Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Mosquito - Firefly parody

Ok... some people are taking this Firefly thing a little too far.

"Take him! He's the one with the tight pants!!"

Famous, out-

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Research Grants?

Did we really need to spend time and money to research these questions?

And... If so, where can I get some of these funds?

  • A February 1976 article in Nature concluding, among other things, that there is often "scrotal asymmetry" in man and in ancient sculptures.

    Yours Truly: So?

  • A November 1984 article in the Journal of Trauma concluding, among other things, that serious head injuries can occur as the result of falling coconuts.

    YT: Duh.

  • An August 1988 article in the Annals of Emergency Medicine concluding, among other things, that there can be a "[T]ermination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage".

    YT: Oh. My. Ghod.

  • A February 1990 article in the Journal of Periodontology concluding, among other things, that waxed dental floss is preferred to unwaxed dental floss by dental patients by a ratio of nearly two to one.

    YT: 4 out of 5 dentists prefer that you floss, regardless of the floss' wax state.

  • A May-June 1990 article in the Journal of Emergency Medicine concluding, among other things, that "[a] zipper-entrapped penis is a painful predicament that can be made worse by overzealous intervention".

    YT: Duh, redux.
  • A June 1990 article in the British Journal of Dermatology concluding, among other things, that people who think they have foot odour usually do have foot odour and people who do not think they have food odour usually do not have foot odour.

    YT: And if you tell some people they are gullible, they will believe you.

  • An April 1991 article in the International Journal of Neuroscience concluding, among other things, that "[c]ognitive performance ratios can be influenced by forcibly altering the breathing pattern".

    YT: Translation=If you choke the shit out of someone, they won't be able to think.

  • A June 1991 article in the Annals of Emergency Medicine concluding, among other things, that electric shock treatment is not a successful treatment of rattle snake bites.

    YT: It's not useful for treating gallstones, either.

  • An August 1993 article in Genitourinary Medicine concluding, among other things, that gonorrhea can be transmitted through an inflatable doll.

    YT: Yeah, but are the penicillin shots fatal to the doll?

  • An August 1993 article in Military Medicine concluding, among other things, that constipation occurs to U.S. military personnel at the following rates: 7.2 per cent while at home, 10.4 per cent while be transported to the field, and 30.2 per cent while in the field.

    YT: Giving new depth to the term "Scared shitless".

  • A December 1993 article in the Scottish Medical Journal concluding, among other things: "[T]hree cases are presented of porcelain lavatory pans collapsing under body weight, producing wounds which required hospital treatment. Excessive age of the toilets was implicated as a causative factor. As many toilets get older episodes of collapse may become more common, resulting in further injuries."

    YT: In 1993. In Scotland. Why does this not surprise me?

Famous, out-

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Drink Drank Drunk

From AG- (I think she's trying to tell me something.)

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
5. Chimney

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. TacoBell? No, thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
9. Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
10. I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

Amazing, out-

NHL All Star Game

It ended with a whimper, not a bang...


Get a couple of teams from Russia or Finland or Sweden to come over and play as part of the All Star festivities- These guys should be able to get out there and really *play* and not worry about breaking a nail or messing up their makeup like the NHL players did.

Did anyone actually see two opposing players make contact during the game?

Oh well... It was still good to see the event getting some attention, even though the TV coverage has been relegated to Versus (ex-OLN).
There was a good amount of coverage in the Dallas newspaper. The Florida Times Union only carried a short AP wire story, 16 sentences by AP writer Stephen Hawkins.
I guess that's all the folks in North Florida rate since we don't have an NHL team, and there are no players in the league with ties to the area.

As for me- After several late-night libations with the boys and girls, I overslept after not setting my alarm and had to hold my last meeting in the airport instead of at breakfast.
To all the folks in the American Airlines Center in Dallas- Thanks, and I'll see you in a few weeks.
To Mark, Cathy, Kayla, Justin, Trecia, JR, DanO and Anita, it was a slice.
Thanks for your hospitality and the good times.

