Monday, May 31, 2010

Pork and Shilling

I did a little cooking this weekend...
We had the TWWKMTs brother and sister-in-law in from Greenville SC in for the holiday.
They came down  for a little R&R- beach time and hanging out at the Estrogen Palace.

During the week I came across a recipe at Homesick Texan for a new dry rub for pulled pork...

(Photo - Lisa at Homesick Texan)
(Homesick Texan is a blog I read with great delight...
Lisa's writing brings a special authenticity to her  recipe posts... If you have any affection for Texas cuisine, you should keep HST on your blogroll or RSS feed.)
She has a recipe for a Coffee-Chipotle rub that sounded great, so I picked up 2 pork shoulders at Costco and whipped together the rub and let one of the shoulders steep in it overnight.

I threw it into the oven at 250 at 8:30 Saturday morning... it hit 190 degrees at 5:30 that prevening...
I gave it 40 minutes to rest, then shredded it up with 2 forks. It just fell apart.
It was awesome... We fell upon it with the gusto of hound dogs. Not a shred leftover for the Perfect Child.
She chose to spend the evening with The Boyfriend... Her loss. (Or maybe not. Time will tell.)
Fortunately for her, I have a second shoulder absorbing the rub as we speak... I'll throw it in the oven on Tuesday morning- it'll be done about the time I get home from work and hopefully the PC will deign to grace us with her presence and get to enjoy some java-pepper-pork this time...

TWWKMT is cooking ribs this afternoon- she asked for a little help in preparing the slabs before seasoning and cooking... She wanted to trim them and cut them into 2 or 3 rib sections.

A few months back I got hit up by Bingles - (Jingles boy) about a Cutco dog-and-pony show.
Cutco employs young people to sell knives to friends and family- they teach them to sell, how to properly demonstrate the features for the knives, etc...
I really didn't have the need for yet another blade... I have several reallyreallyreally nice blades I have picked up over the years including a yanagi ba sushi knife and a santoku I got in Tsukiji several years ago...

(I didn't take out a second mortgage on the house to get them, but TWWKMT was very displeased when she saw how much I spent on two toadstickers.) They pretty much fill all my needs.  But- back to the story...
Never let it be said that I don't do my part to help the Youth of Today.
We got a 4.5" trimmer and another santoku... When we got them, I checked them out- they were pretty nice. But since I now have 3 santokus (my good one, my daily use one and now the Cutco) we put these knives away.
Which brings us to today- My everyday use santoku is in my portable cooking kit, which is buried away with my camping stuff. My Japanese one is in The Vault and a pain in the ass to get to on a whim.
So, to trim up the ribs I grabbed the Cutco blade and went to town.



Wow.

I hadn't really put the Cutco through it's paces, but in trimming the slabs of ribs and rendering them into 2 or 3 rib chunks, the Cutco really did a great job... It sliced through the rib cartilage like butter...
It cost almost as much as my Japanese blade and is almost as good, and doesn't take a 15 hour plane ride to pick one up...

If anyone tries to set you up for a Cutco demo,  take a listen... the blades are really pretty good.

And the coffee-chipotle pork rub?

It's a winner.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Reveille / Rivalry

For Memorial Day...



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
(with huge thanks to Captain Jake at Pirates! Man your Women!)

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed

I got an e-mail from the president of the range where I shoot...



"Today someone dumped 1000 plus roofing nails on the road inside the main gate. Please be watchful when you go to the range."

Some details/thoughts regarding this misadventure...

1. Someone vandalizes the road that leads to the shooting range that is owned/operated by Fraternal Order of Police.

2. The range is located virtually inside a gated community that, as a rule, hates guns and really fucking hates the fact there is a private gun range operating within 100yds of their homes.

3. 1000 roofing nails? Like a whole bucket recently purchased at the Home Depot that's less than a quarter mile away?

4. Jax Beach and Marsh Landing is a relatively small gene pool...
Guess how long it's going to take for one of the members (all cops or ex-cops with nothing better to do than deal with asshats that vandalize their club) to visit yon Home Depot and ask a few pertinent questions about recent purchases.

