Monday, February 28, 2011

Dirty Talk in the Warehouse

Oh, it was a TWSS rich environment this morning as we were working on a new truss system for the speed serve cage.

Jingles: "Are you sure you have the right hole?"
TBG: "Yikes, that's exactly what she said."

And a little later...

Manny: "Man, that thing's huge!"
TBG: "Wow. Do I actually have to say it?"

Yes, our minds are in the gutter.
But then, the mind goes where the body is...


Sunday, February 27, 2011

New Addition - Part the Second

Her name's "Ariella"


Heritage Classic Revisited

One especially nice network segment was a fiber link between
HITS and Scoreboard Control...
(I send them score info, they give me clock data.)

HITS was up in the press box and scoreboard control was down at the field level, in a tent at the foot of the old scoreboard.

So, to get data back and forth we were allowed to re-task some existing fiber.
The fiber termination in the press box was easy- just get the building guy to open the room and BANG - Bob's yer uncle- fiber transceiver installed -thankewberrymuch...

The other end, however...

That involved a locked door too- and a 60' climb made for itty-bitty sign monkeys, and a crawlspace that would give a cockroach claustrophobia.


Then the ladder:

Yeah- that's 60' to the top.
And it's kinda hard to tell- but the space is very narrow.
So narrow in fact that I couldn't fit through the level partitions with my jacket and sweater on... I had to go up just wearing my shirt and jeans...
And even then it was pretty tight. And bloody f@#*ing cold. I was worried I'd need a shoehorn to get my ass back down to ground level when I was finished.

Top floor: Find the Fiber Cross-connect Box

It's down at the far side of the structure-
I thought the ladder plenum was tight...
This was worse.

Ok. Transceiver installed, network connection made, let's get out of this icebox and into a hot toddy.

Time to go down the ladder.

By this time the cold has set in; I'm shaking like a dog trying to pass a peach pit, my fingers are cramping up from the cold and I'm having a problem hanging onto the rungs of the ladder, but I made it.

I had one thought to console me after the Scoreboard Ordeal...

That, at 9:00pm or later on Sunday night, I'd have to climb back in that beast, remove my transceiver and re-set the original fiber connections...

My life is a carnival.


Thursday: Site Survey

What A Nice Golf Course


Calgary - Hotel Amenities

One thing I have to say about the NHL Leper Colony Vendor Hotel (Sheraton Suites) is that they had one cool amenity at their concierge desk...

Ben the Dog

Feeling lonesome? Need some canine quality time?
Schedule an hour with Ben and go for a walk in the park near the hotel.

Quintessential Chocolate Lab- he was awesome. Patient, well-behaved, photogenic...

As Travis would say "Labs are awesome."


Saturday, February 26, 2011

New Kitchen Toys: Bear Paws

Dinner: Smoked Pork Shoulder - (Coffe-Chipotle rub from Lisa@ Homesick Texan)


Note the new kitchen tools for pulling pork...

8 minutes later:

One pork shoulder, shredded, ready to serve.

Get them here...


New Addition - Part 1 - Hayes

Back in November I told you about Boz and Koa and their morning playtime...
That's still going on every weekday morning...

Recently they have been joined by a newcomer to the neighborhood - Hayes.
I'm not sure of his age, all I can tell you is that he's a cute little black lab puppy.

(All pics clickable)

Bozie & Hayes

Boz is trying to teach him how to deal with the camel-colored menace from across the street. He doesn't listen. He's more interested in kisses.

Nom nom nom...

"I's gonna chew on dis ear for a second."

"Oooo. What big teefs you has."

"Oh my goodness! Don't look, I think Koa is coming!"

"I will save you from the Dreaded Ridgeback!"

BoZ: "Can you fit his whole head in your mouth?"
Koa: "Let me see... Yep!"

It's not just "I bite your face" at the Tanglewood Playground;
Occasionally there is some digging that must be undertaken.
Word is that there is buried treasure.

Me? Digging? I'm afraid not. See the bunny or the Ridgeback."

Wasn't me, man. I'm nice and clean.


Friday, February 25, 2011

Out of Context - IT Trailer-Style

"You better watch out or I'm going to pull a Woody on you..."
- Constant Reader Luc, threatening stage a mutiny in the IT Trailer.

Again, ewww.


Overheard in the Trailer - Pt. 2

JR: "It's going to be big..."
JR: "Don't say it..."