(Luc- you better make plans to be in Atlanta in 08, or when I get to Montreal you are in for a good ol' down-home Southern Ass-whippin'.)

Onward, through the fog.

Famous, out-

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


The NHL threw a great shindig at Gilley's in downtown Dallas on Tuesday night. Good food- chicken and beef fajitas, bbq brisket, onion rings... Tasty fare.

The Group: JR,Trecia, Yours Truly, Mark, Cathy, Dan & Anita

The place was packed to the eaves- EA Sports and Dodge had tricked the place out nicely- They had a big game room stocked with XBox360s and EA Sports Hockey games, the mechanical bull was working, and of course there was an open bar.

About 11:15 the feature act took the stage... Big and Rich played a dozen songs, joined by Cowboy Troy from Nashville Star for a couple tunes. It was pretty good stuff.

We sat in the back- Mark and Cathy, DanO and Anita, JR, Trecia, Anita's parents, and Yours Truly.
Dan "Cubes" Craig stopped by, as did a host of others.

Cubes & Anita

Lisa, Dan & Trecia

Another throwdown occurred- Trecia was trying to get JR to ride the mechanical bull... She'd ride it if he would. Unfortunately by the time the challenge was agreed to, they had already put the bull out to bed for the night... Oh well.

I'd have paid good money to see this.

The party lasted to almost 1:30 in the morning- we hopped on the shuttle bus back the Hyatt... No more late-night visits with the Dallas PD for me. I'm just an old guy trying to get into heaven, I don't need any more encounters with a Texas Taser.

The big game is tonite.


Famous, recovering-

Math Help


The Blonde.

(This story deserved a separate post. For the record, Justin is Mark and Cathy's son. He is the young man in the pictures sitting next to Trecia in the previous post. He's 17. Sickening, isn't it?)

As we played Asshole, around midnight the front door opened.
An oh-so-cute blonde teenaged girl breezed in, heading for the stairs.
Mark and Cathy were unsuprised. Trecia motioned at the upstairs-
"He's upstairs. I think he's in bed." she called as the blonde waltzed up the stairs.
"I know." said the blonde as she turned the corner and and disappeared upstairs.

JR and Dan sat at the table with their mouths open.

JR turned to Dan.
"Booty call?" he asked. Dan shrugged his shoulders.
"HellifIknow." We looked at the parents.
"Oh, that's Lauren. The blonde Lauren." Cathy said. "She's getting help with her math from Justin."
"'Getting help with her math.' That's what they're calling it these days, eh? I guess I'm not up to speed with these street terms." I said.

JR was still agog. His mouth was still open and he hadn't blinked his eyes yet.
"Dude. Blink. Your eyeballs are going to dry out." Dan nudged him.

Cathy's comment finally registered.
"The *blonde* one? You mean he has more than one Lauren that comes visiting him late at night when he's gone to bed? Wow." JR said.

I took another slug of rum. It was the only comment I felt capable of making.

A 15 minute discussion ensued- specualtion of what was going on upstairs, discussion of late-night visits from nubile females and other unsavory commentary.

About 20 minutes after she arrived she flitted back down the stairs and departed... Justin came down stairs and sat in on the game.
"You guys do know that we could hear every word you said with perfect clarity." he said matter-of-factly.
"Yeah? So? You're the one getting the midnight booty call. Sorry, 'Math Homework'." JR said.

Here we are, 3 days later. Every once in a while, JR's eyes glaze over as he replays the episode in his head. "Getting help with her math. Right." he mutters.
"Do you think that kid has any idea of how lucky he is?" he'll ask, rhetorically.

"Help with math." I'm going to have to look that up in the Urban Dictionary...
I need to brush up on current slang, just so I don't miss out on any subtle verbal cues when Hunter and her friends are chatting in the car.

And not to put too fine a point on it, Hunter better not need any math tutoring.

Famous, out.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Center Ice

Center Ice, just before the Young Stars Game.

