Sunday, March 21, 2010

Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

Dear Congressperson

Feeling a sense of relief?
Think the pressure is off and you can head home for the Easter break and relax?

Think again.

If you voted for Health Care Reform Obama's Steaming Hunk Of Shit, your political career is over.

Keep spending money we don't have between now and the November elections...
I'll be stockpiling a large supply tar and feathers.

You people have lost your minds.


Fuck all of you.
Fuck you with ten feet of shit-smeared wrought-iron fencing.


Not With a Bang, But a Whimper...

(The bangs will come later.)

No one disputes that some changes needed to be made to the health care industry...
But having Big Brother take it over and run it into the ground is not the solution to the problem.

So here we go...Down the slippery slope.

Government control, regulation and administration is not the solution to every issue.
Unfortunately- the only tool in the Democrat's toolbox is a hammer, and they think everything is a nail.

Our government used to be OF The People and FOR The People...
Obviously they have now turned a deaf ear to The People and and transformed it to a government OVER the people.
The Democrats/Progressives are passing legislation that is good for them and their buddies and their campaign contributors, and ignoring the voice of The People.

If the Town Hall meetings last year weren't enough of an indication, if the message sent by the election of Scott Brown early this year wasn't a clear enough message to scrap this Piece of Shit bill, if the fact that the House and Senate switchboards were clogged by HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of calls to the Assholes in office this past week hasn't shown them the light, then obviously nothing will.
The legislation couldn't stand on it's own... They needed a SuperMajority to pass it- and even then it didn't work. And instead of scrapping the bill that an overwhelming majority of people didn't want and starting over with both parties having input- maybe less government control, maybe some tort reform? No, they absolutely HAD to get it done before the congresscritters head home for spring break...
(Because you know what's going to happen when they get home... The defecation will be impacting the ventilation. You thought the Tea Party crowd was vocal before? Just wait.)

When it became inevitable that normal methods weren't going to work, they started to drag out the arcane legislative Dark Arts like Reconciliation and then the Slaughter maneuver...They just bullied, intimidated and bribed the round-heeled weasels and moved on.
With mountains of pork, favors, entitlements and stinky deals, there is a monstrous shit sandwich coming right at us and, as Lt. Lockhart said in Full Metal Jacket, we'll all have to take a big bite. And another and another.

No one wants to stand between The Lightworker and his need for self-aggrandizement.

Legislation being driven by the Narcissistic Traitors, Scoundrel, Liars, Cheats, and Crooks, so they will be know by their legacy...
(Which they will... We will know them. We will remember them.)

March 21st will be remembered... Not unlike December 7th, September 11th, and the Fifth of November...

So, now, what will they cram down our throats next?

Immigration reform? Check.
And you can bet it will be invasive and abusive and geared to bring as much glory to His Oneness' legacy as is possible.

Can & Trade
Crap and Tax? You bet.
Like a dog returning to its vomit.

Maybe some Education Reform?
Let's let The Fed take over the funding and then content, curriculum, and enforcement. THAT's a good idea, huh?

And, since we can now pass legislation on anything without approval from The People, does anyone think some new Gun Control laws might be dancing in the Progressives dreams? You betcha.

So remember the date, Children...
March 21st.

As we rush headlong toward Civil War in America (The Sequel)
remember this little ditty from Jennifer...

Remember, Remember
Health Care in November
Vote Buying, Treason, and Plot
I know of no reason the Slaughter House Treason
Should ever be forgot


Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Kucinich= See Weasel, Asshole

"I have doubts about this bill," Kucinich said at a news conference he called to announce his decision to vote yes, adding: "This is not the bill I wanted to support."

"However, after careful discussions with President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, my wife Elisabeth and close friends I have decided to cast a vote in favor of the legislation," he announced.

"If my vote is to be counted, let it count now."

Corrupt motherfucker.
Who'd he listen to?
Obama, Pelosi, his "close friends"...
Did you listen to THEM?
Apparently not.

Give him a ride in AirFarce1 and promise to come campaign for him this fall and he's all yours...

As long as I'm slinging shit, I might as well throw some at his attention whore publicity hound wife...

She gets the Anna Nicole Smith/J Howard Marshall II "It's True Love"
award for bagging the sawed-off little oompa loompa.

Fuck that little motherfucker.
With a 4 foot barbed-wire dildo.


An Oldie But a Goodie

I still like this one...


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Welcome to Georgia

Speed Limit - 0


Monday, March 15, 2010

The Other White Meat

- or -
Lola, we hardly knew ya...

So I'm part of the PRICCS. (No surprise, eh?)
(PRICCS - Pig Roasting In Caja China Society)

Y'all know I love to cook...
This works out well since I also like to eat.
And since I also like to experiment with non-traditional cooking methods
(Deep Fried Turkey, Masters Cordon Bleu, Elemental Chicken, Pulled Cork, Kreeper, etc)
when I started to see articles and stories about this new method for cooking
whole roasted pig, well, I had to see what it would take to procure a La Caja China.

Since the acquisition of a Caja China is a little on the steep side, we formed a little consortium to split the cost and custody of a La Caja China #2.

In theory, if you follow the directions you can't screw it up... and they make it difficult to lose the directions, since they are printed on the box itself.

We got it a couple months back, and while I was up in Vancouver one of the co-conspirators was able to assemble the box and prepare it for use.
In theory he was also going to go out and shoot a wild hog for us to christen The Box, but, alas, that didn't happen.

