Monday, August 27, 2007

24 Sentences About TBG...

I got Memed the other day, and I decided to save it for a time when I was not overly encumbered by installing hardware, driving to another city, sleeping or trying to finish an expense report.

So I'm sitting in the Calgary airport... IDS Hot Boy is chatting up two girls (they MIGHT be 16 years old) at the end of the aisle. I've finished "Noble House" and I am hoping there is a movie on this flight since I'm out of reading material.
(They did, "Next" with Nicholas Cage, not too bad.)
It's raining here... The flight is at 1:00. It's 12:30 now and there is no plane at the gate. This has success written all over it.
(We were late, but not enough to miss our connection in Houston)

So... The Meme:

Finish these 24 sentences:

1. I've come to realize that my ex is: Far far away. Fortunately.

2. I am listening to: The hum of a Coke machine and the PA system calling for missing passengers.

3. I talk : Incessantly.

4. I love : Ugrades to Business Class.
(Didn't get one this time. :( )

5. I have : A deep sense of futility.

7. I lost : All will to go on.

8. I hate it when : The Customs agent looks at me and motions me over to the "Rubber Glove"

9. Love is: Sticky. (But only if you do it right.)

10.There were: Times when I enjoyed traveling.

11. Somewhere: There is a roll of gaffer's tape for the mouth of the child that is crying behind me. (With my luck, the little screamer will be sitting next to me on the flight too.)
(She was in the seat in front of me this time. Just my luck.)

12. I'll always be : Irritated with everything and everyone.

13. I need : Rum. And then more rum.

14. The last time I cried was : The night of July 4th. Go back and read the blog. (Feet don't fail me.)

15. My cell phone is : An albatross.

16. When I wake up in the morning : I never know where I am.

17. Before I go to sleep at night : I fill out an in-room breakfast menu and hang it on someone else's door.

18. Right now I am thinking about : Death and Dismemberment of airline flight staff.

19. Babies are : Tasty. If you use enough tarragon. And maybe some cumin.

20. I get on MySpace: for Stalking purposes. I mean..uh, to talk with friends.

21. Today I : Will be miserable on my flight.

22. Tonight I will : Drink heavily.

23. Tomorrow I will : Work work work.

24. I really want : Whirled Peas.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Coming soon!

If you think a Buccaneer is too high a price to pay for corn, please go to another site. I suggest this one.

However, if the term "booty" brings to mind chests of gold doubloons, piles of gems and pearls, and burying dead shipmates to conceal your ill-gotten gains, the listen up.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day be fast approachin', mateys.
You'll be needin' t' learn all th' correct language t' celebrate th' event.
You'll be needin' yer Pirate Name, and mebbe a name fer ye vessel...

Best take the Pirate Personality Quiz, t' find out yer true calling...

Some pirates live for the open sea, others join the Brethren of the Coast for the fine cuisine... (Mmmm. Weevil biscuits and grog for three meals a day!)

My favorite part is working with the crew...

Needin' a little wind in your sails?

On September 19th make sure you have your hatches battened, your sash buckled, and your horn swoggled.
In the mean time, I'll supply you with some additional tools to make International Talk Like A Pirate Day a success.
Stay tuned.

TBG (The Buccaneer Guy) out-

Friday, August 24, 2007

Separated at Birth

Everyone knows that we have Ned Flander's long-lost twin brother at IDS...

You've seen this before, yes?

And many folks know that in the heat of battle (or drinking) I have been known to compare JR from the NHL to Uncle Fester of the Addams Family.

First, an introduction...
Not everyone knows Uncle Fester.

Uncle Fester was the creation of American cartoonist Charles Addams, one of a group of recurring characters that were often featured in The New Yorker magazine, and eventually became the basis of a TV series in 1964 and 2 movies in the early 1990s.

IDS Hot Boy is unable equate JR and Uncle Fester since he's too young to have seen the TV show with John Astin & Carolyn Jones as Gomez & Morticia Addams, and since he doesn't go to movies he hasn't seen the movies with Raul Julia and Anjelica Houston.

So just to refresh everyone's memory...

Let's see if we can get a side by side comparison...

First- Christopher Lloyd as Uncle Fester...

A very dark portrayal of the old villain.

Checking my pictures of JR...

Nope- that one won't work...'s kinda hard to find a picture of JR that is unencumbered by superfluous females...

Hmmm. Another Hooters Girl.

This one won't work either... Too much bull.

Ah! Perfect!

So, you tell me... Separated at birth?

TBG out-

Scientific Study

So... We had a hour or so to kill in Montreal.

I decided to further the cause of science and document the way that women throw themselves at Hot Boy.

I put Hot Boy at a table near the security entrance to the A Concourse at the Montreal Airport to see how the local females would respond.
Let me tell you, friends and didn't take long.