Famous, freezing my butt off-

Drinking Games

I flew into Dallas for the NHL All Star Game on Sunday night.
My Crackberry lit up on landing in DFW-

A message from DanO was waiting.

"Hey. We're at a party. Come on over." along with an easy-to-follow set of dircetions.

20 minutes later I was the home of some nice folks, having a big plate of barbecued brisket and watching football...

Our hosts, Mark and Cathy. Awesome people, cool dogs.

DanO and his (much) better half were there, Trecia & her current flame, our host and hostess, the kids, JR, and sundry other folks watched the Pats and the Colts game on the big screen.
(We missed you, Luc... You should have been here!)

Trecia and her boy-toy.

DanO and Anita

Trecia had a thing for Manning, so she was rooting for Indy, and JR is from Boston so he had a vested interest in the game and a wager was thrown down- If Indy won, JR would jump in the pool, and if the Pats pulled it out, Trecia would hit the drink.

Trecia checking the temp. Oooo, it's cold!

Keep in mind it has been %$@*%# freezing here in Dallas, and the pool in the backyard was a bit chilly. There weren't any chunks of ice floating around in the pool, but there could have been.

Needless to say, the Colts pulled it out...much to JR's dismay.

I have to give hime credit though...
He jumped right in, a cannonball even...didn't even give me time to get my lens cap off... He had a bit of a problem getting out, but he did go in, the poor bastard...

After JR's dip, we all sat down to a rousing game of "Asshole"...
A card-based drinking game- full of arcane rules and cryptic terminology.
The object is to get rid of all your cards- laying them down according to some whacked-out numeric order or previous play... If you didn't have a card in your hand that you could play on your turn, you had to drink.

After the first round, the first one to get rid of their cards was deemed the President, the second was Vice President, and so on, down the last poor fool who got the title of Asshole.

Justin and Trecia

Nota Bene: Should you play this game, one would be wise to make beer, or better a light beer, your beverage of choice. Listen to your Uncle Jay- drinking rum when all others are Lite Beer is the path to destruction.

Rookie mistake.

We drank and played cards... Once you attain President status you are permitted to pass laws. Some of the legislation this evening were edicts such as any time a red card was played, JR and DanO had to drink. Also, any time a even card was played it was a social drink. (In the case of a red even card, JR and Dan drank twice. Heh.)

Oh, there was some serious drinking...

JR, thawed out and getting ready to imbibe...

The party broke up around 1:30... DanO and his other half were in the lead vehicle, and I had JR in my car as we headed toward the hotel.

As usual, there was a little drama...

As we drove back down Dallas 121, JR warned me that we might need to pull over so he could get rid of some excess beer.

JR: "So... we might need to pull over. I'm not feeling so good."
YT: "Ok... Just let me know."
JR: "I'm letting you know. Now. Pull over."
I pulled the car over and we were still coming to a halt as JR bailed and started and emergency evacuation of his upper GI tract.
As he finished up, a car pulled over behind us...
Uh oh.
I knew we were in trouble when the spotlight flicked on and illuminated the back of the car.
The Dallas Police Department...
I bit the bullet and got out of the car, reaching for my wallet.
The cop asked me what was going on...
YT:"My buddy here did a little too much celebrating during the game."
Dallas Cop:"Oh? An Indy fan."
YT: "No, not at all. He's from Boston."
DC: "Ah, drowning his sorrows."
YT: "Something like that."
DC: "And you? You're ok?"
YT: "Right as rain. Designated driver."
DC: "OK... Y'all drive carefully."
YT: "Yessir."
I got back to the car and only stumbled once as I was getting in.
Dodged a bullet there...whew.

DanO and Anita had pulled over and were waiting for us down the road...
JR's phone rang.
"Yeah. Had to pull over...Yeah, a cop... No, no problem. The Big Guy went back and kissed his ass and the cop took off... Yeah... See ya."


We made it back to the hotel without further incident...
Astute readers will notice that JR had the good taste NOT to throw up in the rental car...UNLIKE someone else I know. Heh.

