Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I love a good headline...

Four women finger NY subway perv

Story here.

Sometimes they just write themselves...

Amazing, out.

Quote of week (so far)...

After a tedious and tiresome converstaion in my office:

"Next time you come to talk to me, bring duct tape."


TBG out-

Saturday, April 22, 2006

One more thing...

I forgot the most memorable quip of the night.

We were talking of something inane-
Doubtless it was an like how much vodka to put in a Rum & Coke, or something very much like that...

Mark says "Well...You have to draw the line somewhere. Sometimes, the line is just curved..."

Truer words have never been spoken.

Amazing, out.

Captain's Orders

You can't teach an Old Dog new tricks...
Hence, I will never learn that going out drinking with Mark is folly beyond reckoning...
Worse- doing it 2 nights in a row is a recipe for disaster.

Some number of you Constant Readers of L2UJ might know that Thursday was our company All-Employee meeting. A twice-yearly shindig where we are informed of company news and policy changes, and othen stuff... Sometimes it's good- Event recaps and photo slide shows- and sometimes, well, not so much.
Tom Morgan.
That's all I should have to say to illustrate that point.

Anyway- After the meeting we adjourned to The Lemon Bar and proceeded to make a large dent in the supply of Captain Morgan in Neptune Beach.

I bailed around 8:45 and crept home...
Mark, Chris Hayes, Jamie Odum and Eric the New Guy, along with our guest drinker Tony "T-Bone" Surmonte stayed behind... Drinking.
I was home and adrift in the arms of Morpheus as they went from Lemon Bar, to Sliders, to The Ritz... Around 1:00 or 1:30 am Mark remembered that was a school night, so to speak... Chris, Jamie and Eric were taking Friday off... Mark, however, had to work, as did I.
I saw Mark early on Friday... Not pretty. He berated me for abandoning the effort so early... As I have told him many times-
"When you're dumb, ya gotta be tough."
I haven't lived this long without knowing when to cut and run...He needs to hear the branch creak every once in a while.

Last night I got a call...

"Hey man. Get down here to 11 South. I have someone I want you to meet."
Apparently he had met two girls and had been wowing them with his tales of drinking and debauchery in Italy and somehow had painted a picture of Yours Truly that was larger that life, if that's possible.
I came down to meet said flowers of feminity...

(Yes, I know the picture is a bit fuzzy... So was I, at the time... The Captain will do that to you...)
Cute, intelligent ladies... Didn't know why they'd be hanging out with Spongemark...

We drank for a bit longer, and of course I dazzled them with my wit and charm...
Here's where Mark went wrong...
They were married...
One of the girls' husbands showed up, and took her away from Mark's endless supply of Cosmopolitans, and, well... I took the other one home.

Mark? He remained at the bar, chitchatting with some friend of Jim Ingalls and sipping a drink made with sour grapes...


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

DUI Sweep in Duval County this weekend...

I just got this e-mail...


I have it on good authority that JSO is importing DUI squads to Duval County this Friday to have a major enforcement action. Kindly share this with anyone who will be out and thinkin of drinkin.

Makes me want to go out driving and drinking...
Who wants to come run the video camera whilst the po-lice men
"Rodney King" me for DUI?
Even better- hang out for several hours at the Ritz, drinking nothing but
Red Bull, then "stagger" out to the car, making a big show of trying to
find the keys (dropping them several times) and finally start the car and
sit with it running for several minutes... Then slowly drive off.
When they finally pull me over, I'll tell them I was the designated decoy for the 8
people I was drinking with tonite... Heh.
I guess I'll still need someone to run the video camera.
Any volunteers?