Dear Residents of Marsh Landing/The Palms Condominimums...
We try to be good neighbors; We don't start shooting before 9 AM and don't shoot any later then an hour before sunset.
That's pretty reasonable, eh?
Still don't like it? Sorry.
SSSA has been here longer than you have.
Deal with it, or GTFO.

TYFY-
The SSSA

Vandalism (against a police organization) is not a way to voice displeasure.
Well... it's not a wise way to express your feelings.

Things are fixin' to go poorly for someone.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

University Fundraising Response... Winner!

From Best of Craigslist
File under "Letters to People Unlikely to Respond"

Dear University Alumni Office,

I'm sorry to hear that the university's $750 million endowment has fallen in value to $500 million because of the recession and because your bank died. I'm also sorry to hear that you're dealing with declining enrollment due to the fact that middle-class families are no longer willing or able to bet their homes on a $45,000-a-year higher education for their children. I really am.

So, what I want to know is, why are you wasting money on glossy fundraising brochures full of meaningless synonyms for the word "Excellence"? And, why are you sending them to ME? Yes, I know that I got a master's degree at your fine institution, but that master's degree hasn't done jack shit for me since I got it! I have been unemployed for the past TWO YEARS and I am now a professional resume-submitter, sending out dozens of resumes a month to employers, and the degree I received in your hallowed halls is at the TOP OF IT and it doesn't do a fucking thing.

You know, maybe if you wanted a little bit of money from me (and these days you'd get about $3) maybe you should send me a fancy color brochure admitting your role in the bubble economics that got us all in to this mess.

For example, since 1987, higher education expenses have gone up 450 percent, while personal income in this country has gone up 87 percent, making tuition IMPOSSIBLE to afford without special financing. But, during this time, you were thriving because people could come up with the cash in two ways:

1. Get a home equity loan and use the inflated value of their house to pay for their kid to get drunk and/or raped at your school and then lose the house when the market crashed.
2. Get a federal loan.

HAD IT OCCURRED TO YOU THAT NEITHER OF THESE SOURCES OF MONEY ACTUALLY EXIST? THAT IT WAS BEING MANUFACTURED BECAUSE YOU MADE PEOPLE THINK THAT ONE OF YOUR DEGREES WAS NECESSARY TO CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE BUBBLE?

Oh yes, federal loans. I've got $40,000 of those, which are in "forebearance" right now because I'm unemployed, meaning that the feds are paying the interest for a while, which is convenient for me, but not for our government which is now owned by China. You know, the idea behind federal loans was that it would allow more students to attend your university, not let you INFLATE your tuition to obscene levels! I mean, what the fuck were you spending the $16,000 per semester on, anyway? I was in a public policy program, so that meant we got to sit in classrooms and listen to Professor God up at the front of the lecture hall glorify Himself and Creation as He saw it and talk about how much smarter he was than anyone else and how much he'd learned at MIT and the RAND Corporation.

Really, that's about all you did for us -- gave us a lecture hall, gave us an arrogant bastard to listen to, and gave us a room full of computers we could use sometimes, and you gave us a degree that employers look at and say "This guy knows how to write reports. Amusing." And I will be paying for this privilege until I am 51 years old.

So I'm sorry that the economy's been rough on you. Maybe, if you wanted to save a little money, you could stop printing and sending brochures to my parents' house (oh yeah, that's where I live because I can't afford rent on ANYTHING). And, maybe I'll donate a little bit of money to you in 2030, when I get the loans for your imaginary education PAID OFF!

Sincerely yours,
Alumnus


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Always in Threes

First it was Art Linkletter, then Gary Coleman.

