white boys got taken fair and square."
-- San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown after winning an election 

"The Medicaid system must have been developed by a white male slave owner. It pays for you to be pregnant and have a baby, but it won't pay for much family planning."
-- Jocelyn Elders 

The white man is our mortal enemy, and we cannot accept him. I will fight to see that vicious beast go down into the lake of fire prepared for him from the beginning, that he never rise again to give any innocent black man, woman or child the hell that he has delighted in pouring on us for 400 years."
-- Louis Farrakhan who campaigned for congresswoman Cynthia McKinney in 2002, City College audience in New York 

"There's no great, white bigot; there's just about 200 million little white bigots out there."
-- USA Today columnist Julienne Malveaux

"Reparations are a really good way for white people to admit they're wrong."
-- Zack Webb, University Of Kentucky NAACP 

"White folks was in caves while we was building empires... We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it."
-- Rev. Al Sharpton in a 1994 speech at Kean College, NJ

"The white race is the cancer of human history."
-- Susan Sontag 

 "Republicans bring out Colin Powell and J.C. Watts because they have no program, no policy. They have no love and no joy. They'd rather take pictures with black children than feed them." -- Donna Brazile, Al Gore's Campaign Manager for the 2000 election
"Black theology refuses to accept a God who is not identified totally with the goals of the black community.
If God is not for us and against white people, then he is a murderer, and we had better kill him.
The task of black theology is to kill Gods who do not belong to the black community. . . .
Black theology will accept only the love of God which participates in the destruction of the white enemy.
What we need is the divine love as expressed in Black Power, which is the power of black people to destroy their oppressors here and now by any means at their disposal.
Unless God is participating in this holy activity, we must reject his love."
-- James Cone - New York's Union Theological Seminary  - Jeremiah Wright's mentor.

Maybe I'm missing something- I don't see how you you come up with the following theorem:
"Demanding accountability from our Government and elected officials" = "Racism"

* One for polite company and children, and a more colorful one...

Monday, May 16, 2011

Situational Awareness

Evan Longoria saves a reporter with a bare-handed catch.

Damn. Dude's got eyes on the back of his head.


Sunday, May 15, 2011

Lesson #817

How to screw up Domestic Tranquility - Lesson #817

2003 Yamaha FJR 1300

0 to 60 in 3.2 seconds


Germany News Channel N24 Dumbassery


Really? The Phaser in the logo didn't give you a clue?
Or the Klingon batleth?

Correct logo for DevGru

Not this...


TheOnesday Meme...

In the spirit of BorePatch's Wednesday/TheOnesday Meme, I present an offering from our "You've gotta be shitting me" desk...

Rambama Action Figure
a/k/a Seal Team 6 Obama

I especially like the comments on this product:
"...what a disgrace you idiots are!"
"...and you're idolizing this prick! You desperate fools!"
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself..."

At if you absolutely have to have one...
(And if you do, you need to quit somkin' crack, hippie.)


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A Monkey On Your Back

Blogging can be somewhat addictive...

Ben, who was Ben in Florida, and who became Ben In China for a brief time,
is now Ben in the Mitt.

His website is always entertaining and informative and you could do worse than adding him to your RSS Reader.

Bon Chance, BitM... Keep the cards and letters coming.
(And as I have told you in the past, if you need a bank robbed or someone's legs broken, I'm your man.)

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Let Slip the Dog of War

"Two rights, two lefts and another right.
It's called the Dog Park.
Now step on it!"


TheOne'sday The Wednesday Meme

My man Borepatch proposes that people use humor and mockery of their leaders in order to take the edge off The Bad Times.
His examples are quite enlightening and entertaining...

As part of this, he proposes a meme, to carry on this noble tradition of Political Mockery.

My contribution to TheOne'sday Meme:

Q: Why don't they light candles during the services at
First Federal Church of the Obama-Messiah?

A: Because He likes to keep His followers in the dark.


Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Mischief Maker

"What? He liked it!"


Monday, May 02, 2011

Something For Everyone

Wow. One-stop shopping.


Narcissist In Chief

I watched the address by President Obama last night and was struck by the heavy-handed invoking the 9/11 attacks in a way that was really overblown, meant to highlight his much-vaunted oratorical skill. And his invocation of a portion of the Pledge of Allegiance at the end was cloyingly jingoistic.

What really struck me was his swagger, his strut as he approached the podium, and his narcissism as he spoke. In the end, it's all about him.

Tonight, I can report...

...shortly after taking office, I directed Leon Panetta...

I was briefed on a possible lead...

I met repeatedly with my national security team...

I determined that we had enough intelligence...

..and I authorized an operation...

Today, at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation...
(Oops? Thought this was LAST WEEK? - TBG)

I’ve made clear...

I’ve repeatedly made clear...

I called President Zardari... team has also...

These efforts weigh on me...

...every time I, as Commander-in-Chief...

Finally, let me say ...

I know that it has...
To me, it should have ALL been about the victims of OBL, the members of our military and our allies, and the 10-year-long hunt for this evil bastard, not a sound bite loaded re-election speech.

I was highly amused, however, while watching the run-up to the speech by the number of times that Geraldo Rivera mistakenly said "Obama" instead of "Usama".
Including saying "Yes, Obama is finally dead...Oops! I mean Usama! Usama's dead!"
What a dumbass.


Osama / Usama - Disposal of the Body Carcass

So… A burial at sea on a US Navy Ship…

Do you think some enterprising young seaman might have sewn the body up inside a hog carcass before dropping it overboard?
Or perhaps they just ran down to the Kitchen and grabbed a few pork loins to stuff into the shroud with the body?

We can only hope.


Sunday, May 01, 2011

New Product?

Oh, I hope so...

Or maybe not...