Amazing out-

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Questions, answers and comments

Augusta Edition
  1. No...I don't have any tickets.
  2. We're using {making quote motions with fingers a la Austin Powers} "lasers".
  3. No. No idea.
  4. Ok, yes then.
  5. If you don't charge your golf cart at night, you can't use it the next day. Q.E.D.
  6. We're not leaving the house. The traffic is too bad to go to dinner anywhere.
  7. No. I have not gone to the Hooters here in Augusta yet.
  8. I can't talk about it.
  9. No, really. I can't talk about it.
  10. Hole 3 to Security, we have a code 99. Oh, never mind.
  11. Oh no, not pimento cheese again...
  12. Hole 2 to Base... Where is the "stun" setting on this laser?
  13. What do you mean, you forgot your credential? It's easier to get in the White House without a credential than Augusta National.
  14. Hole 9, Hole 9... Where are you?
  15. Mark, can you check on hole 9?
  16. If I see one more pimento cheese sandwich....
  17. No problem Hole 17, I'll bring you your clipboard. And some ice for your eye.
  18. We have too many chiefs and not enough roosters. (Thanx Phil)
  19. If you're afraid of getting struck by lightning, I have some 1-irons that you can hold over your heads...
  20. There are no more. There won't be any more. Ever.
  21. We're screwed. (Athens legacy FGA)
  22. Can we get pizza delivered to hole 17?
  23. Hole 5 to base... We have to move the laser, again.
  24. Can you send this document by intercourse mail? Hmmm... That didn't sound right...
  25. We're getting our full 80% chance of rain for 60% of the day...

Famous, out-

Sunday, April 09, 2006

A Nice Golf Course Webcam

Tired of looking at the pic of the binding of the Torino Media Guide?
How about something new?
The Webcam is back on line...

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Fun on the menu, Augusta style...

At A Nice Golf Course like the one here, they are renown for some of the food available during the tournament.The egg salad is pretty good, and some people are enamored of the pimento cheese sandwiches...
They have ham & cheese on rye, and turkey, tuna salad, barbeque, and other goodies...
We have found, however, the best sandwich available is a is actually a combo-
Take one of the chicken filet sandwiches and a club sandwich,

and remove the filet, take the ham, turkey and cheese out of the club sandwiches,

and put them atop the chicken filet.

If you are in a position that has a microwave in the vicinity, put your chicken/ham/cheese assembly in and nuke it for 20 seconds or, if you own a Blue Toaster, put it on the dashboard for a hour or so in the hot Georgia sun...

Voila! An ANGC Cordon Bleu.

Famous, out-

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Fan mail, again.

Keep those cards and letters coming...

Monday, April 03, 2006

Sombrero Night - Redux

Things have been progressing nicely here at A Nice Golf Course...
All out equipment is set up, all of the prep work is done, and today (Monday) is our first day of practice rounds.
I had all of my volunteers show up yesterday evening for orientation, and it looks like most of them are veterans from last year. About 30 out of 35 are returnees- makes it good for me in that we won't have to do alot of initial training and they are fairly familiar with the software we use.
We had a little refresher training last night, and some more training for the noobs this morning...

I had a little visitor show up as I was trying to put our carts on the chargers last night.

A tiny little corn snake was trying to help... Cute little guy...

So, since all has been going so well, Spongemark decided it was time for part two of Sombrero night.
Now- keep in mind that between the last Sombrero night (Wed last week) and Last night (Sunday), Mark was also at Veracruz on Saturday night. (Are you getting the impression that Mark likes tequila? Good. You're on the right track.)

Ok... So, originally we were going to my favorite purveyor of chicken wings, but it was so crowded we had to bail on it and go to Veracruz...
And once again, there were shots on the table before we had placed our orders for dinner...

Two shots? Mark was trying to make a case that since I didn't come out and play on Saturday night, I needed to drink double shots.
And I don't know why Jamie was so happy about his pitcher of watered down Margaritas...

Susan has to separate out her M&Ms into piles of similar colors before eating them...

Could this behavior be construed as Obsessive/Compulsive or just racist?

And our moment of Zen every morning:

(Click picture for larger view)
We have to Stop and wiggle with it every morning on the way to work.
Starts the day off right.