But today's celebrity death was much more depressing...
Dennis Hopper.
Over 200 movie and TV credits on his resume, many that I would consider favorites...
Some of my favorite roles he played were the doped-up photographer in Apocalypse Now,  the mad bomber in Speed, the redemption case in Hoosiers, and the one-eyed whack-job in Waterworld
(I always felt sorry for that poor bastard that lived on the raft down inside the oil tank on the Valdez... But I digress...)...and of course Easy Rider.
Looking back over his credits on IMDB it's amazing how many different roles he's played...
Lots of old TV shows- everything from Bonanza to Twilight Zone, old westerns in the 50's and 60's, and in recent history he's done tons of voice roles in animated features and video games...
Talented actor, and (mostly) Republican- the recent WTF moment was a puzzler to me:
He voted for Urkel because he didn't like Palin as McCain's choice as running mate.




Dennis Lee Hopper
1936 - 2010
Requiescat in Pace


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Too Soon

I love Texts From Last Night...

(847): Whoa, Gary Coleman died
(224): Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
(847): Too soon.

Wow.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Southern Security

Wanna know why there were no looters in Nashville after the recent floods?

Because our Community Organizers know what the hell they are doing.

Think you could get away with this in Chicago, New York or San Francisco?


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, May 27, 2010

So, Boston Guy, Tell us how you really feel.

This dude's got some issues with Global Warmening...
Had I not already met the illustrious Borepatch and the keeps-'em-in-the-ten-ring Mrs Borepatch back in January, I might have fallen into the belief that this little bit of (very NSFW) video was The Man (The Patch?) Hisself, given his self proclaimed status as the Premiere Denier of All Anthropomorphic Climate Change.

Really... Language warning- turn your sound down or risk disturbing your cube-mates, significant others, pets, co-workers, or others who can't stand harsh fucking language.

video

(And a big tip of the hat to Jingles for the video. I nearly peed myself laughing.)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Monday, May 24, 2010

Unclear on the Concept #360 - T-Rav

T-Rav insists on poking the bear on a regular basis.

I'm not sure T-Rav has a firm grasp on the difference between weblogs and journalism.

Let me give you a hint: OPINION

It's the same reason that I don't go off the deep end about the fecal drivel that drips out the pieholes of idjits like Olberman, Beck, Maddow, O'Reilly, Limbaugh, Hannity and Anderson Cooper.
They have opinions; they get paid to sit in front of a camera (or microphone) and talk about what they think.
As a rule, they are all full of shit because they all have one agenda:
To drive up their audience.
Not to inform, not to tell the complete truth, not to impart unbiased knowledge.
Because, you know, audience=money.

Now- the difference between them (talking heads) and us (bloggers), is that the bigger the audience, the more they get paid. Since I don't use Google Ads or some other revenue generator for Listen2unclejay.com, no matter the size of the audience, I still make $0 from this little nightmare.

Starting to get the picture, Trav?

Now, to your comment...

I love the fact that in the three posts you've done about the oil spill, all three have pointed to the fault of the liberal media. Funny that you are not up in arms about the millions of gallons of oil that continue to be pumped into the gulf. (6M to 126M gallons estimated - I sure as hell hope it the 6M) Who is to blame for that? The media? Environmentalist or not, this IS a big deal!

Yeah, I know. Oil spills suck,
But guess what? I don't feel like writing about that.
EVERYONE is writing about the friggin' oil spill.
Go read about it elsewhere.
I'm not claiming to be a journalist, I just write about shit I want to write about.
Read that line up under the title of the blog...
Then go over to the disclaimer on the left side of the page and read that.

It basically says "If you don't like what you read here, fuck off and die."

T-Rav does seem to have his knickers in a twist about BP and the oil spill.
He continues:
It doesn't really matter when or where the oil washes ashore, the damage from this will last for decades. Good thing that BP negotiated a $75 million cap on damages - which they've since agreed to waive for some positive publicity.
T-Rav:
Until you are shed of all the trappings of a petroleum-based society, it would be best if you didn't bite the hand that feeds, clothes, and lets you travel to your job, cooks your food and heats your house.
Get rid of all your plastics, polyesters; Dump your cars and start walking, shun air travel, and generally hie your hippy ass back to the 1800s. Then you can bitch. But until then, bitching about what a horrible global citizen BP is labels you as a hypocritical poser and ignorant of your complicity in BP's crimes...
(and don't fool yourself- "converting to solar" still uses huge amounts of petroleum products, and is still so inefficient that to run a modest household would take a PV array an acre in size. Even then, the impact of the system on the environment (panel manufacturing, operational hardware, and a huge bank of lead-acid batteries) and the overall upkeep is damned demanding.)
Until you completely make the jump, I would suggest you Shut The Fuck Up regarding oil companies.



