Saturday, July 31, 2010

Dear Canada: Can't You Take A Joke?

Transport Canada won’t turn the other cheek over decals
Ministry bans stickers on bags depicting cocaine, sex toys, money and bound stewardess

Transport Canada is not amused.
“Joking around like this could possibly a serious violation of the aeronautics act,” James Kusie said Friday in an email to the Star. “Joking about potentially trafficking illegal substances, or worse, is not funny and the government will use the full force of the of the law to ensure Canadians who travel by air are safe.”
It's a fucking STICKER...

Here's a toonie- go have someone pull that bug out of your ass.

Get 'em here -
"Caution: Some of these stickers may cause offense to airport and immigration staff. But you would have figured that out whilst enjoying those cavity searches."


Friday, July 30, 2010

Auf Wiedersehen Theo

Theo Albrecht, a co-owner of Trader Joe's in the United States and one of Europe's richest men, has died.
He was 88.
Story here.

Looks like a good occasion for the Trader Joe's Song


Dog Days

While visiting the Fam up in Greenville SC for the wedding last week, we brought the Boz along with us.
Chip and Lauren also have a black lab named Capers who's about 6 months older than the Dark Menace.

If the dogs weren't in the pool, they were underfoot playing what Pete called "I bite your face".

 Lovely, aren't they.


Bend Over, Here It Comes Again

Business as usual in teh Urkel Administraton.
If you can't legislate it legally, find a way to sneak it through the process, regardless of how much people are against the measure.

Obamacare and the cloture motions, recess appointments to avoid confirmation hearings...
Here's yet another effort to subvert the process...

Memo outlines backdoor 'amnesty' plan
via WaTimes

With Congress gridlocked on an immigration bill, the Obama administration is considering using a back door to stop deporting many illegal immigrants - what a draft government memo said could be "a non-legislative version of amnesty."
 So much for established process and our system of checks and balances.
 I guess he'll disband the House and Senate next and just legislate everything by fiat...
And since he is the Lightbringer and knows what is best for everyone, he'll just do away with elections since we won't need those any more either...

(And by-the-way, TRav- before you start yammering about "Bush did it too..." just Up the Fuck Shut, DamnYankee. When your boy campaigns on a platform of "no more business as usual" and  "most ethical and transparent Administration evar", you are not allowed to use the schoolyard tit-for-tat excuse. Just sayin'.)


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I Need To Re-Evaluate Some of My Choices

You are 16% hippie.
Ok, you conservative soul.  Do you even believe in global warming?  Loosen that necktie a little, and try some organic food.  It actually does taste better.  And go to a farmer's market--they're fun.

Are you a hippie?

I got this from Breda...
I'm a little amazed that my result was this high... Seems like most of the comments at her 'site were in the 0 to 8% range...

I guess I need to get out and buy a new Ford EarthFucker SUV...


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Obama and The Fake Tag

Caveat Emptor
Having bought quite a few Fauxlexes and replica TAGs in my day, I find this essay a brilliant analogy-

Obama and The Fake Tag

By Kevin Jackson  at American Thinker

The election of Obama reminds me of years ago, when I bought a fake Tag Heuer watch while visiting Manhattan. Normally I walk right by street vendors, but this watch caught my eye. It was sleek and clean, and some described it as gorgeous. Only true Tag aficionados could tell that the watch was a fake. 

The thing that impressed me about my fake Tag was that it had the "weight" of a real Tag. It didn't feel like the lightweight replicas I had seen in Mexico, China, and Africa. And the best part? My fake Tag cost me $7!

My fake Tag was made of a high-gloss "white gold" electroplate -- okay, stainless steel -- with a sea-blue oyster shell face. It had a curved glass bezel, not plastic. The contrast between the high-gloss steel and the face gave my fake Tag a regal appearance.

My fake Tag had all the real Tag markings on the back, though I certainly wasn't given papers to authenticate my fake Tag. However, if I had asked, the salesperson might have produced them.

I wore the watch everywhere and received numerous compliments, and I was so confident about my fake Tag that occasionally, I would allow questioners to inspect it firsthand. I was proud of my fake Tag. People would see my fake Tag and say things like, "I didn't know Tag made anything except diving watches. That is an exquisite Tag! Where did you get it?" 