First, the manager of the cafe where we were conducting the study came out
"to clean the table..." (nudge nudge, wink wink)

She stayed to chit chat for a minute, gave Hot Boy her phone number and gave him a peek inside her ninja outfit.


Not too long after, another predator arrived on the scene and struck up a conversation with His Hotness.

This specimen performed a flanking maneuver, coming in from one side to make her attack.
After several moments of inane airport-centric chitchat, she insisted on adding her contact numbers to HotBoy's cell phone, along with a quick tongue kiss before rushing off to make her flight.

Hot Boy took it all in stride, including the invitation from 4 blond flight attendants from Scandinavian Airways to join them in their hotel hot tub.
(I was so shocked I forgot to shoot a picture of them...)

To his credit, he ignored the distractions and we made our flight...

I'll be publishing my scientific paper soon, I guess I better start working on my Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

TBG out-

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

More Pics from the Road.

For Kim, and the crabs on Loggerhead Key...


(IF you don't get this, see "Finding Nemo". Do I need to come scroll your mouse around and click the buttons for you too?)

It's a long way from Denver to Phoenix...

Definitely don't want to miss that left turn that's coming up...

And I know there is a punchline here somewhere...

Sometimes they just write themselves...
In this case... Not so much.

TBG out-

Out of Context, by proxy...

I got a text message in the middle of the night...

" know, like, when you wake up with your panties around your knees..."

Now... I like a good out of context quote.
But the circumstances are what really make it special...

If the conversation was between two secretaries in a bar at happy hour, this conversation is pretty normal.

If it was overheard in the mens room at an interstate truckstop between two long-haul truckers, then it takes on a different flavor.

This particular instance, I believe, was between a NY congressman and an altar boy.
Or 2 ballerinas. I forget which.

TBG, sleep deprived.

Odd Eats


Are you sure you want to eat here?
-Phoenix AZ-

At the corner of 44th and Thomas Rd sits a converted Jack-in-the-Box...

Now called...

That's right. Heart Attack Grill.

Now...Don't get me wrong, I think it's cool to have a gimmick...
In this case, the menu is succinct and to-the-point. They stick with what they know...
They only serve stuff calculated to kill you.

The Menu:

An $8.00 Cheeseburger (complete with 2 kinds of cheese and Queso sauce to boot!
And where else can you get lard-cooked chips? And cigarettes on the menu?

To top it off- Just so's you can get your daily carcinogens,

They really flame-broil the burgers...
And you'll also see another gimmick... Costumes.
The kitchen staff wears surgical scrubs.
The manager wears a doctor's lab coat and stethoscope;

And of course, the waitresses.
...Well... Here you go...

The fair Nadya, with my $8.00 burger.

How was it? you ask...
I liked it.

The burger was good too.

TBG- needing CPR and maybe mouth-to-mouth...

Yo, Pete!

Didn't know you had your own bar in Philly...

I wondered if it was actually Pete's Place, until I saw this sign...

...all doubt was removed.

TBG Out-

SMS Conversation: Luc & TBG

Upon departure from Lunch in lovely downtown Montreal,
Luc gave Hot Boy a tour of the NHL (or if your are Canadian, LNH) offices.
I had to get back to Centre Bell and continue to work...

We suspect that Hot Boy, sad to say, is not the sharpest blade in the pack...
Luc and I both wondered about his ability to follow the breadcrumbs back to the arena from the office.
He is a pop culture desert, never having seen even the basic Guy-Movies...
Caddyshack, Full Metal Jacket, American Pie, and even classics like The Godfather are unknown to him, and any movie quotes or references make a whooshing noise as they fly past him, unnoticed.

What with all the women throwing themselves at him, I am continually amazed at the low standards of women. (All women, and American women especially. I'm not sure, say, a Russian woman would swoon in the presence of the Hot Boy, but it sure happens on this continent.

The following is the transcript of the text messages between Luc & Yours Truly:

Luc: He's on his way back
Luc: I'm going to poll the receptionist (20 something) about his hottie status
The Big Guy: Cool! Thanks for showing him around. And let me know what she says.
Luc: He's ok for an American. lol
The Big Guy: Lol!
The Big Guy: That will take him down a peg or two.
Luc: Cause we all know how butt ugly y'all are!! Lol
The Big Guy: Ouch!
Luc: Present company excepted...
Luc: And his family
The Big Guy: I'm sure! Lol
Luc: Ok so official rating on ryan is he's an 8. She would definitely let him by her a drink. Another good point: he doesn't seem full of himself.
The Big Guy: Wow. Distressing. I thought Canadian girls had better taste.
Luc: Lol
Luc: But her first impression was lower. She had to think about it.
The Big Guy: Still sad. After analyzing, she still couldn't see past the spiked hair and boyish grin to the shallow mind and inferior gene pool. I weep for the women of tomorrow.
Luc: Ah man. Another one here said "where's the hottie??"
Luc: Sad indeed
The Big Guy: Damn. That's just a damn shame.
Luc: Let me know if he made it back alright.
The Big Guy: He's back... 37 minutes. But he said stopped to chat up some poor low-IQ Canadian girl.
Luc: Not about movies that's for sure lol
Luc: Damn shame (shaking head)

We shall draw the curtain of charity upon the scene...