Thursday, February 24, 2011

Overheard in the Trailer

JR - "I don't like the ones with two bones. I like the ones with one bone."
TBG - "That's what she said.... I guess I really didn't have to say it, but for the sake of closure it was better that I did."


Could Be A TWSS...

"Mine's fat and juicy. You're has had the shit cooked out of it."
- JR to DanO regarding their exact same steak order at dinner Monday night.

I guess it's more like "Ewww!" rather than a "That's what she said."


Heritage Classic - The Lost Posts

I was busier than a one-toothed man at a corn-on-the-cob eating contest this past week. I had plenty of material, just no time to throw it up on the 'blog... time permits over the next couple days you should see some belated
Heritage Classic content.

Here's a starter:

Are you kidding me, or what?
This IS Canada, right?
What the hell good is 2 beers?


Gulf Oysters Are Back!

...and my friend Lisa at Homesick Texan has the goods how to serve them up right, if you like them fried not raw.

Fried oysters with chipotle-lime dipping sauce


There will be Ostreidae on my menu this weekend...


Sunday, February 20, 2011

Gun Owners in New York

 The Rich, the Famous, the Armed

Money quote:
"Having a swimming pool is way more dangerous than having a gun..."
- .357 owner Alexis Stewart (daughter of Martha Stewart)

Wow. Who knew?


Lots To Do & So Little Time To Do It

It's been a hectic couple days here in Calgary-

(Deleted: Long description of me whining about running cables outside in the cold.)

(Deleted: Me wrenching my arm patting my myself on the back for the awesome job I think I'm doing. [Mostly fictional])

(Deleted: Highly exaggerated account of wrestling with Anaconda-like cold-rated Cat-5 cables. More whining about long cable runs in the cold.)

One thing I won't delete is the huge thanks I owe to Sal from Toronto & Constant Reader and all around Good Guy Luc from Montreal for helping me last night run the last few TV & Clock cables in the TV Compound...
They were awesome...
Thanks guys- my semi-frostbitten fingers are still intact thanks to your generous efforts.

Now the key will be to keep the cables intact after the Heritage Classic tonight, and in place for the WHL Hitmen/Pats game on Monday afternoon... Some of the trucks will be pulling out after the Flames/Habs game, and partial breakdowns play merry hell with existing cabling.

Coming soon, if time permits, the tale of The Scoreboard Fiber Adventure.
A Big Guy, a tiny crawlspace, questionable FDDI patches, and violated FCC regulations due to transmissions of profanity over the airwaves.
Soon to be a major motion picture.


Thursday, February 17, 2011

Canadian Oddities - Curling

JR: "Hey everyone, Lets Go Curling!
Everyone: "Yay! Let's go!

So I have just left the airport,  driving through the snowdrifts trying to get the hotel in downtown Calgary, and I get a text from JR.

JR to TBG: Hotel Lobby, 8:20. Curling.


I still haven't recovered from the double testicle-grope at TSA or the anal probe I got from Canadian Customs & Immigration...
CCI:"Looks like you had a felony charge against you in 1995... Tell us about it."
TBG:"What?! You're going to have to tell ME about it, since I don't know anything about it. Last time I was in jail was that little incident in Panama in 1981."

TBG to JR: "Will there be booze & food?"
You've got to have your priorities.

JR to TBG: "Restaurant & Full Bar."

Ok... Twist my arm.

So... Here I am in th e lobby-
8:15 - Nobody
8:20 - Still alone
8:25 - Fuggit. They left me.

TBG to JR: "8:20 in lobby. Where is everyone?"

JR to TBG: "Oops. Lobby at Westin. Forgot we have you in the OTHER hotel."

(Apparently ne'er-do-wells and sub-standard peons like Yours Truly get to stay at the OTHER hotel... The NHL Leper Colony Inn, I guess.)

So, a 3 block walk in -2 degree temps later, I was on the bus and we were off to the North Hill Curling Club for an evening of slipping and sliding and tossing 40lb hunks of granite at each other.

First, a little orientation, a demonstration, a warning and some rules.

Don't pick up the stones, slide them; if you're a righty, slider goes on your left foot. Get the rocks in the circle. If you fall, get up quick- we don't like butt-prints melted into the sheets.

And we were off-

Team IT was amusing.
DanO, JR, Scott & Luc were playing against a crew from Events- Dean, Sofia and two staffer I didn't know.

I got quite a few action shots-

Luc started things off... He had quite a knack for the game and will be joining a curling club back in Montreal when he goes home. He might even build a curling sheet in the backyard at his humble abode.