"Oh this thing..." I would deflect to keep from outright lying.

"Diving!" I thought. I didn't dare get my fake Tag near anything moist, for that would mean certain death. In rainstorms, I took off my fake Tag, placing it in the driest available pocket. If I were in a high humidity climate, I kept fake Tag near a de-moisturizer packet, again in my pocket. I treated fake Tag better than I did my real Tag, which was a true Tag diving watch.

One day a few months after acquiring my fake Tag, I found it lying on my nightstand, lifeless. 

"Not for long," I panicked aloud.

I rerouted a few errands that day so I could visit a watch repair kiosk at the mall, hoping to have them breathe life back into fake Tag. I had gotten accustomed to the look of fake Tag on my wrist. Without it, I felt naked.

I approached my fake Tag's potential life-giver with mixed emotions. Would fake Tag be good enough to fool a watch expert? Would the sales clerk unknowingly compliment me as others had on my fake Tag? Or would he "out" me as a pretentious sellout for having purchased what I knew was not the real thing?

I laid my fake Tag on the countertop, and the young salesperson said, "Wow, nice Tag! You're gonna want a Tag battery for this."

I said, "Well how much is a Tag battery?"

The salesman said, "Twenty-four dollars. But you wouldn't want to skimp on a Tag by getting a Chinese battery, or you could ruin the inner workings."

Now I had a dilemma.

"Just out of curiosity, how much is the Chinese battery for a Tag?" I inquired.

The salesperson said, "Three dollars. But again, you could ruin a Tag if you...because Chinese batteries are...blah blah blah."

I didn't even hear the rest of his education on fine watches and cheap batteries. Circling through my mind was the fact that I had a $7 watch that I wanted people to believe was a $2,500 watch and the idea of putting a battery in it that was costing me more three times more than the cost of fake watch!

Liberal America in electing Obama bought a fake Tag. And the batteries have run down in less than a year. Obama may still look good, but he's draining his political juice.

The Liberals feel trapped, because they simply can't admit that they have bought a fake Tag, and maintenance of their fake costs more than the fake himself!

As for that battery salesman, I suspect he knew my Tag was a fake. Why not take advantage of somebody who was a poser? I was ripe for the picking.

The moral to the story: Don't settle for the fake, as it will cost you three times more in the end.


Sunday, July 25, 2010

Congratulations to Chip & Lauren!

Mr & Mrs. Chip Hunt


Lauren in all her glory.

As Lisa remarked on Thursday:
"She doesn't have to Hunt for the perfect guy any longer, and a little Klas has come to the Hunt family..."

To the happy couple, my best words of wisdom:

To keep your marriage brimming, 
with love in the wedding cup, 
whenever you're wrong, 
admit it; 
whenever you're right, 
shut up. 


Friday, July 23, 2010

the Kids

Kyle & Hunter

United States of Wal Mart

(I didn't fact check this, but the numbers and postulates are reasonable...
But I'm not sure I want the ditzy Wal Mart cashier working the controls at the DMV or the Social Security Administration.

(via an e-mail from Jingalls.)
Wal-Mart vs. The Morons

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute.

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy.

This should be read and understood by all Americans - Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature,

It is now official: You are ALL corrupt morons:

a. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.

b.. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.
c.. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.

d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more.

e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.

f.. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.

g.. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars.



Makes more sense than what we have going on right now...


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Ball

My ball. Let me shows you it.
You may look, but you cannot touch.


Monday, July 19, 2010

Future Shock

I had the dubious pleasure of undergoing a full DOT physical on Friday, including the ever-popular turn-your-head-and-cough rubber glove treatment.

Hernia Exam. So much fun...

Somewhere between discussing colorblindness levels (I barely squeaked through) and explaining several of my myriad scars (tattoos with better stories) we got on to the topic of the stemming of the oil leak and the fact that the Teleprompter-reader-in-Chief would no doubt take sole credit for plugging the hole...
Whereupon the Doctor launched into a surprising Anti-Urkel tirade.
"That bastard's gonna bankrupt every doctor in the country- Hospital and clinics will become factories staffed by veterinary school drop outs. 90% of existing student loans for Med School attendees will be defaulted since they won't be able to get a job that will enable them to pay the loans off. No sane or intelligent person will even go to medical school, since it will be the equivalent of getting a government job once they graduate..." and on and on...