TBG out-

Monday, August 20, 2007

Sights and Signs


Let's see what's on the old hard drive in the
"To be Posted" file...

"We can't afford a lock or a knob for the door to the main Telephone demarc...
We'll just put a sign on the door. That'll keep the riff raff out.

JR thinks he's Mario Batali. Why, you ask?

This is why.

At Ted's Montana Grill in Columbus OH...
Why do they need a big vat of Bacon Fat at the bar?

In Philadelphia...

Forget Geno's and Pat's.
You HAVE to go to Jim's at 4th and South Street.

IDS Hot Boy enjoying a Philly Cheese Steak from Jim's.
Mmmmm. Tasty.

The Score-
JR - 1 Cheesesteak (with American Processed Cheesefood.)
Hector - 1 Cheesesteak (with Whiz)
Hot Boy - 1 Cheesesteak (You guessed it, Whiz)
TBG - 2 Cheesesteaks (Peppers, mushrooms, Provolone)

And afterwards...

Haagen Dazs!

This joint has a bug problem...

In case you wonder where chewing gum comes from... the gum tree!
(Or is this where it goes to die?)

One wonders what the cuisine is in this restaurant.
I wonder, but I really don't want to know.

In Glendale, at the Arena

I looked around to see if I could find the imported water pump room....

On the way from Denver to Phoenix

It was 9:30 at night and it was 102 degrees outside.

More fun stuff to come...

TBG out shooting pics-

Still Alive and Kicking.

I have been running ever since getting back off the Island...
I was in the office on Monday (the 6th) and on the road ever since.

Tuesday in Boston (or Bah-stin, as the locals call it)
Wednesday & Thursday in Philly, Friday was DC,
Saturday was wash day, then off to Denver on Sunday.
We installed equipment at the Pepsi Center on Monday and Tuesday and had a lovely meal at the Rodizio Grill in LoDo, then drove 900 miles to Phoenix on Wednesday.
Thursday and Friday were spent at the Arena in Glendale.
Saturday I spent the day in the pool, and Sunday I was traveling to Montreal.

In Denver we stayed at a Marriott Townplace Suites hotel. Very Nice.
Phoenix had us at the JW Marriott - Camelback Inn. Really, really nice...
(Presumably just down the street from the Cameltoe Inn, probably not so nice- especially the swimming pool.)
The Hotel here in Montreal is the Courtyard downtown.
Since I'm traveling with the IDS Helpdesk Hottie, I need to go shopping for one of those "toddler leashes" in order to keep him from being lured off by women with nefarious purposes in mind...

Oh well...

Lots of pics to post, when I get a chance...

Let me leave you with a goodie or two while I work on getting some more pics up...


Since it's US Open time, our man from Maui, The Skunk, is back in Flushing Meadows and is pissed about it.
Read his on-going rant about the US Hopeless...

The Mighty Skunk

TBG heading out to St. Catherine Street...

Monday, August 06, 2007

All good things must come to an end...

The last day was the most, uh, "interesting" day...
(In a "May you live in interesting times" kinda way, if you know what I mean.
If you don't know what I mean, ask me some time.)

I was able to cram a full day of Loggerhead chores into 4 hours, and along with a "drop-off-and-dash" of Cubans and the ensuing merriment thereof, and the joy of everything I owned getting (finally) rained on... I made it to Garden Key and onto the Yankee Freedom for transport back to (heh) "Civilization".

Yadda yadda yadda, rental car, dinner with Kim & Jeremy, drive drive drive...

All in all- it was a most satisfying month. Even with the injuries, Cubans, lack of rain, shoveling and hot-hot-hot work I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

(Could you hear me, Kim? IN A HEARTBEAT!)

Bob's your uncle, Fanny's your aunt, and here I am, back in Jax and getting ready to head to Boston tomorrow AM.

Time for NHL Install, part the Second.
"Return of the Rack"

Stay tuned, film at 11.

TBG out-

Pretty Pictures from Loggerhead

I got some great shots of the lightning around the island at night...

Looking east

Another night, looking south

and I did some experimenting with night shots of the lighthouse...

Nightshot of the lighthouse

Full moon over Loggerhead

(Really wish I had that telephoto lens now...)