DanO listens to a strategy discussion between Dean and Sofia prior to his first throw.

The actual throw is less graceful than planned...

But he did improve his form through the evening...

Ahhh. A much smoother delivery.

JR had some issues...

A good line up...

Nice control...

And for the release...


Uh oh... Better pull that tongue in, you ain't Michael Jordan.

And down he goes...

The USS JR has capsized...

He's quickly back on his feet, though... No damage done.

He had a few other issues-

He needed assistance to get the slider on his foot. Dean, from the other team took pity on him and gave him an assist.

Sofia showed good form on her delivery...

Nice extension. Very artistic...

Scott had an interesting delivery too.

Kind of a stand-up form.

Hey, whatever works for you...

DanO and JR were on-hand to sweep the stone down the sheet...

For a bunch of noobs, the game was quite competitive.

Team IT landing a stone in the center ring...

Curling - It's not just Snowbilly Bowling...

As much as they tried to tell us how important things like Respect, Decorum, Adherence to the Rules, and Good Sportsmanship were, there was a group on one of the far sheets that were playing by some odd variation on standard curling rules.

Ummm. Ouch!?

Hmmm. Maybe I'll look into membership at a local curling club...


Dear Testicle Squeezer Association

A salute for the great job you're doing.

Still not over it.


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Make Up Your Mind- (the whole post)

(It might behoove Constant Readers and Noobs to familiarize themselves with the concept of the Big Guy Irritation Index - Here & here)

Scheduled departure time: 11:11am

9:40 Arrive JIA, check in.

9:59am: TBG at the gate.
(yes, scanned AND groped. I'm actually starting to look forward to it...)

10:20am: Plane arrives

We haven't boarded yet...
Starting to worry...

Announcement: Weather @ ORD, flight canceled.
(cue stampede to gate desk for flight changes)

TBG leaves gate to go back to ticketing desk to rebook.
Try to contact United toll-free number while walking back to check-in desk.

Reach desk
Wait in line (one person in front of me)

Start trying to get routing/seats to Calgary

Not much luck.
Best bet: JAX-IAH-LAS-YYC,
Getting in just after midnight. Maybe.

Call from gate: they are reinstating the flight. Get back to the gate. Now!

TSA, sensing stress and aggravation, sends me to the Radiation & Ball-jiggling line, for a second dose of scanning & groping.
They've lit the fuse now...
There is a bit of a verbal beat-down at moderate-to-high volume when the TSA testicle toucher tells me to assume the position:
"Hey- those gloves are for my protection as well as yours.
I just watched you grope the crotch on five different guys wearing the same pair of gloves, now you're going to run them all over me? I have news for you.
If you touch me without changing them, I'll see what I can do about having your ass brought up on charges of assualt..."

The Ball-Checker has a quick confab with his Supervisor, who, in essence tells him to change his gloves and get that loud-mouthed bastard out of the checkpoint.

A very cursory pat-down followed and I was on my merry way.

Back at the gate. Boarding has started.

On plane. Bulkhead, aisle.
(the only thing that actually worked out for me today.)

Pushback & Departure

Hopefully the one hour delay doesn't screw up my connection to Calgary.


Make Up Your Mind

Why I only have relatively few flights left in me before I snap & go postal

- and I'll be going even more postal on Blogger, since it ate most of my post...


And now the mouthbreather at the bar next to me in Chicago is aching for a chance to carry his teeth home in his pocket.

God, why do you surround me with assholes?

Monday, February 14, 2011

I Guess It's Video Day Here At L2UJ...

I'll bet he didn't see this coming...

In Estonia, snow cleans *you* off the roof...


New Dialects From LA?

Ran it through Google's AutoTranslate...
It even threw in the towel and said WTF.

Have another Vodka & Tonic, Serene...


Monday, February 07, 2011

Do You Guys Even Have An Editor On Staff?

You're kidding, right?

Let's see how long the headline survives.
Story here.

I need to go back and see if there are comments enabled on this story...



I Guess Adam Didn't Like the Show.

Great thought, though.

(H/T - Newsday Laura)


Sunday, February 06, 2011

One Last Commercial

The snuck one last one in after the trophy presentation:

A Movie/Chevy commercial "Chevrolet Camaro / Transformers III" - Pretty good. I liked it when Bumblebee smacked the mallet-wielding coyote across the lot...

Ok, now we're done. Again.


White House: "Do As I Say, Not As I Do"

Kindred spirit Midwest Chick calls out the FLOTUS on the White House Superbowl Party...