A strange beginning to the event...

Famous, out-

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Firefly - Lessons Learned

Things I have learned from Firefly...

If someone tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back.

Steal from the rich... sell to the poor.

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.

Nothing buys bygones quicker than cash.

There are some things not to be mistaken for suggestions.

Be respectful of other people's cultures. Some people juggle geese.

Morbid and creepifying is OK, long as it's quiet-like.

That nothin' into nothin'...carry the nothin'... is nothin'.

A Stegosaurus and a T-Rex can never be friends.

Betrayl is sudden but inevitable.

To take that end of the stick, and take it. And that's somethin'.

If you dress yourself up, you get taken out somewhere fun. Even if you are a gun named Vera.

That how you get there is the worthier part.

There's nothin' more deceivin' than a low-down dirty...deceiver.

That when you arrive just in the nick of time, that makes you a Big Damn Hero.

That you should never hit a man with a closed fist. But it is, on occasion, hilarious.

That sanguine means both hopeful and bloody.

They don't like it when you shoot at them.

That the losing side of a conflict is not necessarily the wrong one.

That sometimes a thing gets broken and can't be fixed.

The small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting.

That one goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one.

There is a special level of Hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.

If you can't do somethin' smart, do somethin' right.

Even at the corner of "no" and "where" you are rarely as alone as you think you are.

Sometimes the voices in your head are right.

If you're still flying, it's enough.

Famous, out-

Welcome to the Blogosphere...

James S!

So, James was so happy to be a guest poster that he started his own blog.

Go forth and be amused by his ramblings...

Sarchasmic Hallucidations

Famous out-

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Oysterpalooza! -or- Does this month have an R in it?

Hmmm... Let me check.


Whoo hoo!

Time for an oyster roast!!

I've done smoked pork, pulled pork, lechon asado, wings, ribs, and some kick-ass baked ham over the last month and a half... But even though I spent 2 weeks on a semi-deserted island (i.e. no INTELLENGENT* life, Heh) I have not dabbeled in cooking any seafood lately...
We had an oyster roast the first week of December...

The Perfect Child on the prowl for a tasty morsel.

And I think it's getting to be time for another seafood fest.
A couple bags of oysters, maybe some crawfish...
Perhaps some scrimps and clams... Maybe some fried grouper.
Let's start with a nice oyster roast, shall we?

You know, it was a brave man that first picked up an oyster, pryed it open, looked at the inside of it and thought "Man. I wonder what that'd taste like?" and ate it.

I'm ok with raw oysters, but I'd rather they be steamed or roasted on a grill...
Oysters Rockefeller and Casino are ok but are a lot of work.

For you folks without a lot of experience with family Ostreidae here are a few pointers:

The Goods:
On the East Coast, oysters is oysters. Whether you have sweet little Malpeques or Beausoleils from Nova Scotia, Parramours from Chincoteague Bay in Virginia, Blue Pointes from Long Island Sound, or -my personal favorites- Appalachicolas from Appalachicola Bay, they are all the same critter- Crassostrea virginica...

If we talk Left Coast, it's a different set o' animals entirely.
The only native oysters harvested for human consumption you will find in the Pacific Northwest is the Olympia oyster (Ostreola conchaphila), once near extinction...
A series of non-native species were brought in to fill the void, and now you can get Kumamotos (Crassostrea sikamea), and Pacific oysters (Crassostrea gigas). This importation and proliferation is causing problems in the natual ecosystems in the Eastern Pacific, but since commerce overrules ecology, the oyster farmers will keep doing everything they can do to keep up with demand for these tasty shellfish.
As for other oysters you might come across, you'll occasionally find Belons (Ostrea edulis), originally from the Brittany coast of France, or Conway Cup oysters (the Crassostrea virginica again) from Prince Edward Island, and a host of other local oysters, but these are so rare in basic large US markets they are a novelty...

(This is easy.)
Go get a oyster knife and a heavy glove.
The oyster knife is a tool with a short blunt blade, used to pry open the oyster.
Should have a non-slip handle. The glove to to keep you from slicing open you hand either with the knife (bad), or the oyster shell (worse).