T-Rav's entitled to his opinion. In reality he ought to be expressing it on HIS website Sports and Swarms, but instead comes over to my little slice of the Intarw3bz to mouth off... (I have no problem with this, as it gives me an opportunity to bitchslap an ignorant misguided socialist moron try to bring enlightenment to a left-wing tool.)

Hugs and kisses T-Rav...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

At the Sign of Good Eats



I was fireballin' back across Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida on Friday...
I left Lafayette at 5:30 (CST), picked up a 40 pound bag of crawdads in Kenner at Sal's, (Sal's Riverside Seafood -(504) 468-3623- 1100 24th Street Suite Q, Kenner, LA 70062) and planned on being in the Pensacola area by lunchtime...

I tried to get in touch with the Dixie Carpetbagger to see if he wanted to do lunch- talk about shootin' irons, politics, bloggers and blogging, a micro-blogmeet as it were.
Alas- he was not in the area on Friday but suggested a few places that I might find a tasty morsel for lunch...
"Red Bay Grocery is in Ponce De Leon south of I-10. Awesome food (the only bad thing I've hit so far was their smoked turkey), but it is-- literally-- a hole in the wall... one room, three tables. They're also a grocery/liquor store, with a pretty good selection of beers."

Well...

When he said "south" he wasn't kidding...
It was 9 miles south of I-10.
But, I figured anything this far off the interstate had to have something going for it...

The first hint that lunch would be interesting was the sign out front...


Unfortunately, (or perhaps fortunately) the dancing girls were on break or were off on Friday... No worries though. It said "lunch" and "BBQ", that was enough for me.
I opted for the pulled pork plate (pork, 2 sides and Texas toast).
The folks were right friendly and the BBQ was quite tasty...

The shelves inside the grocery were lined with locally produced vegetables and preserves... I really wanted to pick up a jar of the sweet pickles, the 5-pepper jelly and some of the fruit preserves. I couldn't make up my mind, so I deferred until my next visit. (And there WILL be an next visit...)



If you're in the area, stop by Red Bay Grocery- check their website for their shrimp specials (although those probably won't last long) and their all-you-can-eat rib specials.

Thanks for the ref, Dixie-

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, May 21, 2010

Signs of the Apocalypse - #10



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Make Up Your Friggin' Minds.

USA Today headline:
"Hurricane season may makespill worse."
...and the sub-header:
"But storms could also help clean up the oil."

Ahhh. Modern media...telling everyone exactly what they want to hear.
...
The most puzzling quote in the article:
"None of the scenarios are good for the ecosystem. We've never dealt with anything like this before."
-Jim Edison, UConn Marine Meteorologist.
Sorry Jim, the article describes 2 previous events using this exact scenario...

Of course, this article points up the same issues I always get worked up over...Hurricane forecasting and crap job performance of Weather Forecasters.
(I wish I could be wrong more thn 50% of the time and still keep my job. Weather forecasting is definitely a case of style over substance.)
...
For the record, they are citing "similar conditions to 2004, 2005 & 2008 when multiple storms battered the USA." and are calling for 15 storms, and 8 of them will be of hurricane strength.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Public Service Announcement - CPR

Everyone should learn CPR...

Here's a start.



You can thank me now....

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
H/T to Jingalls for this one... and kudos to Dixie who beat me to the post...

An Inconvenient Tar Ball

(From our "The Sky is Falling" Department)

I loves it when the media speaks out of both sides of their mouth...