We have all been itching to try out The Box, but travel schedules had put everything on hold up until now- and this looked like the last weekend the entire Society would be together for a long while, so we ditched the plan for the feral pig and I found a new guest of honor out in Green Cove Springs...
On Friday afternoon Co-Conspirator #2 and Yours Truly spent an hour or so preparing Lola for her date with the Caja China.
CC#2 whipped up an amazing Mojo marinade (heavy on the garlic, citrus and spices) which we massaged into the meat... I would also make reference to injecting the meat with "secret sauce" but no doubt this would be misconstrued by you pervs.
We left her in the cooler overnight, immersed in Liquid Love (tm).

Saturday Lola made her appearance at the home of Co-Conspirator #1,
a/k/a The Scene of The Crime.

The PRICCS Roasting Box...

Ready for action.

Caja China #2
50lbs Charcoal
Welders Gloves
Ash-Management Tools (Bucket & Shovel)
Mojo-Marinated Piglet

Off we go...

Co-Conspirator #2 extracting Lola from the cooler.

Why Lola?

Don't ask me. We knew we needed to name her; I was all for Petunia, but Bingalls (CC#1'S son) came up with it...

Putting Lola to the rack...

Once the victim Guest of Honor is on the rack, she gets one last hit of citrus & spices, and into the cooking chamber she goes...

Ready to put the lid on and apply the heat.

16lbs of charcoal on the lid...

...and Jingalls starts the fire.

As soon as the coals are ready...

...we spread out the coals in a uniform layer across the top and start the countdown.

An hour later, 10 more pounds of charcoal.

An hour after that, 10 more pounds, then 30 minutes later another 12 lbs.

This is the hardest part...
Once you start the coals, the instructions are very explicit about NOT opening the box... From several accounts I have read on the Intarw3bz, people have ruined their shindigs by playing peek-a-boo with the pig... I was able to suppress the urge, but it took Herculean strength of will and a good 12 ounces of rum...

So at 3 hours 30 minutes it's time to turn the swine.

CC#2 & CC#1 flip Lola into position for the next phase...

Once flipped, you have to score the skin; Here are the guys cutting X's into the skin. Once done, another 30 minutes of cook time then checking the skin for crispness every 10 or 15 minutes.

End results...

She could have used another 30 minutes, but we had a Ravenous Horde on hand, so it was time to start throwing meat at them before things got too ugly...

We gave her 15 minutes to cool down then started to serve the meat...

Photo-documentation ended abruptly at this point, since my hands were too greasy to handle the camera any more...

The meat was a-f%$@#&ing-mazing- the marinade made it a tart savory Lechon Asado, served up with baked beans, ceviche, a couple different kinds of slaw, and buns for sandwich fixins.

The Verdict- Awesome. On Steroids.

Next up: Turkey? Chickens? Ribs?


Current Events - Last Week.

It was a relatively easy week, especially in comparison with the previous six weeks that I spent in Van-coover...
Got home Friday, chilled out on the weekend and caught up with latest gossip and news with The Woman Who Knows Most Things and The Perfect Child.

Back in the office on Monday to start dealing with post-Olympic stuff, equipment repatriation, missed emails, expense reports (still undone- but I'm trying...Really!)
Tuesday I was in Augusta at A Nice Golf Course do do some prep work and made it back for Shrimp Wednesday at Gene's.
That was the highlight of the work week, as Jingalls and I invited T-Rav to Lunch, he felt it was necessary to bring along the pussies his posse of ne'er-do-well commie-liberal-pinko cohorts... Glyn, Chris and a couple other weasels. I think T-Rav was concerned for his safety.
Dude, had we planned your demise, your little skirt-wearing co-liberals wouldn't have made a difference.
T-Rav was running in the River Run this weekend, so we couldn't abuse him too much.

Friday found me running some other errands, including a trip to Green Cove Springs to pick up an under-aged female named Lola for rather nefarious purposes.

She had a rather central role in our plans for the weekend...


I know... I know...

I've been lax.
I have a buncha stuff to post- bear with me.

Meanwhile, a video for you:

Obama at the Bat



Wednesday, March 03, 2010

I's are Crossed, T's are Dotted... paperwork done, bags packed, and customs have been cleared.
Sitting at YVR with a (double) Bloody Caesar...
11 hours to Jax Beach.


Overheard in Moose's Down Under

(Late post...its been sitting in the 'drafts' folder for two weeks. Oops. )

Whilst dining with the famous SpongeMark at an Aussie bar in downtown...
His VB had been empty since the waitwench brought our dinner to the table. He tried the subtle approach, just making eye contact, which the wench blew off since she thought he was just being fresh.
Then he tried the old 'raise the glass' move, which she ignored...

When she finally came back to clear our table she asked if she get could us anything else...
"I'm okay, but my dessicated friend is in need of another VB." I said.
...Which I thought was witty, but forgot that using a 10th grade vocabulary word was probably not a good idea in a noisy bar.
"Did you say he's got TB, or wants VD?" she shouted...

(If she coughs, screw her.)


Monday, March 01, 2010

This Is Going To Be Bad...

...absolutely no good can come of this.

Chocolate-covered Peeps. And dark chocolate-covered peeps.
Jeebus Pete.

Given that peeps are my own personal Kyptonite, this new format will be my downfall.

I am now jonesing for a big cup of coffee with one of these babies slowly dissolving into it...