(Important: Should you follow these instruction and STILL cut yourself, immediately perform routine first aid. Don't wait until you finish that last few oysters, or delay until you're finished cleaning up... Do it NOW. The infection you can get from subtidal organisms is absoultely miserable and you can wind up extremely sick in a very short amount of time. Do yourself a favor: hot water rinse, antiseptic, antibotic cream or ointment, bandage. ASAFP. I'm not kidding.)

Ok... Let's get to work.

We have a big bag of Ostreidae, (at C&C seafood on Mayport RD here in Jax Beach I get two 40lb bags for $60. Your milage might vary)
1 shucking knife for each participant
1 glove for each participant
1 large roasting pan
backyard BBQ grill (propane is best)
several bottles of dark beer
2 clean towels
1 large serving tray (big enough for the full roaster)

Heat grill to Low-medium - (You should be able to hold your hand at grate-level for 4 seconds) Put roasting pan on grill and cover to bring the temp of the pan up.

Empty 2 bottles of beer in a large bowl, then soak the towels for minute- then lightly wring them out. (Periodically resoak towels during the cooking process, adding beer as needed.)

Prepare oysters for cooking- I hit them with a high-pressure spray from the hose to get off the worst of the mud and other muck, but if you are OCD or really want to go the extra yard, you can take a scrub brush to them...

When your pan is hot, add one beer to the pan, then put in a generous layer of oysters. Cover them with the beer-soaked towel and put them back on the grill for 8 to 10 minutes or until all the oysters are open.
(If one of two don't open, pitch the unopened ones. There is something wrong with them.)

Transfer the open oysters to the serving tray, and bring them to the table for the Ravenous Hordes.

To Consume:

Select a semi-opened oyster, hold in a gloved hand,
lever the shell open with your oyster knife.
Slide the knife under the meat, scraping to make sure adductor muscles are free from the shell, and then slurp the tasty morsel straight from the half-shell. Feel free to customize your slurpage with the following:
Lemon juice,
A dab of cocktail sauce,
Malt vinegar,
or... (drumroll please)
Uncle jay's Oyster Sauce:
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons Dijon-style mustard
1 tablespoon Tabasco Chipotle Pepper Sauce
1 tablespoon honey
1/2 teaspoon salt
Whisk together all ingredients in a small bowl.
Serve as a dipping sauce, or spoon 1/8 teaspoon into the shell before slurping.

One other thing,
It is considered good form for others to take turns at the grill, so everyone can enjoy the different activities of the oyster roast.

Famous, out-

*Please see the comment section in regards to this
egregious misspelling.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Best joke I've heard in a long time...

On the March Hare's Website...

The one about the invisible guy in the waiting room...


Guest Post - Big Chouffe

This is a guest posting from James S, one of the Usual Suspects from the trip to Koln last October...
(I was looking for pics of James... I only have one, and I don't think he'd like me to post it here...heh.)

He sent me an e-mail describing a new brew that he encountered on his travels, with an oh-so-lyrical description of the brew (and it's aftereffects) that I felt it needed to be shared...
I'm not sure if I should be complimented by his assertion about my capacity for beer, or insulted by being classified with Russian Coal Miners & African Bull Elephants, but I'll discuss this with him at a later point... Perhaps with a baseball bat or a shillelagh. Or a Chimay....

Please enjoy James' discourse on Big Chouffe...

All -

After finishing the 3rd Big Chouffe of my life last night ( The manly man 1.5 Liter Magnum that is, not the regular La Chouffe - and of course only 1 per sitting as I think that nothing alive could survive 3 in a row except maybe a large Russian Coal Miner, an African Bull Elephant or possibly Jay Young) I am coming to the point of near mystical awe and reverence in regard for this beer - while also preparing for my new life's quest - a pilgrimage to the mecca of beer - Achouffe Belgium - Where I will bow down at the feet of the masters in both homage and praise at their creation of the Big Chouffe.