Was the deep dish pizza made with low or non fat cheese?  What about the brats?

(Go MC, Give 'em hell.)


Superbowl 4th Qtr Commercials

Bridgestone "Beaver" - Win. Big win.

Go Daddy "Contractual Obligations" - I refuse to go to their site just on general principles. Scroo 'em.

VW - "Beetle" - Fun concept.

Mercedes "Welcome to the Family" - Why bother?

Fox "House" Mean Joe Green Parody- Awesome

Chevy "Camaro commercial concept" - Like... But I still won't buy one

Movie: Limitless - Wait for it on Netflix.

Sketchers Shoes "KimK" - Anything with any Kardashian is an automatic Fail.

Fox Series: Terranova - Looks good, but Fox will screw it up...

E*trade - "Peppers" - Funny, but I don't get it...

Fox Series: Justified - "What's he doing with his other hand?" Very nice.

Movie: Mars Needs Moms - Interesting, but I won't see it until 2015. On TBS.

Wendy's - "What's that taste like?" - Funny...

Acura - Who cares.

That's pretty much it...


Superbowl 3rd Qtr.

More commercials... "Poison taster" - It was a stretch. Not especially amusing.

E*trade "Enzo" - Funny, especially the end.

Best Buy - Ozzy & Bieber -
"What's a Bieber?"
"Looks like a girl."
Uh... WTF?

Pirates of the Caribbean - Wow... Zombies & Mermaids?! Must see!

Mini Cooper "Cram it in the boot" - Nice. "Test Baby" - Yikes That was too real.

Groupon "Tibet" - Why bother.

Coke "Line in the Sand" - Pretty good.

Stella Artois "Torchsinger" - Nicely done.

CarMax "Full Service" - Pointless, but funny.

Chrysler "Detroit" - Utter bullshit. And WTF is up with Eminem in 2 commercials?

NFL "Superbowl Best fans - TV Tribute" - Cute.

One Qtr to go.


Halftime Review


Game reset- uninspired.

"Sounds of the game" sucked. "Will.I.Am" - Why bother.

Halftime show - Nice tech,
Good tunes... I liked the Misirlou sample.
But I can't stand Usher, though.
TWWKMT liked Slash with "Sweet child of mine".

Overall, good show, if you like that sort of thing.

(Edit: except for the tech malfunctions like the audio screwups, the unlit stage, and the random costume light failures. - H/T to BiF)

Hardees "Are these all your friends?" - Yikes!

NASCAR "He's a fan." so-so...

More and more...


Superbowl Commercials - Qtr 2

Survey says:

Budweiser "Tiny Dancer" - Cool.

Telaflora "Your rack is unreal." - Wow. Double points for getting Faith Hill to go along with it...

BMW "X3" - Who cares.

Motorola "Tablet" - huh?

BMW - "Chchchchanges" Who cares Pt. 2

Coke "Dragon" - Pretty good.

VW "Vader" - Awesome.

Snickers "Loggers" - I LOL'd "Monkeys" - Sorta funny, but not if your job sucks.

Chevy "Facebook" - Cute. 

Doritos "Healing Chips" Pretty cool, but got a little tasteless at the end with dead grandfather.

CarMax "I feel like a..." -Creative but weird.

More coming...


Superbowl Commercials - 1st Qtr.

Our (YT, Mom & TWWKMT. PC is out, ostensibly earning a buck by babysitting.) take on the Superbowl commercials:

Doritos, "Pug" - Very Good.

Doritos "The best part." - Eww.

Audi - "Release the hounds!" - Win.
("Hit 'em with the Kenny G...."  Ha! )

Bud Light "Kitchen Makeover" - Meh.

Bud Light "Pirate Movie" - Better.

Chevy Silverado - "I didn't know this town had a volcano." - Very well done.

Pepsi Max "Diet" - Nice. Love it when the girl jogger gets "canned".

Cowboys & Aliens - Can't wait!

Kia "Epic" - Nice connectivity.

Brisk "Eminem- I don't do commercials" - Meh, also.

Bridgestone "Email" - Been there, wanted to do that.

GoDaddy "Joan Rivers" -Ewwwww! Double Ewwwww!

More to come-


Saturday, February 05, 2011

What is The Internet?

From waaaaay back in 1994...
Couric & Gumbel trying to figure out what an email address is...

We've come a long way since then...

Friday, February 04, 2011

True Love vs. Bacon

From The Otameal