But first... to the 8 or so people that called, emailed, stopped by my office and commented on my 'bolg...
The lab (CSI Key West?) confirmed "It ain't from Deepwater Horizon". Thanks KK, DoubleTrouble, SL, Ag, Anon & everyone else...

So, at least my conspiracy theory wasn't grounded in fact...and since it wasn't from the BP/Deepwater rig, it should be a non-event in the news as of today's "They ain't from Deepwater Horizon" declaration by the USCG.

But...
(and I loves me a good "but" too...heh)
A little good news can't be exploited for a ZOMG headline or a sure-fire must-read story by the media, so...

From the ignorant assholes in New York media, we have an excellent example of self-contradiction:

Leader:
"Lab: Tar balls on Key West beach not from BP Gulf Coast oil spill"
BY Helen Kennedy
(emphasis mine)

In the body of the article in a picture of the HazMat Oilspill Cleanup Crew...however...


"Crews collect sand samples at Fort Zachary Taylor State Park beach in Key West Fla. Tar balls from the BP oil spill have begun washing up on Key West."
(I love their HAZMAT environment suits...)

But wait... in the actual text Ms Kennedy flipflops again...

"The Coast Guard says tar balls that floated ashore in the Florida Keys aren't linked to the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. A report released Wednesday says tests by a Coast Guard laboratory show the tar balls don't match the type of oil from the Deepwater Horizon spill."

Make up your friggin' mind...


But... Unwilling to waste an opportunity for a good headline grabbing quote soon-to-be-ex-senator-if-I-have-anything-to-say-about-it Bill "FTMF" Nelson belched out the following alarmist line:
"While I always hope for the best, this is looking like really out-of-control bad."
Thanks Bill... Keep doom shouting... Your day is coming.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Seems a Little Too Convenient...

 20 tar balls wash up on the beach at Ft. Zach Taylor...

Story here

None reported in Sanibel or Tampa/St. Pete... But 20 make it to a National Park beach in Key West?
And none are at Smathers Beach?



Pardon my skepticism...
I'm waaaay too prone to seeing people trying to exploit a crisis to take this at face value.

Are you sure they didn't come from the bilge one of the 20 or so cruise ships that dock in KW every week?
Or perhaps one of the USCG Cutters docked around the corner?


When I was a kid living up in Marathon we always had tar on our feet after going to Cocoa Plum Beach with the dogs... And there were no Gulf oil spills of any magnitude '72-'80.
All those tar balls came from tankers pumping their bilges as they ran up and down the coast...

I know... They are testing the tar balls...

<conspiracytheory>Or... Perhaps some eco-commando picking up a bucket of tar blobs off the beach in Louisiana or Texas and driving them to Key West in order to further the Green Agenda? </conspiracytheory>

Unpossible. That would never happen...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
Nun None



As in, "We're putting up with none of your foolishness."

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Monday, May 17, 2010

Signs of the Apocalypse - #8



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

More Helpful Advice



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

You Can Lead a Horse to Water...

...but you can't make him drink.


...but if you can get him to float on his back, then you've got something!

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Helpful Advice

22 year-old actress-model Muffin Dubois says:
"Sunbathing gives your skin a healthy glow."



Right.

Listen to your Uncle Jay... Use sunscreen.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

One Squirt or Two?


Bacon Latte?
Bacon Milkshake?
Bacon Frappicino?
Whiskey Bacon Sour?
Marga-bacon-rita?

The possibilities!
They boggle the senses...


Torani Bacon Syrup...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, May 14, 2010

Playing Possum


Yay! Possums!

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hanover Fist

"...Unless you count all the times he sold dope dressed as a nun..."

A favorite from way back...




TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

A Remake I Would Pay to See...


Velma with a shotty and an Arkansas Toothpick?
Hell, let Fred and Daphne go check out the basement.
I'll hang with the Smart Chick.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Stats & Rant at 33,000 Feet

Heading back to Jax this AM.
DFW to JAX, and here's a novelty: the Perfect Child is coming out to the airport to pick me up for my ride back to the office to get The Toaster. Man, time flies.