I owe my discovery of this veritable nectar of the gods to the Michael Jackson of Pennsylvania ( the beer guy, not the fag - Beerhunter ), Brian Sherry, quite possibly the only man I have ever encountered who regularly finds, drinks, rates and passes on
better beer then say ........Michael Jackson, the beer guy, not the fag. He is an endless font of good beers to taste - raise a glass to him as I do while indulging in any new beer with the firm knowledge he has already tried it a year before you even found it.

So, with that said, the "Big Chouffe" is by far the best "drinking for a buzz" beer ever crafted by the fine hand of man. By my recommendation alone - those of you who have never indulged, If you ever have a chance at one of these Magnums - Go for the gold and buy it - then find a day where you can sit down and drink the whole son of bitch in one sitting - hide your car key my friends, hide your car keys.... This is a No Drinking Skirts allowed beer and one that will cull the herd of the light weight beer drinkers in its awesome presence.....

So here is the run down on this near nectar of the gods :

Description : Golden Ale, strong, spicy, lightly hoppy, with evoluting taste. Natural Beer, bottle refermented, unfiltered, not pasteurized and without any additives.

Storage : Store the bottles vertically in a cold place, sheltered from light. The
yeast deposit can either be drunk or left according to taste .

( The storage point is important unless you like beer with yeast floating in it - it still tastes fine but is like OJ with pulp in it, not bad, but not for everyone. So, in case that were to happen to you - always remember - there is nothing in beer that can kill you - even if there is shit floating in it)

As a foot note - and what the fine Crafters of the La Chouffe Brewery have not felt cause to mention a PC warning on their labels - and something they most likely should - are the 2 things that I both curse them and praise them for at once.

1) The Praise : The alcohol content (while posted) is so quick to hit you - that after 1.1/2 Pilsner glasses of this brew - your lit ( Well - I'm lit anyway - I'm kinda small in stature as you all are so kind and quick to remind me of on any sitting). The Chouffe pours out into about - 2 and 1/4 large Pilsner glasses - not the little pussy ones that get thin at the base - but the ones that are like 22 oz and flare out at the top - so after 1.1/2 - I defy anyone to tell me they are not feeling the love and considering calling it quits with an unfinished bottle in front of you - but I, the lowly beer hound that I am , have always felt bad about leaving that extra beer in the bottle - kind of like it needs to get it's chance for glory - so as not to offend the fine crafters of La Chouffe, I prefer to kill the whole bad boy in 1 sitting - To both my pleasure and regret at the same time of course.

2) The Curse : Lo be it to the family member or bystander in the general vicinity of you the next day.......It has become glaringly apparent to me that one, or all, of the evil Brewmeister's at La Chouffe have formed a pact with the Devil himself and have reached into the farthest cesspool of Hell while creating the Malt for this beer. The residual effects of this Ale by far tops the scale in rankest fart gas ever produced. Rotting meat has nothing on this stuff. I surmise that they have even felled the mighty Guinness in the hallowed halls of Fartdom with this brew.
I actually have been forced to literally run from the area I crack off in, it is so bad - all the while praying that no one saw my "exit stage left" and can link
me to the crime. Good lord this beer produces a fetid stench that would give pause to the best proctologist.

Now, If you are like me (and most of you are) and the fart is the endless source of laughter which the Good Lord intended it to be - then you will appreciate this lil story:

While I was driving the kids to school today, I was forced to drop the bomb in the car (completely out of character for me while with my kids of course - NOT ).
So what do I do you ask?? I immediately spring into action - Raising and Locking all windows at light speed and then cranking the heat on full blast on the blower setting - while eagerly waiting in anticipation for the reaction of a 7 yr old and a 4 yr old to my evil plan - but lo to my surprise - the noxious gas seeps up through my zipped jacket - like a warm creeping mustard gas - only to spew from the top of the neck enveloping my head and immediately bringing tears to my eyes (both in laughter and veritable disgust ).
Only then did it spill into the car, bringing forth a splendid chorus of retching and gagging from my kids in mere nano seconds after exodus. Immediately followed by the shouts of "Gross!" and "Daddy you farted!" "Roll the Windows Down!" amongst a flurry of fingers clicking the now useless window controls at their sides ( insert Dr.Evil laugh).
I was almost blinded by the tears of - dare I say delight?? It smelled so bad I felt Satan himself smile in justification with the "atta boy" pat to my back.