Gee- Thanks Doc! Wait... Is that a condom on a stick?

As I was leaving he followed up with - "Go do a search on HIPAA and HITECH...
It'll show you what were going to see in the next few years..."


After reading through quite a bit of governmental double speak I started to see this tableau:

Day 62 of the New World Health Regime

Obesity Czar to his Minions:
"Ok... Let's do Duval County Florida next...
Give me a list of all the men ages 17 to 35 with a body mass index greater than 25% and the ones 35 and above with a BMI of 27%. Run an exception query to make sure they aren't exempt due to diabetes or something.
Send them an email with a 90 day mandate to get within spec. Notify their employers; let them know that these guys have 90 days to square their asses away or it's off to Club Fed for Nutrition and Fitness re-education."

HIPAA Standards HIT 170.302

(e) Record and chart vital signs.
(1) Vital signs. Enable a user to electronically record, modify, and retrieve a patient’s vital signs including, at a minimum, the height, weight, blood pressure, temperature, and pulse.

(2) Calculate body mass index. Automatically calculate and display body mass index (BMI) based on a patient’s height and weight.
(g) Incorporate laboratory test results.

(1) Receive results. Electronically receive clinical laboratory test results in a structured format and display such results in human readable format.

(2) Display codes in readable format. Electronically display in human readable format any clinical laboratory tests that have been received with LOINC® codes.

(3) Display test report information. Electronically display all the information for a test report specified at 42 CFR 493.1291(c)(1) through (7).

(4) Update. Enable a user to electronically update a patient’s record based upon received laboratory test results.
(h) Generate patient lists. Enable a user to electronically select, sort, retrieve, and output a list of patients and patients’ clinical information, based on user-defined demographic data, medication list, and specific conditions.
(n) Public health surveillance. Electronically record, retrieve, and transmit syndromebased public health surveillance information to public health agencies in accordance with one of the standards specified in §170.205(g).

...And of course, we shall never let a crisis go to waste...
(p) Emergency access. Permit authorized users (who are authorized for emergency situations) to access electronic health information during an emergency.

Is it time to get off the grid yet?


Friday, July 16, 2010

Flogging the Dolphin, So To Speak...

I got a great chuckle the other day...

An email from KK:

Got this email (below) and attached photos from my brother, Dave. He's holding the Marlin in one of the pics. Dave's retired, lives in  NC. Now works for  yadda yadda yadda...
Thought you'd enjoy the pics & story. He's coming down to to visit at the end of the month. We're talking about chartering a boat and going deep sea fishing....brothers, sisters, inlaws, etc.....

 Here are a few pictures of our trip last Sunday. We took my boat and were out 45 miles from Oregon Inlet, 30 Dolphin and a small Blue Marlin. We had porpoise rubbing there bellies on the bow of the boat while we were trolling. My buddy reached down and rubbed their belly. Good day, the water calmed down as the day went on.
The report says the dolphin are 8 miles off the beach. Hopefully we will load up again.
And there were some lovely pictures...

Mmmmmahi mahi! Yum!

But the knee slapper was the description about the Tursiops "rubbing their bellies" against the boat, and the guy rubbing the stomach of the porpoise...

I had to send her a note...

To: KK

You're going to love this:

The porpii weren't "rubbing their bellies"...They were masturbating.

Kathy from the DRC says that tursiops are the horniest mammals around *...

They have a problem with the males at the DRC "scrubbing one off" on the swim platforms in the lagoon during the public performances - having to explain the behavior to the tourists.
And the staff learns to get out of the water pretty quickly when the boys get frisky...

Looks like the fishing trip had a Happy Ending for everyone involved.

Gives new meaning to "Punching the Porpoise" eh?

I got a follow-up from her...

From: KK

I will never hug my brother again.
Won't even shake his hand. Nope. Never.

*Arthur F. McBride, D.O. Hebb, Behavior of the captive bottle-nose dolphin, Tursiops truncatus, Journal of Comparative and Physiological Psychology, Volume 41, Issue 2, April 1948, Pages 111-123, ISSN 0021-9940, DOI: 10.1037/h0057927.

If It's Not One Thing It's Another

Oh Hell.

Kinda glad that my trip across TX got canceled after seeing this...