I'll be coming back to Dallas to pick up the repaired equipment next week and driving it back home.
Just for the record:
Monday gas mileage: 14.72 mpg (at 77 mph)
Tuesday mileage: 15.41 mpg (at 69 mph avg)
Not too shabby for a non-aerodynamic cargo van full of aluminum truss.
Consumption:
Crab claws (one appetizer-size order)
Crawfish (Something on the order of 10 lbs)
Cracklins (About a pound. My arteries hate me.)
Boudin (one link, spicy pork.)
Tea (several tall glasses)
Water (4+ liters- my on-the-road beverage of choice)
Conspicuous absence: No Captain.
Wow...Stop the presses, eh?

Now then, a little rant.
DFW & American Airlines:
$25 for the first bag? You're killling me.

And of course I had the pleasure of jousting with the TSA.
I keep all my "stuff" in my backpack compartmentalized- I have 5 or 6 small zipper bags- all my audio cables (headphones, patches, cell headset, camera A/V etc) in one, flashkeys and media cards in another; meds like antacids, bandaids, aspirin, allergy tabs, etc in another.
One has misc TSA-approved tools like small screwdrivers, small needlenose pliers, and the like, and another has pens, Sharpies and other stick-like implements.
Gung-Ho TSA Guy decides he has to open each compartment and bag in my backpack...
He has to look at *every* pen in the writing stick bag... He examines (and measures) each tool.
He looks at everything in the medicine bag and I guess the mostly-empty tube of Neosporin offended him.
GHTSAG: "Sir, this is considered a 'gel' and should be in a separate clear plastic one-quart bag."
I give him my best "You're killing me, Barney" look.
I took the oh-so-dangerous .015 ounce tube and shot it into the nearby trashcan.
Gung-Ho looked like he wanted to say something but wisely decided against it...
Over 5 minutes later (which is an eon in TSA time) and something like 20 people had passed me by he slowly re-packed my bag Apparently he was satisfied I had nothing else that was prohibited and that the Flying Public was safe from me, so he sent me on my way...
As I was digging out my iPod out of another pocket I found a stray .40 cal round
Jeebus on a bright red pogo stick!
(I would rhetorically say 'how'd that happen?' but I know how it happened.)
I was going to pitch it, but if it got found in a trashcan on the concourse they'd probably shut down the entire airport.
In this case a little discretion will save me an encounter with the famous DFW barbed-wire enema. I don't know how Gung-Ho missed it, but I'm not going to question providence.

The flight I'm on has in-flight WiFi...that I'm not using... $12.95 to catch up on my RSS feed, do a blog post or two, or update my Facebook status with "Woo hoo! Facebookin' at 30k feet!!!1!" when I can do my posts off-line on my DouchePro and just hit "send" on touchdown in Jax.
I'll save the money and use it on a long-overdue double of Captain & Coke when I get out to the Beach this afternoon.

20 minutes to touchdown. Just enough time for the USA Today crossword.
What's a 7-letter word for "TSA employee"?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE


Letters to People Unlikely to Respond - Part 243

To the girl in Costco who sneered at me as I was evaluating the pork shoulders...

Since you probably won't listen to an argument, I'll use a visual aid:




Thank you and screw you.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
h/t to SL for the pic. Thx dude!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Stuffed.

Five re-orders...
267 crawfish.
4 big glasses of tea.
Taters & corn.

Oh. My. Gawd.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tasty Morsels in Rockwall

They weren't able to take the "all you can eat" sign down quickly enough...
This was tray #4
Mmmmmmudbugs!
TBG

Warning!



I kinda like this warning sign for the Humble Abode...
(Of course The Boz is not of appropriate gender for this. I guess  I have to find her a strap-on.)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

2-lane blacktop in East Texas...

Should I be listening for banjo music?

TBG

The Road To Hell

...is not paved with good intentions.
It's paved with cracklins.