So, in summation : If you are looking for that great wife beating buzz, then this is the beer for you. By the end of just one Magnum of Big Chouffe your ready for a "Tootoo" and some ballet slippers.

All I can say in parting is "Serve me up another."

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be
~ Benjamin Franklin

Beer :The Cause of, and Solution to, all of Life's
~ Homer Simpson


Thanks, James.

Famous- Out-

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Lisbon to Dakar

I'm adding this to the "Stuff I wanna do before I croak" list...

The Lisbon to Dakar rally.

The race goes from Lisbon Portugal to Malaga Spain, then across the western Med to Nador Morocco, then through the western Sahara countries down to Dakar, Senegal...

I figure I need $200,000 for expenses and shipping, a BMW 1200RS and a lobotomy to make the trip.

Anyone want to sponsor me?

Amazing, out-

Goodbye Tortugas, Hello 2007

Just a few more pics from the 82° 51' West, 24° and 36' Northing, before I move on to more and bigger things for 2007...

First, a nice action pic-
Our fearless leader in the Tortugas,
Willie "No one ever died from an ass chewing" Lopez.

Lopez is on the water- all is right with the world...

Rather than taking the 2 hour ferryboat back to Key West I wheedled a faster ride back to Key Weird. If Seaplanes of Key West has a full day booked, the first flight out to the island has a deadhead going back in to Key West and occasionally we can hop a ride, but you have to be ready to go as soon as they hit the beach...

The 8:20 flight to Key West has arrived.

Hogan arrives for the first flight of the day.

The Farewell Committee

Sheri, Sarah and Trep send me off with style...

Taking off has it's challenges...

It's not often you see a sailboat on the runway when you're getting ready for takeoff...

There was a bad headwind heading back, so were were up around 3500' during the ride back.

Passing over the Marquesas.

There were several really good aspects of returning via seaplane...
First, I got to KW about 9:00AM...
Usually I'be be getting in at 6:00pm which made for a long trip back to Jacksonville in the dark, but now I'd be getting an early start on trip back home.
Second, I got to go to lunch with Buddy and Leanne-
Two wonderful folks who make my trips to DRTO smooth. They keep an eye on Physalia while I'm out at the Island, and they also were able to fill all the holes in my larder by making a run to the grocery story and sending out fresh victuals on the ferry boat.
In an effort to repay a small part of that debt, I took them to lunch at El Meson De Pepe on Mallory Square... I had the Roast Pork sandwich... Very tasty!

I also made time to hit my favorite place for conch fritters...
A little shack outside the Key West Aquarium just off Mallory Square.
They serve fried fish and other snacky stuff, but back in the Old Days all they served were conch fritters and bollos...

The Mother Lode...

Bollos, a hushpuppy-like fritter made of ground black-eyed peas, onion, and garlic were a staple we used as our drinking base back when I was just out of high school, before I headed out to the real world. We'd get a few orders of fritters and bollos and go watch Sunset at Mallory Square, then we'd hit Gringos or Captain Tony's for a night of drinking and debauchery...

Well... They don't make bollos any more, but the fritters are still the best.

Get an order of 6, and a little container of Key Lime Mustard... Ambrosia!

I got on the road about 1:30- just in time for rush hour in Miami...
Arrived back in Jacksonville at 10:30.

No more Island Time until July...

A long but fun trip...

Famous, out-

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Best Buzzwords 2006

Some of the best buzzwords of 2006-

1. Blamestorming: A group process where participants analyze a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves..
(Does anyone recognize Ned's Post-Olympic "Lessons Learned meeting"? Assignment of blame and praise for Non-Participants?)