I though that during my drive across the great state of Texas all I would have to worry about was not antagonizing the Nazi Youth that run the TDOT weigh stations and instigating a full cavity search...
(Not my cavities- the TSA has done *that* so many times I'm actually starting to enjoy it...)
No, I mean the kind of search where I have to unload tons of crap out of the truck in the delightful Texas sunshine.
The kind of search where they find lots of "Undocumented Workers" hiding in the back of the large commercial vehicle.

Now I learn there are worse things wandering the rest areas and by-roads of the I-10 Corridor...

From Buzz:
A barn in Hood County, Texas, has become ground zero in the hunt for the chupacabra.

Earlier this week, animal control officer Frank Hackett shot and killed what was unquestionably one of the ugliest creatures to ever walk the planet. That much we know. What's less clear is whether or not the departed creature was the elusive goat-sucking beast.

Interestingly, that wasn't the only chupacabra sighting around Hood County. A second creature was spotted and killed several miles away. Both appear to be either hairless coyotes, extremely ugly dogs, or, who knows? Maybe the thing they call el chupacabra.

In the wake of the discovery, Web searches on "chupacabra sightings" and "chupacabra texas" both roared to life, as did Web lookups for "chupacabra translation" and "chupacabra definition." According to Virtue Science, the name literally translates to "goat sucker." Legend states that the beast would attack goats and suck their blood. Think of them as a less sexy version of "Twilight"'s infamous vampire Edward Cullen.

Officer Hackett was careful not to say whether or not this is really the mysterious beast. He's going to wait for the DNA tests before he makes up his mind. There is one thing he does know: "It wasn't normal." And another officer on the scene commented that she'd "never seen anything like it."

Below you can watch the locals discuss their findings, but beware. The images of the creature are quite nasty.

I wonder if these critters could be considered "Anchor Babies"...


How Much?!

I am no longer on my way to LA.


Herein is the lesson:
When someone tells you "No problem, don't worry about it."
It WILL be a problem. Worry about it.

Practical Application:
Last week-
SL: It'll be no problem... I've done the math- it'll be below 26k.
Yours Truly: You're sure...? I don't have a Class B...
SL:  No worries. It's all cool.
YT: Ok... It's all you.

Truck is packed full of event equipment- everything from portable airconditioners, bins of cheeseboroughs, videowall modules, iron structure pipe, cables & tools...

I look inside that truck and think to myself. "Nofuckinway."

Search out SL and brace him regarding The Truck
YT: You're sure? Looks like 50 pounds of shit in a 12 pound bag.
SL: I told you before- I've done the math. It's within spec.

Who am I to doubt a professional equipment wrangler?

Little voice in the back of my head: "Go get the truck weighed before departing."

I go home to pack.

Thursday 6:30 AM-
Preflight exam.

My key for the padlock on the truck door doesn't work.

TXT to Hamster: I need your key for the truck. Mine doesn't work.
Hamster: I'll be there in a few minutes.

FYI - Those high-tech discus locks- even a wrong key will turn in the keyway, it just doesn't throw the bolt.
When you check to see if the key works, make sure it really opens the lock, not just that the key turns in the cylinder. No charge for that one...

8:00am - On the road. - I-95 to I-10.

This truck has a governor on it... 65mph. Period.
I could get it up to 66.5...going downhill . With a tailwind.

The engine seems to be working extra hard...
The needle on the Water Temp gauge is flipping back and forth between 185 and 200...
The needle hits 200 then the auxiliary cooling fan kicks in for 20 seconds and gets the temp back down to185.
It's OK for about 40 seconds, then the temps is back to 200.
This could be A Sign.
It's 85 degrees outside.
I wonder how bad it will get as I drive across West Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and Death Valley.

10:30 AM

I'm sitting on the scale platform, waiting  for the light to go green... It's taking longer than usual.
I have a bad feeling.

A grandmotherly lady in a FDOT uniform and an FDOT patrol officer come out to the pad.

Grandma: "Kin ah see your registration?" she drawls.
YT hands over truck registration.
Grandma: "You jus a leeeetle overweight." (insert joke here.)
FDOT Officer: "Pull over here by the building and exit the truck with all your papers. I need your manifest, license, insurance, medical card, DOT ID, rental agreement and any other paperwork you've got.
Once I finish with you you can come see here about the weight problem." (Again, insert joke here.)