Crispy, spicy, porky, deep-fried FAT.

Oh sooooo good.

And I think they're called "cracklins" 'cause they're made of crack.

I can feel my arteries hardening by the second.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Trouble Brewing - Part 6


Perforated Gaijin in 3...2...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

North!

Sulfur Springs by Lunchtime!
Woo hoo!

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Hey Dumbass

...Yeah, you, the mouthbreather at gasso in Louisiana expounding to his slack-jawed drooling toady on why he got his edgy unique Chinese character tat.

Want to be unique? Want to be a trendsetter?
Don't get a stupid tattoo.

Besides:



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Monday, May 10, 2010

Nirvana.


Mmmmmm. Batter-dipped crab claws.
Crunchy little nuggets of crabby bliss...

Lunch!

Staring at oysters while waiting for my claws...
The suspense is killing me.
TBG

Highway Hypnosis


Westbound

Lunch in Mobile, dinner in Breaux Bridge.

More later.
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Michael Bloomberg, CBS and MSNBC are Asshats & Morons.

Asshattery from Mayor Bloomberg and CBS News regarding the Times Square Smoke Bomb


"If I had to guess, twenty five cents, this would be exactly that," Bloomberg said. "Homegrown maybe a mentally deranged person or someone with a political agenda that doesn't like the health care bill or something. It could be anything."


Let me get this right...
Dissatisfaction with Administration = Domestic Terrorist

All the Mainstream Lamestream Media was abuzz on Monday about the search for "a white man in his 40's"...
Obviously a Tea Party representative...

And guess what...

(photo AP/Orkut.com)
Surprise! Faisal Shahzad! Not a Tea Party member! In his 30s! They did get the gender right, so they are running about 33% accurate...
Good enough for a TV Weatherman, but I would think the Department of Homeland Security ought to have stricter standards when they issue a APB/BOLO...

And the fact he's Pakistani/Muslim, well, that's just killing MSNBC Talking Heads.


See you next Tuesday, Contessa.

Oh yeah, we're racists too.

So... I guess I should I be listening for the NSA clickety-clicking on my phone lines and the black helicopters hovering over Jax Beach because I think Health Care Reform should have been done a little differently?

If someone sees me getting beaten up by the Obamanoid Civil Patrol, will you put down the friggin' video camera and come help me? Please?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

A New Venue For Robb?

I see Robb "No Pants" Allen from Sharp as a Marble has started posting his updates on TFLN instead of Twitter...


Of course, if you read enough of them, you might find almost anyone's deepest, darkest desire mentioned there...



No, it wasn't me.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Monday, May 03, 2010

'Tis The Season

...to start enjoying some Jimmy Buffett music.*
The Lemon Bar is open, school is almost out, and everyone is preparing for our Summer Swing-
The kids are all off to their various and sundry summer events- French Open, NBA Finals, Stanley Cup Final, Wimbledon, Evian etc...
 

As we all head to our venues and events, it's good to take a little of why we live in Florida along with us...

This is one that helped me keep my sanity during the Winter Olympics,
during the long trips between Vancouver and Whistler...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE


*Actually, there is never an off-season for Buffett...

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Want. Wantwantwant!



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Unclear On The Concept: Camoflage

Got home from Rob's little soirée at 1:30 AM... 

I found a Ford Explorer covered in tree branches* parked at the curb in front of the house. 
Apparently I will need to explain the concept of "camoflage" to the PC's boyfriend... 

Did I mention it was 1:30 AM? 
I guess we'll have to explain a few other concepts to him too..
Something along the lines of "How to drive yourself to the Emergency Room with an icepack on your crotch and your cojones in a cooler on the passenger's seat."

*The tree branches were a prank by some of the Cohorts... 
But... Did I mention it was 1:30 in the morning?


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

A Trip Down Memory Lane

This is just like Vegas, Comdex '94...

Rob: " I'll have a Corona, and my big friend here will have a water glass full of your worst tequila."
TBG: "Hrghblrghlrg!"