2. Death by Tweakage: When a product or project fails due to unnecessary tinkering or too many last-minute revisions.

3. BMWs: Bitchers, Moaners and Whiners.

4. Clockroaches: Employees who spend most of their day watching the clock - instead of doing their jobs.
(Not to be confused with "THE Cockroach" up in ETS...)

5. plutoed: To be unceremoniously dumped or relegated to a lower position without an adequate reason or explanation.

6. Prairie-dogging: A modern office phenomenon. Occurs when workers simultaneously pop their heads up out of their cubicles to see what's going on.
(Residents of E-media, Events and the Dev Department are getting good at this.

7. Carbon-based error: Error caused by a human, not a computer (which we assume would be a silicon-based error). (Kind of a PEBAK for the new millenium.)

8. Menoporsche: Male menopause. Symptoms include a sudden lack of energy, crankiness and the overpowering urge to buy a Porsche.
(Because Menomustang doesn't sound right...)

9. Adminisphere: The upper levels of management where big, impractical, and counterproductive decisions are made.

10. Deja poo: The feeling that you've stepped in/been buried by this bull before.

11. Bobbleheading: The mass nod of agreement by participants in a meeting to comments made by the Boss, even though most have no idea what he/she just said.

12. Ringtone rage: The violent response by cube mates after hearing your annoying cell phone ringtone for the 15th time.

13. Muffin top: The unsightly roll of flesh that spills over the waist of a pair of too-tight jeans.

(From L3, purveyor of all manner of Good Stuff...)

Famous, out-

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Dry Tortugas Pictures

Various scenes from this trip to DRTO...

(my personal favorite... Think "Finding Nemo" meets "The Birds")

The Gulls

"Mine? Mine. Mine! Mine!"

Frigate & Jet

A jet on the 555 airway and an Everglades Kite (a/k/a/ Frigate Bird)

Sunset 1

A pair of campers enjoy a January sunset off the south beach.

Sunset 2

A larger group enjoying a sunset off the beach at the Garden Key campground.

Moat wall

The west side of the Fort...


Sunrise from the secdond level, over Garden Key Harbor

And finally- another unwelcome visitor-
One of four Turkey Buzzards that have taken up residence on Garden Key.

Keeping an eye out for fresh meat.

More pics soon...

Amazing, out-

Dry Tortugas 2007 FGA

Dry Tortugas 2007
Frequently Given Answers

Theses are the most frequently given answers from this trip...

1. Yes, I live here.
2. 2 weeks at a time, 2 or three times a year.
3. Yes, the Rangers live here too. Year-around.
4. Yes, there are a lot of birds.
5. Yes, we get a lot of Cuban migrants.
6. Yes, the noise of from our generators.
7. No, we can’t change over to solar power.
8. No, you can’t tie your boat to the dock overnight.
9. All our supplies come out on our supply boat.
10. Once a week.
11. It arrives on Tuesday and leaves the island on Thursday.
12. No, cell phones don’t work.
13. No, there isn’t a payphone.
14. Our fresh water comes from a desalinization plant, and we also use rainwater.
15. The best place to snorkel? In the water. Heh.
16. Seriously. In the swimming area, and the coaling docks.
17. Yes, we have satellite TV.
18. Yes, we stay here when there is a storm or a hurricane.
19. Yes, there’s lots of fish in the moat.
20. The moat depth is from 2 inches to 8 feet.
21. No, you can’t swim/dive/fish in the moat.
22. Yes, we get turtles here.
23. Mostly in the summer- May to August.
24. Yes, they have nests on all the islands here.
25. Yes, Bush Key and Long Key are closed to visitors.
26. No, no spearfishing.
27. No, no lobster diving either.
28. No, no Starbucks, Coke machine, ice or fishing bait for sale here. Sorry.
29. Yes, you can fish off the dock.
30. No, you can’t eat the seagulls.

Famous, out-