YT: "Yessir. No problem sir."
(I have learned through painful experience that regardless of your guilt or innocence, arguing or getting an attitude with an officer or any type is A Bad Thing... When I get tagged - regardless of circumstance - I am Joe Cooperative... When you're 6'5 and 300+ and you start copping a 'tude, LEO's start thinking about the Tazer vs .40 Cal option in order to ensure their personal safety.
That's why I'm "Mr Nice Guy."... It push comes to shove, my attorney will argue the finer points of  the case while I sit in the chair and try to look like the chiorboy that I am.)

Officer Friendly goes to get his car, long enough for me to grab my folder with all my paperwork and to send a quick text.

TXT to SL: "I'm going to KILL you."

Officer Friendly reviews all my paperwork, credentials, and logbooks...we discuss the finer points of log books, DOT medical certification and the fines that I might encounter should I choose to push onward.
Basically- Cargo overweight for that class of truck, truck overweight for my rating. Fines are graduated for offense, additional fines for out-of-state vehicles - especially in NM and AZ.
Probably be better to crossload to a bigger truck if it can be done in time and still make the delivery deadline in LA.

He wrote up an inspection citation, then I went to face the music about the weight.

Grandma: "Honey- that truck is runnin' at about 33 thousand...I'm gonna have to issue you a little fine..."

33,000 pounds? And it shouldn't be over 26,000?!

TXT to SL: "Truck is 7000 lbs over. WTF?"
SL: "Did they weigh it without *you* in the truck?"
YT:  "Yeah-- I forgot and wore my depleted uranium underwear."

I got my paperwork (including the citation for the fine for the truck being over the limit) and headed back to Jax.

1:00 PM
At this point a minor miracle occurred-
I arrived and pulled into the loading dock and there were 10 or 12 event staff waiting...
As the door went up it was all asses and elbows...
We unloaded that truck in less than 30 minutes.
We had a 36k truck standing by and cross loaded to that truck in about 90 minutes.
This is, as we say in the business, Pretty Fucking Amazing.

The pro-driver showed up at 5 and the truck headed back out the door...
I'm going to start studying for the next level of CDL certification...I've put it off long enough.


Thursday, July 15, 2010

Recoil Therapy, Redux

Another Tuesday, another session of recoil therapy.
(I'm going to miss it in the next few weeks...)

. 44 Mag Colt Anaconda, Bond Arms .45 Snake Slayer, H&K P30L 9mm

In addition to the plate steel silhouettes in the background of the above photo we also have a rack of steel falling plates. (I'm not allowed to shoot the Anaconda at them...)

You see the nice little dimples caused by booolits hitting the plates?

If said booolits are underpowered handloads, you get Range Daisies when the boolits hit and spread out.

Purty, ain't they?

When you fire normal full metal jacketed rounds, or jacketed hollow points, or anything else for that matter-
you get spall.

This is the timber on the sides of the range near the plate rack.

This is why you don't want to be anywhere nearby when a booolit hits a hard surface...

Detail of the surface:

Really... the copper jacket makes for nasty shrapnel...
Always wear you shooting glasses... This stuff can travel a long distance, and it hurts when it hits you.


Traveling Companion

Say hello to Delilah...
My travel partner for the next 5 days.
Jax to LA by Sunday night.
Woo hoo.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Miss January

Best Pin-Up calendar evar.

h/t toDH...who always shares the best stuff.


Monday, July 12, 2010

Joe & Jose - Follow the Money


You have two families: "Joe Legal" and "Jose Illegal".
Both families have two parents, two children, and live in California .

Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted.

Jose Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number,
and gets paid $15.00 cash "under the table".

Ready? Now pay attention...

Joe Legal:
$25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00 per year.
Now take 30% away for state and federal tax;
Joe Legal now has $31,231.00.

Jose Illegal:
$15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.00 per year.
Jose Illegal pays no taxes.
Jose Illegal now has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year.
Joe Legal now has $24,031.00.

Jose Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year.
Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per year.
Joe Legal now has $18,031.00.

Jose Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps and welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year.
Joe Legal now has $9,631.00.

Jose Illegal receives a $500.00 per month federal rent subsidy. Jose Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year.
Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for automobile insurance.
Joe Legal now has $7,231.00.

Jose Illegal says, "We don't need no stinkin' insurance!" and still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc.

Jose Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month.

Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work.

Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.

Joe Legal's and Jose Illegal's children both attend the same school. Joe Legal pays for his children's lunch while Jose Illegal's children get a government sponsored lunch.
Jose Illegal's children have an after school ESL program. Joe Legal's children go home.

Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services,
but Joe paid for them and Jose did not pay.

Does any of this strike you as a little one-sided?


Preview of Coming Attractions

Coming soon! To a newscast, police report or the front-page of a fishwrapper near you...

Uncle Jay's Mid-July Cross Country Road Trip
No concerts, no tea party gatherings, no 2nd Amendment rallies...
Just The Big Guy in a truck. And a plane. And a taxi. And another truck.

View July in a larger map

Hide the wimminfolk and lock up the livestock.


Sunday, July 04, 2010

Long ago and not so far away, I sat through an interminable class as part of my Marine Biology studies,
one of which was an exceptionally dry and technical discussion of tidal flows, bottom topology, thalassia testudinum bed erosion, estuarial bioturbation, beach creation via halimeda breakdown mechanics and other specific but exceptionally variable processes...
As part of this class, our esteemed professor treated us to many digressions into quantum mechanics...
I always thought he was a frustrated particle physicist. In retrospect I doubt it...
He enjoyed the Marine part of "Marine Science" more then the nuts and bolts of the physics.

Part of those discussions of motion dynamics and other notions of predicting tidal flows and topology changes were digressions into the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principal and an extrapolation of the Klein-Gordon equations as exponential variations on any predictions that scientist try to make.
Basically, it is almost impossible to predict any natural phenomenon with any degree of accuracy.
I mean, you can predict the basics, but any more than vague assurances are the realm of side-show crystal ball gazers and tarot card flippers.

Which is why, when I read screaming headlines:
"Gulf oil spill likely to reach Florida Keys, Miami, report says", especially in a rag like the LA Times, - calculated to grab readers, it starts me to thinkin' that soi-disant experts are getting more and more like yellow-dog journalists every day.
Especially when they are so vague in the text of the articles regarding the details...

...which scientists now predict is likely to reach the Florida Keys and Miami in the months ahead.

...Using computer simulations based on 15 years of wind and ocean current data, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration released a report Friday showing a 61% to 80% chance of the oil spill reaching within 20 miles of the coasts of the Florida Keys, Fort Lauderdale and Miami, mostly likely in the form of weathered tar balls

(So... There is a variable chance? And it will get near the coast, maybe... And not "spill" oil but tarballs.
This is Government-Scientist-ese for "Covering my ass")

This was interesting:
But the chances of oil reaching east-central Florida and the Eastern Seaboard are less than 1% to 20%, NOAA said. And it is "increasingly unlikely" that areas above North Carolina will be hit.

They ought to be screaming "All of East Coast is in danger of oil-covered beaches" by the same logic they used as the premise of the article.

And I have news for you, if tarballs hit the beach in the Keys and in Dade county, they will be all up and down the east coast... After all, if one tarball can make it, others will, and any more than zero oil on the beach is "oil from the gulf" on the beach, regardless of the amount.

A real knee-slapper from the article:
All skimming boats from Louisiana to the Florida Panhandle had been idle for three days because of dangerously high waves.

Have you seen "Deadliest Catch"? Those poor bastards work in 35' seas... I don't care how bad a storm is in the gulf, or how close you are to it, you don't get 35' seas. And I repeat -they WORK in those conditions...

Nut up and go earn your money- there's oil in that there Gulf...

(And quit calling it an oil spill. It's a fucking LEAK. No one spilled anything.)


Friday, July 02, 2010

News, if you can call it that...

If you watch any broadcast news show, CNN or MSNBC, you'll hear only very sketchy details on Algore (FTMF) and his tribulations...
But I kinda like how this report is done...

Hell, even without the soundtrack, you'll still learn more about what happened than you will on any US news outlet...

H/T to Capt. Jake at Pirates!

Thursday, July 01, 2010

World Cup Reflections - US /Ghana

Man, I love TFLN...
Ok Ghana you win again.
Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?


Forward Observers